Miscellaneous:

[Aumakua]

This poem isn't new, i wrote it in the end of January of this year.... sadly, it's a true story. I know the rhyming sucks but that's because i was so full of hate, depression and frustration that it didn't turn out well...


If I died tonight,
Would anyone care?
Because as far as I can see,
No one's even aware,

Sure they know I'm a cutter,
And once, they did care,
They even stopped me from committing suicide,
But I know those thoughts just aren't there,

My dad called me a psycho,
My sister calls me a freak,
My friends dont show the same interest they once did,
And inside I'm so incredibly weak,

I'm not going to lie to you,
They talk and ask, "What's New?"
But can they just not see,
That soon my life might be through?

If I died tonight,
How long would it take to forget my name?
School, friends, family, and fun,
I'll just be another picture on the wall of shame,

If I died tonight,
Or maybe that "if" should be a "will,"
As I lay on the bathroom floor,
Blood from my wrists will continue to spill,

Would my dad still think I'm a psycho?
Will my sister still call me a freak?
Will my friends completely lose interest?
Or would they stay up, unable to sleep?

Will I commit suicide,
If things keep getting worse?
How long will I be able to stand,
On lifes cruel course?

I keep sinking into the dark,
Alone more and more,
Still I do cut,
I can't even answer "what for?"

I've become so very interested,
I keep staring at my wrists,
My mind keeps calling,
For that razorblades kiss,

How long can I keep this urge,
Down at bay?
A time will come when I will give in,
And suicide will come my way,

If I died tonight,
Would you even care?
Because as far as I can see,
You not even aware..

[Bear]

Aumakua it speaks volumes all I can do is send you a hug with the hopes that maybe poetry can replace those feeling for cutting if you ever need to chat just send me a PM and Ill sit and chat with you
hugs kisses
bear

[Mysty]

Dear dear Riha..... so sad that you have this deep depression and no one notices. There is help. And don't lie and say you don't feel anything. Your cutting... that is a way to keep you from feeling the pain inside. If you hurt on the outside you won't feel the inside. I know. Now let me tell you hon... Everyone... I mean EVERYONE has feelings inside that they are not worthy, not loved, alone, lonely...etc. I have BEEN there and now I am not .. I am a stronger person inside because I discovered the secret to my own happiness. Everyone could do that too. It takes intense self focus... not the outer but inner focus. Honey you are a beautiful young vibrant person.... you do have so many positives .... you need to realize .. they are the only important things. The negatives like your dad calling you a psycho... your sis calling you a freak.. Those are negatives.. you need to stand up and tell them "I AM A GOOD PERSON!! And I am NOT gonna take this abuse any longer!" Anyone who disses you.... you need to either walk away from or tell off. It is your own Mental health and physical health at risk if you continue on the path you are on in this poem. I fear for you hon. Just think ... what a beautiful talent the world would miss. Because you DO have talent hon. This poem though rough is So very very good. It brings people into the focus of your pain. Anytime You want to talk hon.... IM me here and I will answer.

*Hugs*

Mysty

[nomadicrhymer]

Riha...the world would mourn, deep in it's bowels...the kinetic waves of emotion that connects each and every one of us on this earth would splinter for the loss of you. The great heart and the huge emotional well that you dip from to bring this awesome poetry to us would dry up and we...and those that don't even know...would be the lesser for it. "If I died tonight"...as Mysty...said...is something that goes through so many of our minds...it is a little gruesome but not unnatural to think it...I think it's a natural part of being human, and being unloved at times, to wonder what if....What I think is that you should love yourself enough...and more...show them all what and who you really are...you are a wonderful soul trapped in a body that's in the wrong place, but you can rise above it...we have all been young and been there, well most of us anyway. I feel that sometimes there are mountains in front of us we need to climb to find out who we really are....giants to slay...all for a reason...but how can we find out if we don't just keep toiling to reach the top?

You have found a family here that loves you...not for what you look like, but for who you are...which I feel that we can see more clearly when it's not clouded by a face and a body...the real you that screams out from inside and so brilliantly shines light into OUR lives with your words. There are no words to tell you the greatness that we see.

Nomad

[JolieH]

Riha,
As your sister in this family I call you Poetess. I'm sure there must be someone just like you who needs your help in the future. The only way you can save her is to save yourself. Write for her with all your strength. You must tell her how to be strong and how much you love her. You may be the only person who can reach her. You may be the only person in the world that understands her.

Many famous writers and artists suffer from depression, melancholia, schizophrenia. I can't give you medical advice because I'm not a doctor, but I have searched for answers to emotions that are so devastating to my soul. I remember once I felt like my heart protruded from my chest like a mountain, where others pounded with hammers, built homes, bragged about their perfect lives, their vibrant personalities. If I even spoke of my pains they called me names. She is crazy, must have some mental illness. But, I knew I didn't. They made me want to die. So, I searched for others with the same emotions. I found them in the artists and writers. That's why I love them all so much.

Walt Disney, Ernest Hemingway, - both schizophrenia, there's tons of them, Michelangelo, melancholia.

I know they all suffered pain at times, but I think it's that pain that gives us deeper understanding. Maybe it's a dark scary road your on that others haven't traveled, at least the ones your trying to explain to. There are others lost out there, and you can comfort them. They can comfort you. Maybe they are all parts of you. Maybe they are the artists and writers of future and of past.

As a poetess, words are the material of your craft. Use them wisely, edit you heart and soul. Did you read the Friedrich Nietzsche quote on my signature? He understands. Your heart is dancing Riha, and they don't hear the music. If Friedrich wrote about cutting his wrists, the people would have called him crazy. They probably did once or twice.
He might not have reached fame had he not learned to use the words, so the people couldn't call him names. Be strong, and your words will build bridges over those pits. One day you'll sit atop that bridge and admire the view below. You'll see someone standing there ready to jump.

[Aumakua]

Thanks for the comments, i read them all seriously paying attention and they help ^^

[missc]

this was a very interesting read. I have seen many stories about cutters. I hope you are better now.