Creative Traditional:

[Malekelm]

I tried to tell
The truth in a poem
Tried to pull it out
My gut where it
sat pressing on my lungs
But the words never
Came up from their place
Took a cheap,
rusty coat hanger
metal-wire with a thin
coat of chipping white paint
untwisted the head
cracking, flaking, bending
straigtening it out
like a broken arm
Crude line and hook
Dipping into the ocean
Of my soul where
All the thousand truths
I felt swimming inside
Managed to get away
It poked within
Swished and swatted
I veered left
The truth swam right
Then-Desperate--
Determined
I took a butter knife
lined it across my
butter-caked stomach
Picking out
A section in the sea
where the truth
seemed heavy--deep
I cut. It came,
Seeping out
Flowing for the first
Instantly relieved
Letting it spill, spill.
It took a moment
It took two moments
Then I could smell it
See it and realize
Almost as if I should
Have always known
As if a part of me
Had always known
Corruption
I cupped my hands
It was truth
And it wasn't
Changed irreversibly
Upon impact with the air

[Minellis'Vertigo]

Hi Malekelm
I really liked this poem. Physically hunting down and trying to find the truth in yourself gave some great imagery to go with the thought.

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Malekelm

Took a cheap,
rusty coat hanger
metal-wire with a thin
coat of chipping white paint
untwisted the head
cracking, flaking, bending
straigtening it out
like a broken arm
Crude line and hook
Dipping into the ocean
Of my soul

I thought this was really well written. To me it sounds sort oof impatient and desperate -you want the truth by any means.

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Malekelm

I took a butter knife
lined it across my
butter-caked stomach

This line also stood out to me ,it reads great.
Again I really enjoyed this poem, thanks!
Rachel