Creative Traditional:Celebrating Mother Earth? Seasonal, Traditional & Rhyming poetry posts here. (i.e. sonnet, limerick, haiku & all other poetic forms as seen in the Types of Poetry section.)
Okies you guys... listen to this (piano version of 'Hello' by Evanescence when you read this poem. It's what gave me the inspirtation. No this poem is not copied it is 100% ORIGINAL. Btw if you get a chance listen to the second link which is the real song... please?? ^^)
Anyway this a CHILD ABUSE poem.... and the girl in the poem is 8 okies? No it's not a real story that i know of.... but it is sad =**( I'm so depressed TT.TT *sniff* Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh >.>;;;; <.<;;;;
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Mommy, why?
She looked at him and asked,
He turned and told her no,
She was so confused,
He yelled at her to go,
“Mommy, mommy? Mommy!”
Her mother was on the floor,
“Mommy I need you!”
Her father came through the door,
“Daddy what’s wrong with mommy?”
He walked up to her and glared,
“Daddy! She won’t get up!”
He kicked her with force and stared,
She held her ribs in pain,
He smirked and left the room,
Crying silently next to mommy,
As the night shone with the moon,
She didn’t understand,
‘Mommy, what’s wrong?’
She missed her mother humming--
Her a sweet lullaby song,
“Mommy if I cry,
Will you cry too?
Mommy if I’m sad,
Would it affect you?
Mommy I’m trying to be a big girl,
But daddy is so cruel,
Every night he hurts me,
I lie about it at school,
Mommy I miss you,
If only you knew,
I’m scared! Scared of daddy!
Scared of what he can do!
Mommy I’m so sorry,
But tonight I cried,
Daddy hit me so hard,
I felt like I had died,
Mommy is this goodbye?
I don’t want it to be the end!
Mommy I’m scared!
I miss you; my only friend,
Mommy I hear something,
Daddies coming to hurt me,
Mommy! Please make it stop,
It’s you I want to see!”
She cried out to her father,
“Please daddy no!”
But he gave her words no heed,
Her body marked with abuse did show,
This time he hit too hard,
Her body was severely crushed,
Even at the hospital,
After they tried to rush,
She couldn’t be saved,
Now mommy and daughter lay,
And daddy is in jail,
Mommies spirit and daughters are forever together everyday.
My gosh Riha,
This is sad, sad, sad. I'm glad he went to jail in the end, hope he died there.
Jolie
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Riha, I love the combination of the music and the poem...truly sad...even more so because none of them survived...so no chance of healing...or loving each other...learning to care through the pain...ditto on Jolie's comment as well. Very nice choice of song!!
Nomad
Excellenceis the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
Thanks everyone very much for the wonderful comments ^^ And i'm glad you enjoyed the music along with it. I thought it gave it a 'push' to more sadness
i couldnt stand reading this.. it made me sick..
you know to think that there are some people out there that get off on doing shit like the actions you described..
and what the hell are they thinking? dont they see the affects?
i dont meen to say that i was sick reading your writing.. but this is a pretty strong topic... and it cant be taken lightly.. only someone with no heart would skim over this with no emotion...
anyways.. i do have one thing else to say... you could add some genuine pain to this by taken away the rhyme scheme.. and just go freestyle with it.. the result would have such a more real effect....
but the whjole point is that i love how you have such a heart for families like those that have father's like the one in this poem... those kids are the one's who truely need understanding... because what happened to them is so brutal that almost noone ever listen's to them
big hugs to you hun.. for your big heart.
~*~suck me into your happyness, your bliss....
let me find myself lost in your spirit~*~
the blend of music and poem wasn't perfect,
they went together pretty well though,
one thing the Mommy parts which she states abundantly,
is the one part that doesn't match the music too me,
I think the music though adds even more sorrow,
and despair defenatly got out here
I agree on the music thing. But since it's what gave me the inspiration i figured what the hell xD Thanks for reading and teh comment ^^
The Following Text Is Quoted:
Originally Posted by bloodletting_of_the_sky
ah!
i couldnt stand reading this.. it made me sick..
you know to think that there are some people out there that get off on doing shit like the actions you described..
and what the hell are they thinking? dont they see the affects?
i dont meen to say that i was sick reading your writing.. but this is a pretty strong topic... and it cant be taken lightly.. only someone with no heart would skim over this with no emotion...
anyways.. i do have one thing else to say... you could add some genuine pain to this by taken away the rhyme scheme.. and just go freestyle with it.. the result would have such a more real effect....
but the whjole point is that i love how you have such a heart for families like those that have father's like the one in this poem... those kids are the one's who truely need understanding... because what happened to them is so brutal that almost noone ever listen's to them
big hugs to you hun.. for your big heart.
I know ;______; This poem is too sad i felt like crying while writing it >.>;;;;
Sadly i don't think anything anyone can do would stop these things from happening TT~TT Which really sucks .__________.
And i agree on the freestlye as well but for some reason rhyming came to me o.o
Thanks for reading and teh comment ^^
That cruel bastard, I hope he died in his prison cell
Oh sorry caught up in the moment there
This was so sad to read, I listened to the link with it, very emotional. The song and your poem made a heavy emotion connection together, and it did bring a tear to my eye. Awesome work
Mommy, why? (child abuse. May make you cry)
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