Creative Traditional:Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Types of Poetry section.)
First and foremost, really sorry i haven't been active!
Everyone: Oh you left? I didn't notice.
Acceptable x]
*coughs* Weeellllll i've been busy with life and things Although i'm only 16, i still have a really busy life *dammit!* And when i get depressed i tend to stay away from forums and stuff... so yea =|
Honestly this is the first poem i've written since my last one! =o Although this post is long just read it through ^.^ (might be worth it, might be not >.<''')
Hmm well this is one of those poems i wrote just because i wanted to get all the want to write a poem out. You know sometimes you want to write so badly but you don't know how to let it out and so it builds up inside? Well for me i have to write in order to get it going >.<''' So i did =D Anyway this poem is told from the pianos point of view...
Yes, this poem is an Anthropomorphism. Meaning i'm giving human qualities to non-human things (like this piano for example).
Okay, as you may notice i will make reference to Opals alot. Not just in this poem but i have made reference in the 'Emo Love' poem as well. Why? Well first because Opals are my birth stone Second, I love Opals more than diamonds. I'm not sure why... but the most beautiful (and expensive) Opals are the Australian ones i believe. And they're drop dead beauty. I think it's the many colors that can be found in one that appeal to me so much. And that's why i imagine if you grinded one up the dust would be rainbow-ish which is really pretty.
Australian Opal (just one the many different kinds of Opals):
I'll be giving a description about it right after i post it. Oh and btw i wrote it with inspiration from a 'wintry' version of Dearly Beloved i heard.
Expand
Please open this and listen to it while you read the poem (otherwise you won't get it fully :p) Oh and of course i was also inspired by the keyboard that sits in my room xD
This poem took almost three whole pages in my notebook. Honestly though i wrote it in like 15-20 minutes? :p
Enjoy.
The Broken Piano
Reach… out to me,
Touch a glistening star,
Opal dust rides the wind,
Taking you this far,
Listen closely,
Almost musical aura rearing,
They said it couldn’t play,
Broken piano; urges searing,
Brittle, broken notes,
Just one touch and you feel,
The sadness that pours from inside,
A piano that ‘bleeds’ to heal,
Dreaming of notes; formed purely of opal,
Rusted black keys are now white,
But this piano refuses to stop dreaming,
It will continue to fight,
Screaming out in agony,
The piano breaks even more,
Some said they’ve even seen tears –
Form on the keys and drip down to the floor,
Then one day an orphan boy,
Feels that he is needed,
No older than seven,
He stands before the piano still undefeated,
The abandoned piano stood layered in snow,
Its’ satin black was now tarnished and did fade,
The little boy smiled and brushed off the keys,
He sat and then he played,
With knotted strings and rusted keys,
The piano was struggling to play,
But the boy didn’t give up,
His fingers paved the way,
Others gather around,
Adoring what they hear,
Shocked to learn that this piano,
Was the one kept out in the rear,
The melody, the sound; the notes,
All were opal-infused,
The sound was sparkling like that crystal,
The piano was finally being used,
As the boy just finished,
The piano had collapsed,
Teary keys; full of gratitude,
The piano felt loved at last,
In his final melody,
The piano spoke:
“I may not have been perfect,
I may not have been the best,
But on my final melody,
I can happily rest…”
*~*Explanation of the poem*~*
This poem tells a story from a pianos point of view. I almost cried writing this. But maybe that's because i was the one writing it...
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Reach… out to me,
Touch a glistening star,
Opal dust rides the wind,
Taking you this far,
A rocky start... i usually have trouble with the beginning so this doesn't have much meaning =| But it sounds cool
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Listen closely,
Almost musical aura rearing,
They said it couldn’t play,
Broken piano; urges searing,
Okay this is talking about the piano. It's saying to listen close on that sound in the distance. 'Almost musical aura rearing', it means that the sound you're hearing is broken and not so pleasurable. But it's trying to be pleasurable... Everyone said that piano couldn't play because it was broken. But that piano has so much inside it that's searing; it wants to be played and it believe in itself!!!
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Brittle, broken notes,
Just one touch and you feel,
The sadness that pours from inside,
A piano that ‘bleeds’ to heal,
The pianos notes have become brittle and broken... now imagine touching those notes and feeling how brittle it is. Imagine feeling that sadness pour into you from that piano. You know how when you get a cut and it bleeds then it heals and it's all better? Well this piano believes that if it 'bleeds' it'll heal and be like it once was...
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Dreaming of notes; formed purely of opal,
Rusted black keys are now white,
But this piano refuses to stop dreaming,
It will continue to fight,
The piano is dreaming of being played. Dreaming of creating notes that will be seen. Notes that will be formed purely of Opal. Meaning that everyone will love to listen and love to play on this piano The black keys are rusted so badly that now they're white. But the piano won't stop dreaming, it'll continue to pursue what it believes in.
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Screaming out in agony,
The piano breaks even more,
Some said they’ve even seen tears –
Form on the keys and drip down to the floor,
The piano screams out in so much agony, but it's a piano so no one can hear it. The pain and sadness cause it break even more. Some pedestrians walking by have claimed they've seen the keys of this piano form tears. That's right, this piano has been adandoned for years. Left outside in the back alley. It was a once beautiful grand piano that was used in concerts every night. It was so use to having people gather in hundreds of thousands to listen. Now it's once 'partner' no longer found it useful and chucked it outside. It now rusts from the snow and rain and everything else... (Hint: that's the whole story around the piano)
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Then one day an orphan boy,
Feels that he is needed,
No older than seven,
He stands before the piano still undefeated,
The 'tears' that the piano cried were carried by the wind in the form of a sad melody that no one could hear. An orphan boy somehow caught the melody and followed it, finding the piano. He was only a young boy, who was (like the piano) left outside and unwanted. He stood before the piano that was still fighting...
The Following Text Is Quoted:
The abandoned piano stood layered in snow,
Its’ satin black was now tarnished and did fade,
The little boy smiled and brushed off the keys,
He sat and then he played,
It was snowing at the time and the piano was covered in so much snow. Once a beautiful satin black the piano was tarnished and the color had faded. The little boy didn't care though, and he brushed off the snow revealing that infact there was a piano under it all. He started to play a melody (Hint: It's the same melody that you heard on the youtube video) The boy did know how to play the piano as when his parents were alive they taught him to play it
The Following Text Is Quoted:
With knotted strings and rusted keys,
The piano was struggling to play,
But the boy didn’t give up,
His fingers paved the way,
It's been so long since the piano was cared for that the strings had become knotted and the keys were so badly rusted. The piano was struggling so hard to please the boy. He wanted to please this little pianist.. so... badly... Think of it like his final wish. The boy took notice of this so he didn't give up on the piano... he 'saw' himself in the piano (as no one wanted him either.. )
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Others gather around,
Adoring what they hear,
Shocked to learn that this piano,
Was the one kept out in the rear,
People start gathering around curious about what's going on. And of course they loved the melody they heard. But once they knew that it was the broken piano that was making this melody they were all shocked. They couldn't believe it was the same piano they made fun of time after time...
The Following Text Is Quoted:
The melody, the sound; the notes,
All were opal-infused,
The sound was sparkling like that crystal,
The piano was finally being used,
Somehow the piano had regained it's former self, and everything about it just shone. It's dream of producing 'Opal shinning notes' became reality. It was finally being used.
The Following Text Is Quoted:
As the boy just finished,
The piano had collapsed,
Teary keys; full of gratitude,
The piano felt loved at last,
Just as the little boy finished, the piano collapsed onto the ground under it (Basically this means the piano is 'dying'). The keys were still tearing though, full of such gratitude towards the little boy that made it's dream come true. The piano finally felt the love it was trying to obtain all through these years.
The Following Text Is Quoted:
In his final melody,
The piano spoke:
“I may not have been perfect,
I may not have been the best,
But on my final melody,
I can happily rest…”
In that final melody that the boy played, the piano spoke in the language of notes. No one understood him though (but other pianos did =D). Anyways he was just expressing himself and saying his final statement. How he wasn't perfect or the best but now that he has finally been played he's happy and ready to finally give up on his life and die (which btw he was suppose to die when he was chucked out but he refused to. He wanted to fufill his dream and feel happiness once more..).
Well i hope you guys enjoyed this poem as much as i enjoyed writing it.
Wow Riha,
This is wonderful. The piano music was a perfect complement. It carried me in, and I found myself in a light falling snow, watching this boy give a tired black grand piano its last wish.
I truly enjoy your writing style. You are very good with images and emotion.
I was so happy to see your post. I've been worried about you. I was just about to send you a pm.
Jolie
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
This is just so beautiful and breath-taking.....and I love the instrument chosen, and you choice to give it emotion and a voice. This brought forth much emotion from me and tis a long story. I found this piece to be captivating, enchanting, and purely magical. The paintings that came to mind with the music while reading (as you suggested) are golden. It is indeed great to see you posting again. Hope all is well no matter how old you are. Take Care Riha.
Kim
Never, Never____ Stop Painting Your Diary!!
Last edited by PaintedDiary; 11-04-2007 at 01:22 AM.
this was nice. never saw one written from the instruments perspective and you couldn't have chosen a better instrument. I do like the emotions and feeling you give the piano. the line that is my favorite is
a piano that bleeds to heal. i play keyboards, in fact, i have one just like the one in the movie. i cant tell you how many times i put all my pain into it, and got back melodies and love.
in my mind the piano still lives and the one last play wasnt just one last play.. it lasted forever.... the boy found love in a piano, which brought about love from a widowed woman in the crowd listening to the piano being played so lovingly... after the performance... she walked up to the boy and hugged him.... and turns out this woman was the daughter of the guy who chucked out the piano...the father never wanted his daughter to play the piano, because he thought that she wasnt committed enough in her love for the music.. so in frustration, the guy chucked the piano.. and daughter has been looking for the piano ever since.. and she finnaly found the piano when the boy played it.. and she offered the boy to take the piano home with her and live at her place...
it could go deeper then that... but i'll leave it to the writer to ponder....
great job... look at the inspiration you gave me.. lol glad to read you againe stranger...
hopefully you got my message.. so didnt think that i never missed you, cause i do!!
~*~suck me into your happyness, your bliss....
let me find myself lost in your spirit~*~
I like this poem a lot actually. It's quite beautiful and a heartfelt piece of writing, especially when read listening to the beautiful keyboard music you posted!
The term Anthropomorphism is sort of new to me - I've read the concept before but generally just write (whenever I can find my Muse) - put it on paper and forget about the definition of certain concepts - But the way you've written AUMAKUA, giving the piano an actual voice is quite stunning - It's always nice to hear the different perspectives - and I as a fan of classical music in general can certainly appreciate the voice! But then in your explanation and your infusion of the opal into the poem - just makes it all so real; Believable actually - to think the neglected can actually find some simblance of peace.
I thoroughly enjoyed your poem - Thanx for sharing it with us.
JAcquii.
“I do use powerful words to evoke emotion, but also to stimulate imagination. If one can 'see' the words dance before
his eyes - then he can likely feel, smell and even taste them as well. And I do thoroughly enjoy really tasty poems.
My poetry is an emotions-fest sprinkled with a little garlic salt, Mrs. Dash, fresh ginger and Tabasco sauce...
My poetry is like a piece of General Tso's chicken tossed in ghetto soul.” ---MsJacquiiC
Yay more comments Thanks for teh comments everyone ^.^
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Originally Posted by bloodletting_of_the_sky
in my mind the piano still lives and the one last play wasnt just one last play.. it lasted forever.... the boy found love in a piano, which brought about love from a widowed woman in the crowd listening to the piano being played so lovingly... after the performance... she walked up to the boy and hugged him.... and turns out this woman was the daughter of the guy who chucked out the piano...the father never wanted his daughter to play the piano, because he thought that she wasnt committed enough in her love for the music.. so in frustration, the guy chucked the piano.. and daughter has been looking for the piano ever since.. and she finnaly found the piano when the boy played it.. and she offered the boy to take the piano home with her and live at her place...
it could go deeper then that... but i'll leave it to the writer to ponder....
great job... look at the inspiration you gave me.. lol glad to read you againe stranger...
hopefully you got my message.. so didnt think that i never missed you, cause i do!!
Wow... I like how you went further to think of a 'story' to it.. really interesting actually. It made me continue to think about what happened next
Now for something random...
I know this totally doesn't matter to anyone *coughs* But i'm just so shocked and happy that i'm going to post it anyway n_n
I can't believe how popular that piano poem is... and i just published it Sunday x.x''' I'm so amazed at how many messages i've got O_o
Last edited by MsJacquiiC; 11-09-2007 at 12:34 PM.
Reason: oops...
Didn't need the explanation or the music, your poem - metaphor - speaks for itself. I do intend to return to hear the music when it's not so late.
You obviously have a talent for writing. Your poem is adorable, both in the emotion it evokes and in the viewpoint. I will mention, though, that with free-verse you don't need the constraint of end-rhymes, (yours were smooth all the same), as there are other poetic devices that enhance the reading of free-verse such as middle-rhyme, onomatopoeia and so forth.
Thank you for a very delightful write and I look forward to more from you.
The Broken Piano
Although i'm only 16, i still have a really busy life *dammit!* And when i get depressed i tend to stay away from forums and stuff... so yea =|
Second, I love Opals more than diamonds. I'm not sure why... but the most beautiful (and expensive) Opals are the Australian ones i believe. And they're drop dead beauty. I think it's the many colors that can be found in one that appeal to me so much. And that's why i imagine if you grinded one up the dust would be rainbow-ish which is really pretty.
Thanks for teh comments everyone ^.^
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