Well I thought I was the #1 fan
yehehehehheeeeee! Wow - I think the more this story evolves KIM - the more I want to get to the action. And this 3rd diary entry is like a teaser of sorts... I do like the very descriptiveness of this passage - but sometimes the...............erg can't think of the term - but the words that have the same sounds...
The Following Text Is Quoted:
he was like a forbidden gem faceted with felicity and fatal foist.
I think perhaps more than twice and that may have the potential to distract... I did especially liked the one that personified the passage title though:
silently seething in her mind was a menacing menagerie of malignant emotions.
Don't get me wrong though - the language is just beautiful to me - poetic even - but you have to remember that a shortstory audience may not be as accepting of such a poetic type regaling.
Thanx again for the sharing MS KIM - this collection is shaping up very nicely and I think it will be stunning in its completion!
Jacquii.
