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hello just wanted other writers opinions

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Old 03-05-2008, 03:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
Name: Rueben
Last Online:
03-17-2008 10:45 PM
Default hello just wanted other writers opinions Complex_thought_of_shadow Started This Thread
nightime such a pequliar object in time
it remains the same no matter what nightime is always the dark in which the sun does not show
the cold wind blows and chills to the spine as a feeling lingers in the air it is not a feeling of a simple desciptive nature it is a odd feeling which this night has taken me by suprise it was like a view of my life was momenteraly covered with a small piece of clarity so that i understood not just my life but all life in general.
acompannied by this feeling came a feeling of fear i do not fear much but this feeling was just as the one before it undescrible fear like a pure element compressed into the air to mkae me shiver and cry at the very thougt of it. wispers in the night assure me that i am not alone...
. drawn to me were sights of unfamiliar faces perhaps faces i will one day reconize and put to good sense of what this night was... of all nights all the same
all dark
one moon
one me
and one tempurature
of all those regular nights this one held a more significant meaning to it one which i precive to linger on my mind for years to come...was i ment to see something or understand any of that night or was it just a taunting event meant to torment my mind and leave me in awe of what may not mean a thing just getting its enjoyment from my cluelessness... yes it was one night one night i heard it all and it all made sense.
but for how long....until the next night shall come i await that increadable feeling of perfection in my mind were clearity flourshed and time itsself stood still for that slight second....that bieng said i will always fear that feeling that acompanied it such a horrid negitive feeling that will forever tourture me from one encounter...
all this stands true on my mind until that time
the time ment to come
the time i think that will come
on another night..on the same time with the same moon the same color and the same me....
 

Old 03-07-2008, 12:25 AM   #2 (permalink)
Sammm
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Name: Samantha Pelkey
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03-17-2008 05:55 AM
Default Re: hello just wanted other writers opinions
Hi, I think ur incredibly talented. This is a difficult piece to stop in the middle of once you've started to read it. It really grips you and holds you to it until its finished with you. Def got some spine tingles at some points there. Nice work.
 

Old 03-07-2008, 05:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Name: Kimberly
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Default Re: hello just wanted other writers opinions
And to think you are only 16........You captured my attention from beginning to end...afraid to blink actually. Compelling and a bite that is addictive. I will be back for another read as well. Thank you for sharing this piece!

Kimberly


Never, Never____ Stop Painting Your Diary!!




 

Old 03-15-2008, 04:42 AM   #4 (permalink)
Name: Rueben
Last Online:
03-17-2008 10:45 PM
Default thx Complex_thought_of_shadow Started This Thread
thank u both ur opinions are really great and yeah btw im not 16 yet almost lol just writing is a passion of mine idk i can write various things that was just a random mood i had round midnight but again thank u and i will look into your pieces of writing as well
 


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