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Emotional Romantic In love or have poetry that tugs at ones heartstrings? Please share your romantic tear-jerkers & emotionally draining pieces right here in this forum.

YOUR BREATH
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Old 09-08-2007, 09:19 AM
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YOUR BREATH
If I could feel your breath on my face

and your hands in my hair

in the hours of the evening


The vastness of the days

would be effortless

and I could go on living

©dp



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Old 09-08-2007, 02:03 PM
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I'm focusing on the word effortless. Any thought easily expressed, bright or melancholy, is well suited for tercets, which is why I enjoy them. Many would describe this as simple in execution if not for how, immediately after that single word in the 2nd line of the closing tercet, a shadow falls to give the poem its final wash of color, a darkening effect that belies the hopefulness of the preceding lines.



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Old 09-08-2007, 07:52 PM
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Ahh how empty we feel without our soulmates. Beautiful capturing of that yearning... and the loneliness of it. Beautiful write dp ... love this.

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Old 09-09-2007, 01:57 AM
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This does seem really effortless and flows so so smoothly and like a fluid, yearning thought flowing through from one person to another...very nice!

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