When we are left with no exit and must sit with ourselves, as in meditation, I think in these moments we are most aware of the serpent inside of us, hissing and writhing.
It seems as though I am continually escaping my inner self by running unnecessary errands, buying this or that, or going out in public just because I am insecure with being alone. It is not necessary for me to prey on the external world, the world of human relations, the world of consumer products and entertainments. When I stay home and stay within my realm just for one day, and there is no exit, no possibility to escape myself, then I begin to develop a relationship to this serpent of body-consciousness that twists and wriggles and writhes and will do anything in its power to avoid feeling what is present.
My surging moods and emotional currents are always present, though I refuse to yield to them: I refuse to get in touch with the displeasure and discomfort that marks my existence. Instead, I exit my being countless times during the day.
By taming the serpent of body-consciousness, I shape the small spaces inside of me, one by one, the compartments of desire, hope, aversion, fear, excitement, nervousness, love, compassion, etc., and gradually I master the inner architecture of my being.
The serpent is also the source of profound autonomy. When I have conquered the serpent, I have conquered my most intractable “self”. No longer can I blame others for my riot of emotions. And it also becomes clear that most of my frustrations are the direct result of having expectations on other people.
While there is no doubt that the body craves the warmth and activity of other bodies, we can be trained to be alone. When I resist the urge to leave my house as I did yesterday, I find that my art and my thoughts draw a concentrated energy that is not attainable when I am “out in the world”. Only in deep solitudes does the fruit begin to emerge, quietly burgeoning and flowering out of the soil of our deepest silence.
11/20/2006
CRA
Last edited by ChrisA; 11-21-2006 at 04:17 PM.
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Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
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INTERESTING! ----> Chris you have written some awesomely powerful essays that DEMAND acknowledgement - this is one of those pieces that "self" just cannot refuse.
I think in these moments we are most aware of the serpent inside of us, hissing and writhing.
Just wow!
...this serpent of body-consciousness that twists and wriggles and writhes and will do anything in its power to avoid feeling what is present.
Just wow wow!
Quote:
Only in deep solitudes does the fruit begin to emerge, quietly burgeoning and flowering out of the soil of our deepest silence.
Question: Now that the fruit has seen it's "selfish" blossom - What can we do to entice other beings to recognize its "labor-of-EARNED-love" as that which can truly see reciprical acknowledgement? Respect is a more simple word - but I do truly believe reciprical acknowledgement could do more than one wonder on bringing about the truth of "peace" ------> Your essay is about the truth of peace!
Loved this write very much - Thanx for sharing it with us! Dude - though I know your avatar leaves much to be desired (it's a special graphic that I loved 1st time I set eyes on it - 'tis a characture of nothingness with eyes of stolid defiance...) - your talent is just AMAZING!
Jacquii.
FYI - I'd love for you to choose an avatar that better describes you - for sake of the Community of course - beautiful-smile!
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Dear Chris,
This is an outstanding write!! I would quote all of the above. Your heart and soul went into this. This is yet another example of the masterful writing you have shared with us from the beginning! I am in awe of this. Simply amazing.
Writing is life for me, and yet so many people in the "outside world" are not writers. But here, at the Forum, I can share my passion. Thank you for your generous acknowledgement.
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