When will things change? - Poetry in Color Forum
 


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Emotional Romantic In love or have poetry that tugs at ones heartstrings? Please share your romantic tear-jerkers & emotionally draining pieces right here in this forum.
back to writing I guess

When will things change?
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Old 10-04-2007, 11:53 AM
  post #1
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When will things change?
before this life crashes in the wind,
before my love falls into sin,
the man I want to be hasn't got a chance to breathe,

I'm risking going off the deep-end,
but all is wasted if never risked,
I have no more logic left to creep in,
and I'm a shell upon my knees,

If I counted how I felt?
my heart next to yours,
everytime it melts,
I would place them in the stars,
so they'll shine over your heart,

I'm still wondering how long,
until this love will deal me wrong,
but now I keep it so close,
and I gladly see your love is valued the most.



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Old 10-04-2007, 01:35 PM
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oh my god this describes my feeeling in the relationship I am in right now. It's funny how you captured what I couldn't express. Thank you!
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Old 10-04-2007, 04:16 PM
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purely coincedence but I'm glad



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Old 10-04-2007, 07:21 PM
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Very nice, Erik...I like these romantic pieces of yours.

this line...
the man I want to be hasn't got a chance to breathe,

does it indicate that the love is stifling the "man you want to be"? or that you yourself want to grow more and your own issues re keeping you back? Not sure...

Nomad



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Old 10-04-2007, 07:30 PM
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therese thanks for comenting I think its the second one the grow more
because I tried to stay away from negativity in this one it'd hurt the message



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Old 10-05-2007, 03:40 AM
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Aww another sad love poem =(
I really liked it though

And this stanza was my favorite ^^

Quote:
I'm still wondering how long,
until this love will deal me wrong,
but now I keep it so close,
and I gladly see your love is valued the most.
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Old 10-05-2007, 09:33 AM
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thanks so much, your sites so cool,

I'm glad you enjoyed my poem its
the first in alittle while



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Old 10-19-2007, 06:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erikestabrook View Post

I'm still wondering how long,
until this love will deal me wrong,
but now I keep it so close,
and I gladly see your love is valued the most.
Hey Erik,

This was a sad write. However, it clearly describes the feelings of a man in limbo. You clearly are happy and want the love to stay close...yet almost waiting for the worse to happen. It is not only woman who feel this way, so it was interesting to see it from a man's perspective. You gave me yet another poem to ponder upon. Beautifully executed Erik!

PD



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