Creative Traditional:

[SeithrArget]

I've been a bit busy, it seems...

Dust

Dust that rises from the ground,
Choking, killing, twining ‘round
A defenseless neck
That snaps like thread.

Heavens’ angels turn away,
Cold stern faces tell him nay,
An outcast lost,
Denied shelter and bread.

Lost and lonely, troubled
Crying out, but muffled,
A soothing hand
Who offers food and bed-

Into the darkness cloying
With deadly monsters toying,
He found a home
Here, where mortal souls have fled.

For now he honed a deadly skill
That brought to him a chilling thrill
Of power,
Addictive, bleeding red.

And it was then he ventured out
Wielding power, still in doubt
That vanished
As his power left the angels dead.

At last, he returned to death,
Welcomed back with poison breath,
Where dreamless sleep
Escaped him for agony and dread.

And other soldiers join him,
Faces tight, eyes so grim,
In haunted sleep
Leaving others in their stead.

[Aumakua]

That was awsome, seriously. I loved the way it rhymed and flowed so nicely. Makes me want to read it again

[nomadicrhymer]

This is quite a tale of rejection and vengeance…very well written, and you used some really nice imagery that brought out a scary picture…very entertaining! I’m not sure how the title follows through the poem, however, or did it just start off a chain reaction?

Nomad

[Jims Inn]

this is so cool sophia ... for one as young as you are this is a very very mature piece of work ... i think you have a great future ahead of you as a writer ...

luv ya!

jim.

[SeithrArget]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by nomadicrhymer

This is quite a tale of rejection and vengeance…very well written, and you used some really nice imagery that brought out a scary picture…very entertaining! I’m not sure how the title follows through the poem, however, or did it just start off a chain reaction?

Nomad

Thank you for the comment ~ I couldn't think of a title to go with this poem, so I just left it as the first word. Ironically enough, when I sat down at my computer to write, I was trying to create a birthday poem for my friend, but this came to me instead. =]

[nomadicrhymer]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by SeithrArget

Ironically enough, when I sat down at my computer to write, I was trying to create a birthday poem for my friend, but this came to me instead. =]

LOL! Well, it might be a good thing you got this off your chest first then! Did you ever write the birthday poem?

Nomad

[SeithrArget]

I did, as a matter of fact, though I still need to edit it.

[PaintedDiary]

I tell ya' you and Riha are gonna set this world on fire with your wonderful works. Bravo dear poet!

PD