Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Like A Phoenix (I Am Painted Diary)....{Re-write}
This is the re-write in which the last stanza was published on a GGO Greeting card...
Like A Phoenix (I Am Painted Diary)
I am not afraid
to strengthen my spine
shake that monkey
break that chain
royal blood leaves a crimson stain
like a phoenix, everlasting be my name
I am Painted Diary
long as the Nile
tall as the Cypress
malleable as Egypt’s gold
an exquisite black pearl
like a phoenix and timeless
Infinity walks with me
mountains applaud my soliloquy
like a phoenix
I am Painted Diary
my legacy painted in poetry
fragrant fire set me free
watchful eyes sharply pierce
as God’s hand lifts me
from the ashes of a burning husk
destiny reborn upon the cusp
ancient wisdom echoes intrinsically
As I RISE like a phoenix
PD
Last edited by MsJacquiiC; 03-23-2008 at 09:22 PM.
Reason: added GreetingsGalleryOnline.com link YAY!
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Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.
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BEAUTIFUL! Such an impressive re-write!
It's nice to see you've implemented a lot of the suggestions from the original Critique Saloon post! Very nice.
"watchful eyes sharply pierce
as God’s hand lifts me
from the ashes of a burning husk
destiny reborn upon the cusp
ancient wisdom echoes intrinsically"
JUST WOW!!!!!
this is just one of those moment's I'm having that a poem affects me in ways I can't verbalize.....and then wow is all I can say....
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJacquiiC
BEAUTIFUL! Such an impressive re-write!
It's nice to see you've implemented a lot of the suggestions from the original Critique Saloon post! Very nice.
Jacquii.
so much Ms Jacquii for everything and encouraging me to reach higher. The eCard is phenomenal! Just
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solo
"watchful eyes sharply pierce
as God’s hand lifts me
from the ashes of a burning husk
destiny reborn upon the cusp
ancient wisdom echoes intrinsically"
JUST WOW!!!!!
this is just one of those moment's I'm having that a poem affects me in ways I can't verbalize.....and then wow is all I can say....
Dear solo,
Thank you so much for taking precious time to read and comment. I am in awe and so grateful for your review. Especially coming from you and what I have read from you being an accomplished poet yourself. Reading this comment makes me feel like I finally touched a star as a poet. Thank you sooooo much.
I'm afraid I'm not as eloquent as Jacquii or solo. But I can tell you that I read this poem and could see everything as I read it! The simple eloquence of your words, the way you subtly or sometimes not so subtly use brush and paint to develop an image for all of us to see is you. I can read anything you write, remember the picture you had used as an avatar and see it in your work. It leaves me with a warmth inside which doesn't leave for a while and I feel just a bit better about myself.
I think it's the Phoenix, rising out of it's ashes, which is the most vivid image for me. I can see you doing the same!
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
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PaintedDiary has not championed any arcade games.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by butchiesmom
I'm afraid I'm not as eloquent as Jacquii or solo. But I can tell you that I read this poem and could see everything as I read it! The simple eloquence of your words, the way you subtly or sometimes not so subtly use brush and paint to develop an image for all of us to see is you. I can read anything you write, remember the picture you had used as an avatar and see it in your work. It leaves me with a warmth inside which doesn't leave for a while and I feel just a bit better about myself.
I think it's the Phoenix, rising out of it's ashes, which is the most vivid image for me. I can see you doing the same!
love ya, Sis!
Gail
Dear Gail,
Thank you sooooo much for reading and taking time to comment! I hoped you did enjoy this as I did re-writing it. I do try to place some paint of me on each canvas I create, and you are able to see the plethora of my hues. That is as
Like A Phoenix (I Am Painted Diary)....{Re-write}
so much Ms Jacquii for everything and encouraging me to reach higher. The eCard is phenomenal! Just 
