Emotional RomanticIn love or have poetry that tugs at ones heartstrings? Please share your romantic tear-jerkers & emotionally draining pieces right here in this forum. Revised Version II For David Isaac...
Song of David
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Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Song of David II ---Revised
I decided to revise my original post called " Song of David" to refine it, with rhythm and rhyme. The person I called upon to help me was Sartor , so I want to thank him publically, and send a big hug !! LOL!!!
Sartor was kind enough to spend precious time with me, back and forth via e-mail. He taught me allot about poetry writing in this style. I am grateful for him to do this, and wanted to share the results with the Community.
I PM'd Ms Jacquii for her approval and expertise, and she gave me the ok to post.....
Hope you all enjoy this.....
Song Of David
Enamored I, a smitten soul,
because of feelings, once taboo,
with a transcendent love I stroll,
walking the path of love with you.
Tranquility, your silken voice,
when softly speaking love to me,
I'm left with galaxies of choice
and gleaming rainbow potpourri.
A crystal moon of silver blue,
painted our bodies argent white.
Emotions that, for me were new,
swirled in the magic of that night.
On damp and tangled sheets we lay,
beneath the silvered lunar beams.
Amid sweet scent of love's bouquet,
at last I realize my dreams.
See now, my Eagle soars aloft,
'tis love for you, in regal flight,
revealing layers sweet and soft,
of secrets on our wedding night.
When Wisdom paints my hair in gray,
my aged hands, will hold your face.
Beyond the grave our love shall stay
and we shall sing, in Love's embrace.
Last edited by PaintedDiary; 04-02-2007 at 09:55 PM.
Reason: additional comment & editing
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Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
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Hey KIM - I told you.... This poem is just so beautiful to me... The meter, rhythm and rhyme of the poem is quite brilliant actually - but when you add all that with the sentimentality and heartfelt l-o-v-e ---- it just sings like a beautiful ballad of sorts.
Quote:
Tranquility, your silken voice,
when softly speaking love to me,
I'm left with galaxies of choice
and gleaming rainbow potpourri.
I like this stanza very much - the idea of "rainbow potpourri" lends a bit of mysterious scent to the poem LOL (((can't think of the word I want to use right now.... olefactery doesn't sound right ))) but anyway it just makes the poem smell good --- for lack of better terminology lol
I also very much like the rhyme of "love to me" with "potpourri" --- very nice!
A lovely write for me KIM and a beautiful dexterity you've shown with this one - I really like it!
still sitting her dumbfounded, not just by the quality, but by the content and exactly what you were saying. I have many favorite parts in this, but the best is the last stanza. A picture of an older and wiser PD taking the face of her love in hands tracked my time...that one was amazing. or course the stanza about sheets being soaked brought up a few visuals, but then again you know me lol.
This is a wonderful wonderful piece. Thank you Tink.
Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
Kim........Your poem is beautiful.........filled with love and passion.......David should feel honored. You have let your heart fly with the eagles. Clapping here for you!!!
Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
Song of David II ---Revised
publically, and send a big hug 
!! LOL!!! 
))) but anyway it just makes the poem smell good --- for lack of better terminology lol
Ms Jacquii....hehehe...another name Isaac calls me, and uhhh, yes....there is a story......another beam down moment...LOLOLOL!!!!!!
