Miscellaneous:

[sami87]

yea, now i've heard about her tricks
the things she does, the spots she licks
feel free, why don't you go ahead and linger
you'll see, me slap a bitch you try and bring her

how you can adore such a whore
is almost more than i can take
i see your hand rise up her thighs
while she tried not to be fake

i'd like to break her a new nose
i might we'll see how this night goes

it's almost time for her to browse
a new man that she can arouse
i knew, time would come she'd soon dispense
you blew, just proof it wasn't that intense
i knew, her strong suit wasn't brilliance
you blew, it all with you're persistance

how you can adore such a whore
is amost more than i can take
i see your hand rise up her thighs
while she tries not to be fake

i tried to make you realize
now i just laugh at your demise

[sami87]

hey ppl, i'd really appreciate any feedback anyone has for my 2 posts in here.. thanks a lot

[MsJacquiiC]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by sami87

hey ppl, i'd really appreciate any feedback anyone has for my 2 posts in here.. thanks a lot

Hey Sami - Suggestion: Perhaps you'd care to comment on other Members' writings, sharing the love. Then perhaps that love will be reciprocated. Also - please familiarize yourself with the JPiC Posting Policy - Particularly the Etiquette section which states:

The Following Text Is Quoted:

The "Golden Rule" of online writing communities: Take the time to reply to the posts of your fellow board members. As in any give-and-take relationship - You get back what you put into it... Take the time to show love for others' writing works!

ALSO - If you have yet to do so thus far - Feel free to introduce yourself to the Community over at the Member Introductions section
Jacquii.

[MsJacquiiC]

At anyrate... Definitely a lot of pent-up emotion went into making this poem... I know a lot of people can appreciate such strong-felt emotion - and letting it go through the poetry is always a therapudic way of releasing the steam, rage, jealousy, etc...

I like the repetitive line:

The Following Text Is Quoted:

how you can adore such a whore
is amost more than i can take
i see your hand rise up her thighs
while she tries not to be fake

Lot's of rage in this one. Evidently the emotion that went in to the cheating episode (was it a cheating episode?) has spawned this poem. I do tend to wonder though - What really inspired this write?

Anyway - Welcome to the JPiC Community - Thanx for sharing and hope to see you showing love for other Members' poetry.

Jacquii.