Emotional RomanticIn love or have poetry that tugs at ones heartstrings? Please share your romantic tear-jerkers & emotionally draining pieces right here in this forum. I was reminded of him and just felt the feeling of, "click."
A gun with no ammunition
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Biography: I am a poetry, short story, and Novel writer.
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A gun with no ammunition
I was being reminded of him
uncountable times in the
beginning of it all. It was the lack
of his presence, a voice. The truth
stared at me and said,
"you can't fool yourself anymore,
it’s over." I refused to listen
and placed cotton in my
ears. But, there came a time
when truth wouldn’t be ignored
and I acknowledged its
infinite gaze.
I'm being reminded of
him when that song comes
on the radio. Followed by
another that we listened to,
danced to when we had first
met. Internally I groan but
I refuse to show any sign
of recognition. Feigning
boredom as I change to
another station, hoping
that I can fool myself
to believe this is the reason.
I'm being reminded of
him when I see chiggers in
the Midwest. Skittering about
on a pale flat rock. I remember
when I first got bit by one in
the South and how I wanted to
scratch my skin right off.
I never wanted to live there
because of those damn bugs.
I always thought that
I'd see something to cause
the past to flash in front
of my eyes, an uninvited guest.
Being reminded of him now
is like a gun being shot without
any ammunition. The trigger
happens but all I feel is,
"click" and it fades away.
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Biography: “To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.” -E. E. Cummings
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The Cannibalistic Woman has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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I like with this one the whole idea of the gun without ammunition. Maybe not exactly the same, but it makes me think of a camera without any film. There's a space where something should be, but since he isn't there it's empty.. But the thing is.. You can always find some better film or more ammunition and you'll wonder why you ever had that other stuff to begin with :]
I'd have to say my favorite section is this: I'm being reminded of
him when that song comes
on the radio. Followed by
another that we listened to,
danced to when we had first
met. Internally I groan but
I refuse to show any sign
of recognition. Feigning
boredom as I change to
another station, hoping
that I can fool myself
to believe this is the reason.
For the fact that I've done just the same, and it's a good way to put it because others could relate to it as well :]
I know my replies aren't as amazing as yours are, but I tried my best :] great write and I can't wait to read more.
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Anonymous Encounter has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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as CW stated i as well really enjoy the gun with no ammunition metaphor. i think this poem is so interesting because to me it sounds like the person knows what they're doing but can't help it. we have all been there, we all know how it feels. good write
Biography: I am a poetry, short story, and Novel writer.
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Thank you both for your replies on my poem! Cannibalistic Woman, lol, I love your explanation on the whole gun with no ammunition... you're right though! I agree with you, it is just like a camera without any film, loading to take a shot but instead of getting the picture or shooting the bullet you just hear the "click." And too true, then you just wonder why you had that other ammunition or film in the first place.
I'm glad that you pointed that part as your favorite, I feel like it definitely is my easiest part to relate to and I'm glad that you could relate to it too. And I think that your reply was great and definitely very helpful too, so thank you very much! I really do appreciate it.
And thank you Anonymous Encounter! I'm glad that you enjoyed the gun without ammunition metaphor too. And you're right with the whole knowing what they're doing but they can't help it... definitely is like that. You know, but yet, you just can't seem to stop it until as time passes it affects you less and less until there's no ammunition left and there isn't that pain/sadness/other emotions when you are reminded of them. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!
Biography: Hey, so I'm 15, have been writing poetry since I was about in 7th grade, and am just looking for some positive critique. Thanks :)
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rosesanddeath has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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nice poem, i can c where ur coming from with it. sometimes its hard to get over relationships, especially when ur the one whose told the news =/. but yeah, i luv the gun reference, clever usage. all in all tho the poem's rly easy to relate to and such, nice job
Hi Sarah.
I like this lots!
It's very well expressed and your words
describe it so clearly and perfectly.
I know the feelings. I love the end of this too!
Excellent write!
Biography: husband, son, BA in English Lit. from Univesity of Toronto
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OK SarahNSH, lovely poem with such poignant attention to details of an individual experience of love lost...'feigning boredom.../...chiggers in the Midwest.../those damn bugs.../all I feel is,/click.
all these strong concrete images are rounded up to create a haunting tone charged with such feeling. After reading this poem, I appreciate even more you liking my poem.
Biography: husband, son, BA in English Lit. from Univesity of Toronto
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mikeham has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
mikeham has not championed any arcade games.
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OK SarahNSH, lovely poem with such poignant attention to details of an individual experience of love lost...'feigning boredom.../...chiggers in the Midwest.../those damn bugs.../all I feel is,/click.
all these strong concrete images are rounded up to create a haunting tone charged with such feeling. After reading this poem, I appreciate even more you liking my poem.
I like with this one the whole idea of the gun without ammunition. Maybe not exactly the same, but it makes me think of a camera without any film. There's a space where something should be, but since he isn't there it's empty.. But the thing is.. You can always find some better film or more ammunition and you'll wonder why you ever had that other stuff to begin with :]
