Miscellaneous:

[Azekiel-Horizon]

Not a love poem

O loving heartbreak, How terribly enjoyable you are.
My poetry adores a melancholy inspiration.
For it helps to create a painful embrace between loneliness and I.
In Life and Love, when foul is fair, fairytales are taken away.
leaving you only with broken dreams to hold on to.
My fantasy killer was a devilish Eve, that spent everyday hurting me with her Love.
So in return I gave her the man of her dreams wrapped in a nightmare.
All the anguish we cause each other hurt so damn good.
Until finally our hearts couldn't break into anymore pieces.
So we split apart for better and worse.
Now I have a strange nostalgia
for the angry love we made,
the verbal and physical fights we had.
In all those incidents. Sweat was dripping from our bodies,
we yelled at each other,
and we gave a wonderful pain to the other.
We were addicted to screwing each other over.
Our relationship was one orgasm after another,
The two of us always exploded on the other.
O how I yearn to be inside her head again,
so I can manipulate her to let me inside her love box one last time.
Maybe time will heal us and we can be bitter together again,
for I never understood how awfully good our love was until it was over

[butchiesmom]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Azekiel-Horizon

In Life and Love, when foul is fair, fairytales are taken away.

I recognize the truth when I read it.

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Azekiel-Horizon

Now I have a strange nostalgia
for the angry love we made,
the verbal and physical fights we had.
In all those incidents. Sweat was dripping from our bodies, vivid imagery
we yelled at each other,
and we gave a wonderful pain to the other.

I expected this poem to be pornographic especially after I skimmed over it and found orgasm in it and almost transferred it to a different forum because I was concerned about what our younger members would be reading.

I do have a problem with the 'c' word in the title. I think it is one of the most offensive words a person can call a woman.

I'm sure there are some here who can emphasize with some or all of it and as can I. You have instances of quite vivid imagery.

Though I do have issue with part of the title, I found it to be quite good.

Gail

[jakeminick]

"the man of her dreams wrapped in a nightmare"...nice. good poem. something good has to come out of someone constantly challanging you i suppose. peace in the middle east.

[aztek]

The poem is well written and provocative, however, I also find the title offensive. I think the same effect can be created without the use of offensive words even if writers have artistic licence.

[MsJacquiiC]

I can say that I didn't particularly find the title offensive. Of course I cuss like 5 or 6 sailors on a good day. But I take into consideration the author is sharing the malice (if indeed there is any to be taken) equally = douchebag. cunt. Balances out and everything is zen LOL

Anyway - I'm going to read the poem now .............

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Azekiel-Horizon

Maybe time will heal us and we can be bitter together again,
for I never understood how awfully good our love was until it was over

Okay - this was a truly sophistocated expression here. I think the title makes perfect sense actually. I think it would actually be a disservice to the piece if it were entitled anything else. But wow - a riveting and provocative write.

Something I certainly empathize with. This is like my own experience. I sigh at the last 2 lines there. So nostalgically yet pessimistically optimistic at the chances of some reunion, I love the idea of having someone to be bitter with. The lovemaking is always fabulous = bittersweet one could say.

Anyway - great write.

One suggestion if I may - If ever you are in mood for a edit process. Consider this:

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Azekiel-Horizon

My fantasy killer was a devilish Eve, that spent everyday hurting me with her Love.
So in return I gave her the man of her dreams wrapped in a nightmare.
All the anguish we cause each other hurt so damn good.

I love the Adam/Eve references. It's such a compelling bit of madness - to be thrown from paradise, cursed to ______ (fill in the blank...)______.

You only mention Eve though - perhaps you could expand the idea a bit, so the lines quoted above could read such as

The Following Text Is Quoted:

My fantasy killer was the devilish Eve; she spent everyday hurting me with her Love.
And I her crazed Adam bow to present this man of her dreams wrapped in a nightmare.
And together we're trapped in this midnight Eden; oh the anguish.
This anguish we cause each other hurts so damn good.

Maybe? IDK - that may be a bit too obvious lol - anyway - nice write = thanks for the share.

Jacquii.