Inspiring Novelists:

[Mysty]

Awesome Kim..... Please continue ...... dear god ..... I had at first thought she had a succubus visiting her. But vampires are very sexual creatures too. My favorite vampire character right now is on Moonlight or Moonlighting ..... plays on tv on friday nights up here. My god he is one Hawt man. I am totally drawn into your story .... I wish there was more to read.

argh .........I need more Kim lol....

Love

Mysty

[PaintedDiary]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Mysty

Awesome Kim..... Please continue ...... dear god ..... I had at first thought she had a succubus visiting her. But vampires are very sexual creatures too. My favorite vampire character right now is on Moonlight or Moonlighting ..... plays on tv on friday nights up here. My god he is one Hawt man. I am totally drawn into your story .... I wish there was more to read.

argh .........I need more Kim lol....

Love

Mysty

Dear Mysty,

at the HAWT man! lol.....thank you for reading and commenting Mysty...more coming later today hopefully!

Kim

[MsJacquiiC]

Ist - let me say HUMPHH! This is wild - Perhaps I mean HMMM! Yeah - it's more of a hmmm! moment - You're like welcome to #2 Bitches! LOL..... OKOKOK.... Wow! Let me settle down.

I am loving this 2nd entry - very much... The writing does seem a bit tighter than the 1st posted version/ prior to the edits... There's a bit more mature in this #2 entry... Like you can actually tell the psychiatry sessions are working and Sascha's inhibitions are swept away. Interesting thing - You didn't sign it with Sascha's name o_O lol.... OK - one suggestion I noticed that IMO needs to be changed:

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by PaintedDiary

I sketched her as mystical, erogenous, enchanting, and cunning.

I'm liking the beginning of this - but I don't believe a person can be "erogenous" - a person can have an erogenous zone... I think perhaps you should edit to say "mystical, sensual, enchanting, and cunning." - OR just to add an adjective that better describes a person...

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by PaintedDiary

She was a perfect femme for a Salvador Dali painting. Then I thought, yes, Dali, was the perfect name for her.

I'm in love with this beautiful passage. Yes - I'm a Dali fan - and this part is most captivating to me. Beautifully written KIM.

The Following Text Is Quoted:

My world shattered as I sat in a crimson bath. Vampires do indeed exist, and so did Dali.

Now when nearing the end of this 2nd entry - I'm like OMFG wow! Yep - you wowed me - And I'm still thinking - what a beautiful name is Dali for a vampire - but perhaps Dali can be a Vampiress with capital "V" = hmmmmmm? Meh - perhaps vampire is more than sufficient. And you've established the hook.

Moving on to #3... I'm liking this intriguing series KIM - And I see that you've taken a bow LOL - Well deserved - Well done!

Jacquii.

[MsJacquiiC]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Mysty

Awesome Kim..... Please continue ...... dear god ..... I had at first thought she had a succubus visiting her. But vampires are very sexual creatures too. My favorite vampire character right now is on Moonlight or Moonlighting ..... plays on tv on friday nights up here. My god he is one Hawt man. I am totally drawn into your story .... I wish there was more to read.

argh .........I need more Kim lol....

Love

Mysty

Had to read the other comments - Oh yes - Vampires are definitely sexual creatures LOL - could be the supreme modus operandi - Well at least the way I think in terms of vampirism anyway

Jacquii.

[PaintedDiary]

Thank you ladies so much for reading and commenting...I am excited about this series and hope that I can deliver! Love ya!

Kim