Into The Vortex - Poetry in Color Forum
Register Members List JPiC Blogs Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read JPiC Newsletter

Go Back   Poetry in Color Forum > Poetic Colours > Creative Traditional
JPiC Forum Chatbox
Chatbox Disabled For Your Usergroup...
* You must be logged in to view and use the JPiC Chatbox!
Recent JPiC Forum Posts
Newest Announcements/Admin Notes
 

Into The Vortex

Thread Information: This thread has 10 replies and has been viewed 443 times
 
Social Bookmarks Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 08-30-2007, 07:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
JPiC Contributor
Kit Carson's Avatar
Name: Mike Carson
Kit Carson's Mood:
Last Online:
01-02-2011 12:17 PM
Icon6 Into The Vortex Kit Carson Started This Thread
The voice within resounds again
Seeks to tell what’s worth telling
Into the vortex I will spin
Tell tales of seas I was sailing
~
Seeks to tell what’s worth telling
The right from wrong I’m not saying
Tell tales of seas I was sailing
Truth be told we were just playing
~
The right from wrong I’m not saying
The bars I entered were just cages
Truth be told we were just playing
Say all the wise men and the sages
~
The bars I entered were just cages
Into the vortex I will spin
Say all the wise men and the sages
The voice within resounds again
~
Mjcarson
8-29-2007
The Following Text Is Quoted:
We are all the sum of our destinies
.




Kit Carson

http://www.publishamerica.com/shoppi...atalogid=21516

http://www.amazon.com/Higher-Lower-M...3231140&sr=1-7
 

Old 09-12-2007, 11:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
Terence's Avatar
Name: Terence
Last Online:
05-06-2008 01:34 PM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
Hi Kit, spinning in a vortex comes across with this form, (that I can't name right now). You did a good job getting your thought over with such restrictions.

Well done, Terence
 

Old 09-12-2007, 04:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Moderator
nomadicrhymer's Avatar
Name: Therese
Gender: Female
Location: Claremont, CA
nomadicrhymer's Mood:
Last Online:
04-05-2012 11:54 AM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
I love this style...the repetition make the words resound in your head, lending them huge importance and the flow of this poem is perfection.


Nomad

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
 

Old 09-13-2007, 09:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
JPiC Contributor
JolieH's Avatar
Name: Jolie Harsch
JolieH's Mood:
Last Online:
05-02-2012 12:30 PM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
I think I am spinning in a sea of conflicting tides. Terence is right. This really does have the feel of entering a vortex.
Jolie

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
 

Old 09-13-2007, 10:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
JPiC Premium VIP Member
Mysty's Avatar
Name: Mysty
Mysty's Mood:
Last Online:
05-12-2012 03:55 AM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
Wonderful Write I recognize the form but do not recall what it is named. Would you be so kind as to enlighten us Dear Kit?
One thought .....
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Tell tales of seas I was sailing
I was wondering if .... instead of Tell tales.... what about Tall tales? Just a thought you can use or lose hon. Enjoyed this nonetheless..... Thank you for a Wonderful read Gave it 5 stars

Mysty
 

Old 09-13-2007, 10:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
Moderator
nomadicrhymer's Avatar
Name: Therese
Gender: Female
Location: Claremont, CA
nomadicrhymer's Mood:
Last Online:
04-05-2012 11:54 AM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
Wonderful idea Mysty...whether it's used or not...because it gives that line a "Gulliver's Travels" feel...pretty cool.

Nomad
 

Visit Our Friends
Old 09-14-2007, 05:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
Miss Understood
MsJacquiiC's Avatar
Name: Jacquii Cooke
Gender: Female
Location: In a cloud of smoke.
MsJacquiiC's Mood:
Last Online:
Today 05:42 PM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
Hey MIKE - I can't recall what form it is either - but it reads so smoothly and effortlessly which no doubt was difficult to accomplish with so many repetitive lines - I like the form very much - it reads like an old Irish jig of sorts - especially considering the theme of sea.

A very nice and intricately woven piece of poetry!
Thanx for the sharing

Jacquii.



“I do use powerful words to evoke emotion, but also to stimulate imagination. If one can 'see' the words dance before
his eyes - then he can likely feel, smell and even taste them as well. And I do thoroughly enjoy really tasty poems.
My poetry is an emotions-fest sprinkled with a little garlic salt, Mrs. Dash, fresh ginger and Tabasco sauce...
My poetry is like a piece of General Tso's chicken tossed in ghetto soul.” ---
MsJacquiiC



JacquiiCooke.com | Poetica Magnifique
Professional Web & Graphic Design Services
GreetingsGalleryOnline | Beautifully Free e-Cards


You REALLY Like Us? ==> Support JPiC with a donation or Purchase a premium membership

 

Old 09-14-2007, 05:05 PM   #8 (permalink)
Miss Understood
MsJacquiiC's Avatar
Name: Jacquii Cooke
Gender: Female
Location: In a cloud of smoke.
MsJacquiiC's Mood:
Last Online:
Today 05:42 PM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
Thought I recognize the form - It's PANTOUM right?
Perhaps there is publishing yet to come for you: Poetry-Defined.com

Jacquii.



“I do use powerful words to evoke emotion, but also to stimulate imagination. If one can 'see' the words dance before
his eyes - then he can likely feel, smell and even taste them as well. And I do thoroughly enjoy really tasty poems.
My poetry is an emotions-fest sprinkled with a little garlic salt, Mrs. Dash, fresh ginger and Tabasco sauce...
My poetry is like a piece of General Tso's chicken tossed in ghetto soul.” ---
MsJacquiiC



JacquiiCooke.com | Poetica Magnifique
Professional Web & Graphic Design Services
GreetingsGalleryOnline | Beautifully Free e-Cards


You REALLY Like Us? ==> Support JPiC with a donation or Purchase a premium membership

 

Old 09-14-2007, 09:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
JPiC Contributor
Kit Carson's Avatar
Name: Mike Carson
Kit Carson's Mood:
Last Online:
01-02-2011 12:17 PM
Default Re: Into The Vortex Kit Carson Started This Thread
Thanks everyone and yes it is a pantoum and I am already entered in there, but I written 12 of these now and absolutely love them, but they are hard to do. Thanks for the lovely comments all and suggestions, but I think "tell" is better than "tall" because these are real tellings and I wouldn't want anyone to think that they weren't.
 

Old 09-15-2007, 03:22 AM   #10 (permalink)
Miss Understood
MsJacquiiC's Avatar
Name: Jacquii Cooke
Gender: Female
Location: In a cloud of smoke.
MsJacquiiC's Mood:
Last Online:
Today 05:42 PM
Default Re: Into The Vortex
I actually agree with you MIKE LOL - someone once told me I am a "teller of tall tales" ---- NEVER did quite understand that one and still scoff at it whenever I get the chance LOL - I think "tell" is the better word as well AND yes - I did do a little reading in the Types of Poetry section - but I 1st read in the Calls section - don't know if you submitted the same poem - but I thought the form is a familiar one! I've yet to write my own pantoum - but the way you've written shows me the beauty that the form is all about! Again = Thanx for the share

Jacquii.



“I do use powerful words to evoke emotion, but also to stimulate imagination. If one can 'see' the words dance before
his eyes - then he can likely feel, smell and even taste them as well. And I do thoroughly enjoy really tasty poems.
My poetry is an emotions-fest sprinkled with a little garlic salt, Mrs. Dash, fresh ginger and Tabasco sauce...
My poetry is like a piece of General Tso's chicken tossed in ghetto soul.” ---
MsJacquiiC



JacquiiCooke.com | Poetica Magnifique
Professional Web & Graphic Design Services
GreetingsGalleryOnline | Beautifully Free e-Cards


You REALLY Like Us? ==> Support JPiC with a donation or Purchase a premium membership

 


JPiC Portal > Main Forum Index > Poetic Colours > Creative Traditional

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



Navigation
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:02 PM.
GreetingsGalleryOnline.com

Powered by vBulletin® gets JPiCans scribing.
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Some Custom Pages Using vBAdvanced CMPS