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Crimson Snow

Thread Information: This thread has 9 replies and has been viewed 361 times
 
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Old 09-09-2007, 10:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
Misunderstood
Aumakua's Avatar
Name: Riha
Last Online:
02-16-2008 09:10 PM
Default Crimson Snow Aumakua Started This Thread
Hush now darling, hurry to sleep,
There’s someone you’ve been wanting to meet,
Drift off now, to your crimson dreams,
Hug your little teddy, torn at its seams,

Wake wake now, Its finally begun,
Trapped in your dreams, there’s nowhere to run,
Crimson snow falling gentley overhead,
We all know that soon you’ll be dead,

Wander endlessly, there’s nowhere to go,
From the gray sky falls crimson snow,
Here there’s no such thing as a garden of roses,
Grab your gun and make suicidal poses,

Everything you touch turns to ash,
Snow building up on the eye of your lash,
Tormented by nightmares, haunted by life,
You know the only way out is the knife,

Trembling and cold, you try to awake,
To go back and live a life so fake,
A deceiving smile, secrets you keep,
The wounds in your heart are just too deep,

Please don’t struggle, Please don’t fight,
I promise you my dear it’ll be alright,
There we go, make bigger gashes,
Snow falling on all of your lashes,

Bleed crimson like the tainted snow,
Heaven isn’t where good girls go,
It’s all a lie, none of it’s true,
Life was a lie but you already knew,

Now that you’re dying you feel love,
Your bed drenched in crimson blood,
Hold on to teddy, hold him tight,
I told you everything would be alright,

Your dreams start fading as the blood flows,
When your life is hell this is how the end goes,
But still you smile, Can you tell me why?
When now you should be saying your final goodbye,

Ohh it’s too late, your heart has stopped,
And from your hand the knife has dropped,
Now teddy’s alone, poor little bear,
He was the only one that truly did care…
POETS
One Thought.
One Moment.
Endless Possibilities.

 

Old 09-10-2007, 11:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
Moon Goddess of Whispers
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Name: Karen Davies
Last Online:
05-27-2008 10:16 PM
Default Re: Crimson Snow
Wow...I like this too.
Kinda morbid but I like it.
Awesome dark write and I like the dark ones.
Totally enjoyed every word of this, thanks!


Nightlife calls me.
Through her I am free.
It's the only way to be,
all caught up in a mystery!
Born with full moon fever,
I can make you a believer!
For I am the moonchild,
truly born to be wild!
 

Old 09-12-2007, 12:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
Moderator
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Name: Therese
Gender: Female
Location: Claremont, CA
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04-05-2012 11:54 AM
Default Re: Crimson Snow
Oh, man, all these suicide pieces are so sad. Brings hopelessness to a whole new level when it ends like this. Very gripping piece...I had to read it twice...superb rhyming and beat!

Nomad

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
 

Old 09-15-2007, 12:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
Misunderstood
Aumakua's Avatar
Name: Riha
Last Online:
02-16-2008 09:10 PM
Default Re: Crimson Snow Aumakua Started This Thread
Yay thanks both of you for reading it and commenting ^^
 

Old 09-23-2007, 08:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
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lasher's Avatar
Name: Tom
Gender: Male
Location: Massachusetts
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Last Online:
09-15-2011 04:37 AM
Default Re: Crimson Snow
Hey now Aumakua,

Wow, and now for something completely different....
How did I miss this one? Fantastic.. I've been readin' your poetry and all I can say is...Gripping, Flowing, Realistic and Amazing - oh, did I say wow......

Great writing, enjoyeed mucho....
 

Old 09-23-2007, 09:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
Misunderstood
Aumakua's Avatar
Name: Riha
Last Online:
02-16-2008 09:10 PM
Default Re: Crimson Snow Aumakua Started This Thread
Yayness!! ^^ Glad chu likied it and thanks for the comment =]
 

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Old 09-24-2007, 06:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Bear's Avatar
Name: Thomas Altier
Last Online:
05-29-2008 02:31 AM
Default Re: Crimson Snow
awesome dark write Aumakua wonderfully written
hugs kisses
bear
ps gentley should be gently
 

Old 09-24-2007, 07:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
Jims Inn
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01-22-2011 05:51 AM
Default Re: Crimson Snow
hi aumakua ... if this is just a poem then as moonchild said ... dark ... deep and beautiful ...

if it isn't just a poem then its darker ... deeper and dangerous ...

you know who to ask if you need to ask ...

luv ya!

jim
"Life is just a bowl of All Bran
You wake up every morning and it's there"
The Small Faces ... Ogdens Nut Gone Flake
 

Old 09-24-2007, 10:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
Email Address Update Needed
Benny's Avatar
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01-12-2008 05:42 PM
Default Re: Crimson Snow
Dark and intriguing...almost could feel myself being pulled into a nightmare myself.
 

Old 09-26-2007, 06:49 AM   #10 (permalink)
Misunderstood
Aumakua's Avatar
Name: Riha
Last Online:
02-16-2008 09:10 PM
Default Re: Crimson Snow Aumakua Started This Thread
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Originally Posted by Bear View Post
awesome dark write Aumakua wonderfully written
hugs kisses
bear
ps gentley should be gently
Damn spelling mistake... that's for pointing that out =D I'll be sure to triple check my work =]

Keep in mind Mr.Jims my poetry is never just poetry...

Thanks for the comments everyone ^^
 


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