Miscellaneous:

[mysticpoet729]

The Brick Wall

There's a brick wall,
all around me.
To keep me away from the poison,
and toxins from the other side,
Nobody could climb over it,
Or brak it down,
The more it becomes tampered,
The bigger and stronger it becomes,
So I feel more secure.
Nobody could get to me.
But sometimes I feel,
The wall is laughing at me.


copyright fsully 2001

[Mysty]

Hiya Fabiola Wonderful idea...... I am gonna give you a few tips to tidy and maybe make it WOW..... Remember though this is just my own humble opinions ....... this is your work and you can use or lose my edits.

There is a brick wall
surrounding me
to keep me away from poisons,
and toxins on the other side.
Nobody can climb over it,
or break it down.
The more it is tampered with,
the bigger and stronger it becomes.
Because of this I feel more secure.
like nobody can get to me...
but sometimes I feel
that the wall is laughing at me.


Just a few ideas.... hope you know it is not meant to hurt but to expand your vision by seeing how someone else can see it. You can use or lose ....


Mysty

[mysticpoet729]

not proble. thanks for the tip.

[Flookyyy]

I like the message in this. And I really like how the last two lines change the mood and feeling of the whole poem.
Good job.

[Amzy]

Oh, Mysty. That is fantastic, and I feel the same way about my employer's firewall.

Why the 2001 copyright?

[nomadicrhymer]

Hi Fabiola - love the concept of the poem - you are protected by your wall, but within that protection is also imprisonment, and I can hear the mockery. Loved it!

Nomad

P.S. Amzy...the copyright is from fsully, not Mysty.