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Eilia

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Old 04-17-2007, 01:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default That Which Was Foretold Begins butchiesmom Started This Thread
“Keirn?”

“Mmphf?” A sleepy question.

“Keirn! Waken! It’s the child! It comes!” Brinn raised her voice. Her hand would be next.

“Are you sure?” Another sleepy question.

Brinn painfully straightened from her bent position over Keirn’s ear, her hands on the swollen belly which hindered her and glared at the one eye he’d opened. “I should know, it’s my body,” she pointed out, “The child will arrive by tonight.”

Keirn groaned and got out of bed. “All right, I’ll go for the midwife. You ready everything for the arrival.”

Breathing the crisp morning air awakened the sleepy traveler. He had made arrangements with, Mara, the midwife of the nearby village, Asailia. Since he didn’t want to attract the attention of the village gossips, he would go to a prearrange place and wait. Mara had begun, the month before, to visit that spot with increasing frequency until she went by there every day. She was to walk past and glance at the spot where Keirn was now waiting. If she saw him, she was to go home, get what she needed and meet Keirn at the cottage to birth the child.

After Keirn was sure she knew to come, he returned to Brinn. There, he found his bed stripped, the shullabark mattress covered by an old quilt she’d found somewhere. A harder mattress than she was accustomed to in the palace; she forbore to lay on it until absolutely necessary. Brinn was moaning, bent over the child inside her, intense pain accentuated by her strained face and neck muscles. He wanted to do something to ease her pain, but nothing in The Craft would help her. For the one of the few times in his life, he was at a loss as to what to do.

“This will be the death of me!” Brinn wailed, “No woman survived birthing at the palace.”
“But this isn’t the palace,” Keirn pointed out, “You’re safe here. All will be well. You and the child will survive.” It was what he said but didn’t believe. Brinn’s aura, never that bright, had dimmed even more. It was the child using what was left of its mother’s life force to birth.

The journey, to find him, had taken much of the energy which was her life force. It was only by chance he'd decided to work on the stone fence that day. He should've been hunting to restock the larder, but it was such a nice day, he changed his mind. While heaving a large stone into place on the fence; he'd seen someone duck back into the woods just as the sound of horses' hooves drew his attention to the road.

Keirn brushed his hands on his pants and started across the meadow when he saw several soldiers stop and dismount with their officer. A tall man, it took only a slight increase in his stride to reach the road as they dismounted. He went to the one issuing orders to split up and look for something and he was certain what it was. Now was not the time for the bumbling clods to actually find what they were searching for. He knew who was hiding in the woods and what the patrol would do to her if she were caught. There was a reason why the King's patrol had such a nasty reputation.

He choked back laughter watching the soldiers trying to get through the heavy underbrush

"What can I do for you?" he asked

"Looking for a missing woman from the Hill region," the officer replied. He held up a much-folded flyer with a woman's face on it. "Have you seen this woman? We have this flyer posted around the village. She's pregnant and carrying a pouch. We want her and that pouch."

"I've been working on this fence all day," Keirn said, "Haven't seen anyone like that come by." Keirn wanted the patrol to leave before they spied the hider. He recognized the name on the handbill and knew who was hiding from the patrol. It was his job, from now on, to guard her and the child she carried.

"If you see her, hold her prisoner and send someone for a patrol. We've increased patrols in all five regions, since no one knew where she was going or when she left."

"I'll watch for her," Keirn agreed. Since the people in this area were known for their honesty, he knew the officer would take him at his word

Keirn watched as the officer remounted and the patrol moved on down the path. I promised I'd look for her, I didn't say I'd turn her in. He turned and walked back to the edge of the meadow. She's grown a bit in the last few years. Keirn stopped within hearing distance from the hiding place.

His first impression, when she came out of her hiding place, was that of looking at a scarecrow in the fields. Her gown hung from her body, He could tell she’d tried to clean up a bit from t he dampness of the hem of her gown and drops of water on the bodice after washing her face in a nearby rill. He could tell she’d run her fingers through her hair but it was still stringy and matted in a places, as if it hadn't been washed or brushed in more than a few days. Still, it didn’t distract from the tears in the skirt over the tattered hem and the sleeves of what looked to be a cast off maid’s gown.

She must not have thought of nor had time to look for a pair of serviceable shoes which would’ve been much easier on the feet. The slippers she wore, though they had obviously been made of finer material, were now beyond repair. Her first toe peeked out through a rip in the front of one slipper, the sole of the other slapping the ground a second before her foot.

“How do you know my name?” Brinn asked, “Why was I led here, of all places? Who are you and why are the voices telling me it’s safe now?” "It's a death sentence for anyone who hides a fugitive," Brinn said. "Why didn't you tell them I was hiding here?" she asked.

"I recognized your name and knew why you were being hunted by the patrol," he replied. "The prophecy begins with the child you carry, that's why they wanted you, they want your child.


Keirn could see her aura fading. Not bright to begin with it waxed and waned. “There will be time to answer all your questions,” he said. He reached to grab her hand as she swayed once again, but she frightfully pulled away. What happened in to her in the palace? he thought but said instead, “Let’s get you to safety. I have a place nearby. The voices are right. You’re safe now.”

His instincts screamed at him to scoop her up and carry her to safety. It wouldn’t be much of a burden since she looked like she weighed next to nothing, instead Keirn picked up the sack he’d brought his midday meal in and headed for the cottage. The Guids, what Brinn called The Voices, would ensure she follow him.

Though he was grateful when Mara appeared shortly thereafter, the appearance of another person alarmed him. Keirn took Mara aside. “Who is this?” he queried at the sight of another woman with her. “My apprentice, Mae,” she answered, “She’s learning the art of midwifery to take back with her to her village.”

“This was not part of our arrangement. What if…” Mara interrupted him. “It might not be part of our arrangement, but if you look beside Mae you’ll see her belongings. She’s not going back to the village; she’s leaving from here for her home after the birth. Don’t worry your woman will be safe from prying ears and voices.”

Though not reassured, Keirn agreed to Mae’s presence. As Keirn, Mara and Mae moved toward the cottage, Brinn let out a scream. Keirn and Mara looked at each other and moved faster. When Keirn tried to go in with the two women, Mara turned and stopped him with a hand on his chest. “You don't want to watch this!" she warned. Keirn moved forward into the cottage as he tried to warn her of Brinn’s words.

"She is filled with sorrow and waits only the birth of this child for her entry into the life hereafter," he said even as she hustled him back out of the cottage. "I've been birthing babies for a long time," Mara assured him, "All mothers believe they won't survive the birthing. The fear is forgotten once they hold the babe in their arms, so don't worry. Go find something to do until the child is birthed. Now…out!"

That had been hours ago. He’d been all over his property trying to find things to do. He’d rubbed down the dripping sides of his horse; milked the moaning, strained, udders of the milkbeast; mended the stone fence, again; and dozens of other chores, trying to stay out of the way of the three women inside. A query, at midday, for something to eat, was met with a loaf of bread; a chunk of cheese; a few slices of meat and another admonition to stay out.


Keirn split the last log, propped the ax against the shed and stacked the pieces on the woodpile. He mopped his brow with a sweat-soaked rag and exhaled loudly. He looked longingly at the tree-shaded cottage wishing he could go inside for food and a cold drink. He thought of Mara’s warning and decided it might be better to find something more to do.

His eardrums felt another scream, higher in tone this time. He didn’t understand how Mara and Mae endured Brinn’s screaming. Plateau women birthed their children in a calm, quiet atmosphere, he had a feeling her fee would be outrageous! The cottage was centered on an acre of land he’d acquired when he arrived in the village. He was almost half an acre away at edge of his property, yet her screams were still painful.

The intensity of vibrations on his eardrums from Brinn’s screams lessened as the day waned into dusk. Doing, yet another mindless task, he went about the property gathering kindling for the fireplace. It had been growing colder at night and the child would need to be kept warm.

It was silence which brought him to attention. So, the child must be birthed, Keirn thought.

Yet, there were no infant cries, only silence, from the cottage. Was that part of the prophecy now fulfilled?

Silence.

Even at that distance, some kind of noise should've been heard from the cottage. Keirn waited, listening for any sign of life. Sighing, he carried an armful of kindling and split logs and began placing it around the outside of the cottage.

Silence.

He knew Brinn would be crossing over to the life hereafter, taking her place amongst the voices guarding her child. He watched for signs of those who searched him, but hadn’t spied anything so far. The voices. They were an indication. Only the star child and the woman carrying her would hear them. It was time for him to do what needed to be done.

So the prophecy had begun...
Last edited by butchiesmom; 04-11-2008 at 12:33 PM. Reason: major changes made
 

Old 04-17-2007, 02:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Wow Gail!
Intriguing to say the least!
Sure hope this continues!

- Tree.
 

Old 04-17-2007, 02:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I've been working on this for 14 years, more in the last six months. It had started with the labor scene but I decided it actually started before this and have been adding to it so it will seem a bit choppy. Please be kind, lol.
 

Old 05-03-2007, 08:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Dear Gail,

In my first reads, I do not concentrate on the tech stuff, as I want to "feel" the story. You have the groundwork for a great story here. I love the incorporation of the "Five Star" concept, as it piqued my interest even more, and anticipation of more.

{{{{{~~~***KIM***~~~}}}}}


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Old 05-04-2007, 02:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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It's not that I concentrate on the technical stuff, but that it distracts me as I'm trying to concentrate on what the author is saying. If I know it's a rough draft of a story or book, I still see the errors I can catch but won't say as much.
I had to keep telling myself not to worry about punctuation and such which helped me to focus on the story more. I'm a creature of some habits I suppose, lol.
hugs,
Gail
 

Old 05-04-2007, 06:21 AM   #6 (permalink)
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LOl, I meant tech stuff in anyone's story that "I" may be reading. I simply was stating what "I" do, when I first read a story, and was not referring to you. Then I go back......So my apologizes.

Yes, mine is just a draft as stated in the beginning. Sorry you really couldn't focus on mine, and had to keep telling yourself not to worry about punctuation and such, due to my myriad of technicalities. It definitely needs a lot of work, as I stated in the beginning, and I intend to work very hard, at getting my story publish ready. I want my story to be published, and welcome any and all advice. I thank you for taking precious time to read and to comment as well.

Not sure about the smiley, if that's a question or statement for me.

Being a creature of habit is a great thing....especially in the art form of writing, and to help others.

The bottom line is we both have the makings of great stories.

Take Care...Kim
Last edited by PaintedDiary; 05-04-2007 at 07:41 AM.
 

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Old 05-04-2007, 07:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Kim, I'm sure you've read some 'finished' work which would make any normal rough draft look ready for publication. I've read some very good work so full of errors, I just copied the whole thing for the review and cut out the good parts.

I know your work and love reading it, so when I read this was a rough draft or shell, I was able to ignore most of what I saw, lol. I'll be at your book signing if you'll be at mine!

Nuff said, lol. As for the smilie, I didn't see the weird thread part, lol. OOOPS!!!!
I don't usually use the smilies, perhaps that's why I don't, lol.

Anyway, misunderstandings aside, we're both damned good writers and are starting fantastic stories in different genres. The only difference between my story and yours is my grandchildren might have to finish mine, lol.

hugs
Gail
 

Old 05-25-2007, 10:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Dear Gail,

I really love this chapter one. Have you decided which one you are going to use? Just gave this an excellent rating!!

Kim
 

Old 05-25-2007, 11:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
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i'm using the other chapter one, i have to replace it will the final? draft. I split it into chapters 1 and 2.
Last edited by butchiesmom; 05-25-2007 at 11:03 PM. Reason: not too bright late at night, lol
 

Old 05-26-2007, 03:30 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quite a different
read, interesting,
enjoy the blend
of old ways and
new times.

Thanks for the
read.
 


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