Miscellaneous:

[alanmdouglas]

Dear Friends,

Another poet challenged us to write poems to the content-linked ads that google puts up on the various pages, so I did. I’ve included the ads to give context. Hope you enjoy.

Love
Alan



The ad :
300 Suspender Designs
Leather, dress, novelty, big/tall travel, kids, women, made in USA
www.suspenderstore.com

The poem :
SUSPEND HER STORE

In face of ad for 300 suspenders
my first thought is - best I surrenders,
and tries at least a little barter
or she’ll have me guts for her 301st garter.



The ad :
Thin Red Line Shirts
Savile Row Quality Formal Shirts All shirts are not equal!
www.thinredline.com

The poem :
SHIRTOFFYOURBACK STAKES
After “To Celia”

Drink to me only with thin red line,
and I will pledge my shirt;
or leave a tip for the Gold Cup,
and I promise not to whine.
The shirt that from the foal doth rise
doth need a trick divine;
though I of jockey's nectar sup,
they should not charge more than 3/9d.



The Ad :
Top Quality suspenders
Men's Suspenders- so unique they're Patented and come in 240 styles
www.suspenders.com

The poem :
SUSPENSE MYSTERY SOLVED

The suspense of spenders
while browsing suspenders
is gruesome indeed to behold

With over two-forty styles
it’ll take quite a whiles
till a single unique pair’s been sold

Should you be caught short
on which part to support
your thingy, or is it yer trews :

Patented ! And unique !
Designed for suspense-geek !
It’s what Scotsmen for under kilts choose !



The ad :
Black Kilts
Black wool gent's kilt. Stand out from the crowd.
www.kiltstore.net

The poem :
BRAVEPART

If anything itches
while you’re in your britches
we’ve the thing that will make you right proud
it’s our even itchier kilt
made from and for the black sheep
who wants to stand out from the crowd ....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

[MsJacquiiC]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by alanmdouglas

The poem :
BRAVEPART

If anything itches
while you’re in your britches
we’ve the thing that will make you right proud
it’s our even itchier kilt
made from and for the black sheep
who wants to stand out from the crowd ....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

hehe - What's going on ALAN - seems you had plenty of crazy fun on your mind when scribing those pieces = just brilliant humor AND breathtaking poetry - well not breathtaking, perhaps draws-taking lol - suspenders will never be looked at quite the same after reading your poetries lOL

OK - on a more serious note - where is it that I may get thing for the black sheep?

Interesting writes indeed = shows your flexibility as a writer - Glad to have such talent on JPiC

Jacquii

ps - thanx for sharing!

[alanmdouglas]

Dear Jacquii,

My goodness, you are very kind, but I must protest, I think you have a whole range of good writers here, and I am proud to be one of them.

I guess the thing for the black sheep would be obtainable at the kiltstore referrenenced in the ad ? Lol. I'm amazed that whoever wrote that blurb did not spot the obvious connections I found.

I'll post more as I write them.

Love
Alan

[PaintedDiary]

Dear Alan

I loved these! Shows us more of your incredible range as an artist. One can tell that you had ....fun scribing these. I, my friend, had allot of fun reading these!! Keep'm comin'!! Thank you for sharing.

Painted Diary aka Kimberly

[alanmdouglas]

Dear Kim,

Thank you very much. If I made you laugh, then I am pleased.

"Incredible range" huh ? Thank you for that.

Love
Alan