Miscellaneous:

[solo]

the pressure
having rendered her
(ruined)
less and less
substantial- she became
light enough
to blow away in the wind
beyond this tortuous world
now seeking
(broken)
a means of becoming more
and more substantial
to survive
the vagaries of the wind
she dances yet
(unmended)
lighter than air
beautifully broken over
the threshold of her dreams

©2008 robynne

[erikestabrook]

welcome here to JPIC,

this poem was very intricate,
I liked many verses here,
but the idea of being light as air wishing to be substancial,
rather I suggest flying if your light as air,

but I understand the metaphor of being lost seemingly faceless,
this poem was susbstancial especially the ending,

thanks for posting

[nomadicrhymer]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by solo

the pressure
having rendered her
(ruined)
less and less
substantial- she became
light enough
to blow away in the wind
beyond this tortuous world
now seeking
(broken)
a means of becoming more
and more substantial
to survive
the vagaries of the wind
she dances yet
(unmended)
lighter than air
beautifully broken over
the threshold of her dreams

©2008 robynne

This is a very lovely piece. It suggests the undertaking of someone who has been hurt trying to mend herself (taking on a non-physical state which would make it more bearable) even though it almost seems hopeless. I also find the style intriguing. It definitely grows on one.

Great piece!

Nomad