Final Edit:

[PaintedDiary]

This is the re-write in which the last stanza was published on a GGO Greeting card...

Like A Phoenix (I Am Painted Diary)

I am not afraid
to strengthen my spine
shake that monkey
break that chain
royal blood leaves a crimson stain
like a phoenix, everlasting be my name

I am Painted Diary
long as the Nile
tall as the Cypress
malleable as Egypt’s gold
an exquisite black pearl
like a phoenix and timeless

Infinity walks with me
mountains applaud my soliloquy
like a phoenix
I am Painted Diary
my legacy painted in poetry
fragrant fire set me free

watchful eyes sharply pierce
as God’s hand lifts me
from the ashes of a burning husk
destiny reborn upon the cusp
ancient wisdom echoes intrinsically

As I RISE like a phoenix

PD

[MsJacquiiC]

BEAUTIFUL! Such an impressive re-write!
It's nice to see you've implemented a lot of the suggestions from the original Critique Saloon post! Very nice.

Jacquii.

[solo]

"watchful eyes sharply pierce
as God’s hand lifts me
from the ashes of a burning husk
destiny reborn upon the cusp
ancient wisdom echoes intrinsically"


JUST WOW!!!!!

this is just one of those moment's I'm having that a poem affects me in ways I can't verbalize.....and then wow is all I can say....

[PaintedDiary]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by MsJacquiiC

BEAUTIFUL! Such an impressive re-write!
It's nice to see you've implemented a lot of the suggestions from the original Critique Saloon post! Very nice.

Jacquii.

so much Ms Jacquii for everything and encouraging me to reach higher. The eCard is phenomenal! Just

Kim

[PaintedDiary]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by solo

"watchful eyes sharply pierce
as God’s hand lifts me
from the ashes of a burning husk
destiny reborn upon the cusp
ancient wisdom echoes intrinsically"


JUST WOW!!!!!

this is just one of those moment's I'm having that a poem affects me in ways I can't verbalize.....and then wow is all I can say....

Dear solo,

Thank you so much for taking precious time to read and comment. I am in awe and so grateful for your review. Especially coming from you and what I have read from you being an accomplished poet yourself. Reading this comment makes me feel like I finally touched a star as a poet. Thank you sooooo much.

Kim

[butchiesmom]

I'm afraid I'm not as eloquent as Jacquii or solo. But I can tell you that I read this poem and could see everything as I read it! The simple eloquence of your words, the way you subtly or sometimes not so subtly use brush and paint to develop an image for all of us to see is you. I can read anything you write, remember the picture you had used as an avatar and see it in your work. It leaves me with a warmth inside which doesn't leave for a while and I feel just a bit better about myself.

I think it's the Phoenix, rising out of it's ashes, which is the most vivid image for me. I can see you doing the same!

love ya, Sis!
Gail

[PaintedDiary]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by butchiesmom

I'm afraid I'm not as eloquent as Jacquii or solo. But I can tell you that I read this poem and could see everything as I read it! The simple eloquence of your words, the way you subtly or sometimes not so subtly use brush and paint to develop an image for all of us to see is you. I can read anything you write, remember the picture you had used as an avatar and see it in your work. It leaves me with a warmth inside which doesn't leave for a while and I feel just a bit better about myself.

I think it's the Phoenix, rising out of it's ashes, which is the most vivid image for me. I can see you doing the same!

love ya, Sis!
Gail

Dear Gail,

Thank you sooooo much for reading and taking time to comment! I hoped you did enjoy this as I did re-writing it. I do try to place some paint of me on each canvas I create, and you are able to see the plethora of my hues. That is as beautiful as writing. You are incredible! Thank you so much again for visiting Gail. I am all misty now!

Love Ya' Sis!

Kim

[MsJacquiiC]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by butchiesmom

It leaves me with a warmth inside which doesn't leave for a while and I feel just a bit better about myself.

You sometimes amaze me GAIL! And I agree with what you just said and particularly this Phoenix piece is a special favorite of mine and what you said is better than I could ever have voiced! I thinks you are of the extreme eloquent. And it's catching!

@ SOLO - Ha! It's quite an amazing piece isn't it! You zeroed in on my favorite lines as well:

[butchiesmom]

Ok, I'm blushing! I just write what I think. When talking about my well, it's not that deep, lol.

hugs,
Gail

[solo]

I say...that graphic is amazing!!!!!!....reminds me of a question i have been meaning to ask...hmmmm....I will have to pm miss jc now