Miscellaneous:

[magglyn]

PROLOGUE

Two families from Takoma
Have fought for years and years
This has led to bloodshed
Tantrums, death and tears
Oh fair city of Takoma
You have seen them come and go
Now Ladies and Gentlemen
Let’s get on with the show

Act 1 Scene 1

The back stage area is fraught with tension
On this glorious opening night
We have to hope that the phantom
Doesn’t cause the performers too much of a fright

Act 1 Scene 2

The phantom was once the lead dancer
With style and grace he glided
Everything was going well
Till with a ballerina he collided
He was performing a simple En arriere
But the trapdoor was left open
He said a swearie en passant
He fell and his neck was broken
Now he haunts the theatre
From the flies, the wings, the pit
But being a ghoul and aged
He’s starting to fall to bits

Act 1 Scene 3

A dancer doing a grand jete
Was most upset when he found
The arm that had dropped off the phantom
Drumming its fingers there on the ground
He tried to change to an Echappes Sautes
But that’s impossible whilst in mid air
His legs crossed his eyes did too
A ripping sound came from his underwear
The phantom had ruined the performance
The dancer never danced again
For he’d landed awkwardly on his cod piece
Now even an a la second brought him too much pain

Act 2 Scene 1

Back to the story we must go
Before we lose the thread
Or possibly the ghostly phantom
Losses his ghoulish head

Act 2 Scene 2

Julia was a winsome wench
Born to high society
Her parents had arranged for her to wed
Milan, a lad born to gentry
Now Julia fancied Milan not a jot
Not an iota, a bit, at all
But her parents were quite adamant
The writing was on the wall
Julia had met a roguish bloke
At a dance, well where else could it be
Though she was one of the Castanets
He was named Romario
From the Castanets he didn’t flee

Act 2 Scene 3

He wore a mask upon his face
So nobody knew who he be
It may seem a little bit tenuous
But this is Ballet darling, you see
The phantom watched the scene from on high
He always wanted to play Romerio
This was because he had no luck with girls
He really wanted to be a lothario
So the phantom let the sand bags go
They fell to the stage with a thud!
Poor Romario was hit on the head
The stage was covered with blood

Act 2 Scene 4

The phantom swooped down to the stage
To catch Julia as she swooned
Did I mention his brain was addled?
He thought it opera, so he crooned
The Director leapt upon the stage
‘Stop this farce I say’!
A voice from the back of the auditorium said
‘We can’t hear from this far away’
‘What did the ghoul say just then’?
‘Was it that he loveth men’?
‘Bugger off’ said the Director
Well it all kicked off right then

Act 3 Scene 1

The balcony scene was abandoned
Wherefore art thou Romerio?
They all knew where he was
He’d been smitten by the blow
Julia took a potion
She thought to end her life
It turned out she’d taken Viagra
She’d have been better using a knife

Act 3 Scene 2

Romario woke upon the stage
He wasn’t really dead
Well, until the phantom seen him
And kicked him in the head
Romerio was done and gone
Julia wept tears of grief
But then the Viagra did kick in
She went with the phantom for relief

EPILOGUE

Julia and the phantom
Copulated the whole day through
And lo inside her belly
A ghoulish baby grew
She’d forgotten about poor Romario
But give the new mother her due
Now she’s changing nappies
And the odd arm or two