Creative Traditional:

[JolieH]

Warm air rises around
her reflection intermittent
in fall leaves, a mirage in a song.
Memories in the skies refraction
like rain on a hot summer day.

He stands in the distance
reflection like a cactus
stretched across the road.
His image perceived a mirage, like
a twinking star on a desert stage.

A forsaken road, hot tar,
two hearts thirst love
each retains distance
as the other moves toward
an unreachable rainbow.

[lasher]

Hey now Jolie,

I like this - I get good visuals......
Sometimes it's a long, forsaken road, indeed......
Enjoyed mucho.....

[JolieH]

Thanks so much Lasher,
A few kind words can really boost ones enthusiasm. I appreciate your time and thoughts.

[erikestabrook]

A forsaken road, hot tar,
two hearts thirst love
each retains distance
as the other moves toward
an unreachable rainbow.

this part was very good,

I think in this it shows that you can use metaphors very well,
and still retain a good message,

there wasn't allot of extra substance to distract,
which is very good, it goes right to the killer point.

[PaintedDiary]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by JolieH

He stands in the distance
reflection like a cactus
stretched across the road.
His image perceived a mirage, like
a twinkling star on a desert stage.

each retains distance
as the other moves toward
an unreachable rainbow.

Jolie...you are on fire with your writing I see!!! This poem is crisp, inviting, and quite exquisite. I love the freshness I felt with you giving the elements humanistic characteristics and emotion actually. I also love the use of "she" and "he"...this sets the poetic tone here. Very unique. That brought this poem into another dimension for me. In its brevity the mirage appears to the reader beautifully! You are writing some outstanding pieces, please keep them coming! Loved this, excellent rating!

p.s......It is so great to come back to your writing...I missed everyone....

PD

[Mysty]

Jolie.... Awesome poem. You can really see the visuals and feel the hoplessness. Beautiful lines and my favorite stanza :

The Following Text Is Quoted:

He stands in the distance
reflection like a cactus
stretched across the road.
His image perceived a mirage, like
a twinking star on a desert stage.

Awesome!!!

Mysty

[Terence]

Lovely images, Jolie. As your lines say, you can never get any closer to a rainbow, it just keeps its distance. A sad reflection for sure. I really enjoyed it.