Emotional Romantic:

[~Serenity~]

Not my best work - with two stories battling for attention inside my head, they both get a little mixed up Sorry if you're expecting "happily ever after" - this isn't it.

Smiles!,
~Serenity~

My Fairy Tale Night
The lights were low, the music high
But then, you mumbled, "so was I."
Kinda cold out, but that's alright,
Dancing close kept me warm all night.
We told ourselves it was a lie,
Trying to bug another guy.
But, y'know what, I think you knew
That I had fallen hard for you.
Later, walking in the night,
Tension, like there'd been a fight,
From the words unsaid inside my head
And uncertainty of thoughts unread.
Almost home, we kissed goodnight
Then when you were gone from sight
I couldn't go home, I stayed outside
I ran far and fast, trying to hide.
The pitch-black park, my destination,
Screaming out my agitation.
I couldn't tell you how I felt,
So in the darkened grass I knelt
Trying not to fall asleep,
Feeling numbness start to creep.

Not all fairy tales end in bliss,
I hold the proof inside of this -
My fairy tale night ends in tears
A climax of my pain and fears.
~Serenity~

[erikestabrook]

uh it does start rather confusing, although I understood it since,
I've ad the multiple parts thing before, it can be really good and you still no tunderstan dit yourself, its a little word called transcendence I'm not saying that you did that in you rpoem but i'm saying it could happen and appeared at the end

[~Serenity~]

Yes well it was a confusing experience - bound to end up a confusing mess of a poem Thanks for the comments Erik! Always much appreciated! Now I know part of the problem, I can try to figure out how to fix it - I planned on re-doing this piece but I couldn't figure out what to change. Thanks!

Smiles!,
~Serenity~

[PaintedDiary]

Dear Serenity,

This is raw emotion uncensored, and bold. It is how you felt at that time, and I believe your pain poured through this. I would not change a thing. It is what you felt, and is what I received. No, you are so right, not all fairy tales are blissful, and the real ones are called relationships that always need to be worked on. I enjoyed this from the craft of writing standpoint, but am sorry to read of your pain. Take Care Ms Serenity.

~*Painted*~

[Bear]

such emotion of a love never spoken and it's true not all fairy takes end in bliss I love this wirte Serenity
hugs kisses
tom

[erikestabrook]

now my second opinion this was great,
such a new take,
and very good

[Sally Roberts]

You are absoluely right Serenity,

Not all fairy tales end like the perfect ones in books. You have captured a tale that indeed was as surreal as the realities of life.

Good imagery and honestly breathtaking.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings

[Jeez]

The passion and the
confusion of inner pain,
all splatted there as
if throwing paint on
a canvas.

Thanks for the
read.

[mangodroplet]

Very raw, but very true.
Poetry is straight from the heart, and you really accomplished it here.
I loved it :]
Nice job!

[deep_poet86]

It shows true emotion which is always nice, it was a great read, thanks for sharing.