05-24-2007, 10:36 PM
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Salad Dressing Semen Spawns Trouble
Here is the man of the hour, Marco Raphael Castro. Mr. Castro, 17, is a senior at Wheaton North High School in Illinois and has been charged with disorderly conduct and attempted aggravated battery for rubbing one out into the ranch dressing container and placing it back into the condiment cart for everyone else to enjoy.
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The Following Text Is Quoted:
Salad Dressing Semen Spawns Trouble
May 24, 7:25 PM (ET)
WHEATON, Ill. (AP) - A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria.
DuPage County Judge Terence Sheen also placed Marco Castro on two years probation Wednesday and ordered him to write a letter of apology to Wheaton North High School officials. Castro must complete his community service work for an agency that works with AIDS patients.
Sheen called the prank "beyond stupid.""If you prove to me you're worthy of another chance, in two years, then I will give it to you," Sheen said.
Castro pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in connection with the Dec. 6 incident. He admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch.
Students reported Castro, and the senior was expelled from Wheaton North. There were no reported cases of illness following the incident.
Castro told police he thought of the prank after watching a movie filled with crude stunts.
"I have no explanation for what I did," Castro said in court. "I felt bad after I did it."
Harry Smith, Castro's attorney, noted that the teen already had been punished, including missing the end of his senior year and humiliating himself and his family.
"It has not been without consequences," Smith said.
Here is the official letter sent from the principal of Wheaton North High School
to parents explaining the extra saltiness in the ranch dressing.
As You Imagine - The Bloggers Are Having A Field Day
- Can you imagine the quantity of bodily fluids this kid will ingest in his lifetime if he stays in the area, where everybody knows who he is? Payback will be hell!
- If that isn't bad, apparently South Park is making an episode about the "ranch dressing incident" as our dear principal once called it. They are also reportedly going to use his name, so even if he goes elsewhere for the reason you cited above or for other reasons, his name and reputation will precede him. It is doubtful to my friends if he'll ever be employed because of this. Even if he was a minor (which I think is the case) and he gets his record cleared, his name and face were all over the news, so his employment chances are still very low.
- Are you serious? Maybe he should start a "prank" salad dressing company. With free publicity like that, he should probably take advantage of it. His parents must be tearing their hair out. Looks like they will have to leave the country, now. lol
- This is hilarious.
- Those poor parents. I can't imagine their horror when they discovered they had this creep for a son.
- Yeah, I go to Wheaton North. The first time I heard it I got mad that my friend would believe those rumors. Then, next period people were joking about so many people being absent b/c of it. Then, we got a call home and I finally realized that it was real. It was gross, but funny b/c on the national report, everyone was smiling. His brother is a freshman with me and I feel bad for him b/c he'll be forever known as the ranch kid's brother. Plus, Marco was one of our amazingly smart students. He was going to gradulate early and everything. He threw it all away...
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