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Emotional Romantic In love or have poetry that tugs at ones heartstrings? Please share your romantic tear-jerkers & emotionally draining pieces right here in this forum.

Surrendering Your Soul
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Old 04-22-2008, 03:54 PM
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Surrendering Your Soul
Surrendering Your Soul
~
Seductively I surrendered myself
Into her delicate tender hands
Entrusting her with both my
Body and my soul
~
Leisurely she shows me the way
To discovery fulfillment deep within
As I learn to open my mind and body
To passion and lust
~
Stroking the yearning to learn
More about my wants, my needs, my desires
As she shows me the way to quench her
Thirst both body and soul
Last edited by Bear; 07-06-2008 at 03:51 AM.
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Old 04-22-2008, 06:15 PM
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I like that alot! It is really good has a nice flow to it. Really makes your mind understand how the soul is given up along with the body during times of pleasure without having to really say it.



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Old 04-23-2008, 06:24 PM
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thank you so much crazymomma for your great comment
hugs kisses
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Old 07-06-2008, 02:57 AM
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Hello Bear!

I found this poem to be another romantic and sweet poem and I like how you began your poem as well. I also like how you said that you learn more what your own wants, needs, and desires as well. I do have a suggestion that you could maybe use for one line:

As she shows me the ways to quench her
-

I believe that the above line sounds smooth with show being shows and this is my suggestion for this line. Of course, this is just a suggestion and completely up to you. Anywho, thank you for sharing and keep on writing away!



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Old 07-06-2008, 03:52 AM
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Thank you so much Sarah and you're right it does sound better just had the "s" in the wrong place lol
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