Moths - Poetry in Color Forum
Register Members List JPiC Blogs Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read JPiC Newsletter

Go Back   Poetry in Color Forum > Poetic Colours > Miscellaneous
JPiC Forum Chatbox
Chatbox Disabled For Your Usergroup...
* You must be logged in to view and use the JPiC Chatbox!
Recent JPiC Forum Posts
Newest Announcements/Admin Notes
 

Moths

Thread Information: This thread has 5 replies and has been viewed 452 times
 
Social Bookmarks Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-12-2007, 04:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
Sleepyholic
Yuuko's Avatar
Name: Luiza
Last Online:
01-20-2012 05:30 PM
Default Moths Yuuko Started This Thread
From across the hall, she hears the noise of cracking knuckles,

Staggers a bit more in this wrong place, at this wrong hour...

With scary, black butterflies buzzing at the light bulbs,

And the sound of broken ribs will soon pick up the featuring...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~


Drops of blood will follow him around and a quick kiss at the back of his neck

Will send him upwards to the sky and straight into her tight embrace....

Her scent will force him to come to a halt and shivers will start running down his spine....

Her callous fingers will push him forward...'till she's thrust through him

*Drip* *Drip*.....He looks down...loses his balance

And he's positive that's not maple syrup leaking out of him...

"Payback's a bitch.” He utters disappointed,

While the winged figure finally steals his last breath.
We thought of ourselves as humans in a world of cats and dogs and way better would have been for us if we weren’t so naïve…
It’s possible that we could’ve been wrong about the longitude and latitude of the place in which we found ourselves…
Or maybe the kitties were the ones misleading us….But why should we stress anymore?
Lets take another smoke and afterwards carry our heavy steps to the dream like possibilities of the drawing from which we have torn off some time ago
Last edited by Yuuko; 09-13-2007 at 10:45 AM.
 

Old 09-12-2007, 06:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
Moderator
erikestabrook's Avatar
erikestabrook's Mood:
Last Online:
12-02-2011 01:54 AM
Default Re: Moths
so I guess this'd be the mothman from the Mothman prophecies?
thats the only one I know thats that evil,
cool poem
---------------------------

Erik Estabrook

www.erikestabrook.com
 

Old 09-12-2007, 10:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Moderator
nomadicrhymer's Avatar
Name: Therese
Gender: Female
Location: Claremont, CA
nomadicrhymer's Mood:
Last Online:
04-05-2012 11:54 AM
Default Re: Moths
Scary...WAS it the Mothman? Otherwise I'm confused at who was doing the killing.

...it almost seems like a Praying Mantis....maybe?

quick kiss at the back of his neck
Will send him upwards to the sky and straight into her tight embrace....


Very well written and entertaining...riveting and mesmerizing even!!

Nomad

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
 

Old 09-13-2007, 12:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
Banned
Name: David Graf
zaac's Mood:
Last Online:
01-31-2012 04:50 PM
Default Re: Moths
that was different in a really twisted way

zaac
 

Old 09-14-2007, 05:27 AM   #5 (permalink)
Sleepyholic
Yuuko's Avatar
Name: Luiza
Last Online:
01-20-2012 05:30 PM
Default Re: Moths Yuuko Started This Thread
Thanks for reading it/dropping a comment *grins*
As for the mothman reference, you could take it other way....
In the 10-15 minutes in which I wrote it...I thought it like "guy kills girl, girl gets revenge with the help of vengeful creature" - the winged creature coming as impersonal in contrast with all the "she&he actions" .....It's ambiguous anyway...
 

Old 09-14-2007, 04:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
Miss Understood
MsJacquiiC's Avatar
Name: Jacquii Cooke
Gender: Female
Location: In a cloud of smoke.
MsJacquiiC's Mood:
Last Online:
Yesterday 06:05 PM
Default Re: Moths
That was so vividly depressing LOL - A very dark poem indeed - Not getting the symblance of the Moth - or why you entitled the poem moth - but I sure want mothballs after reading this one, as it's scary scary and more scary in an interestingly pessimistic way.

Interesting write YUUKO

Jacquii.



“I do use powerful words to evoke emotion, but also to stimulate imagination. If one can 'see' the words dance before
his eyes - then he can likely feel, smell and even taste them as well. And I do thoroughly enjoy really tasty poems.
My poetry is an emotions-fest sprinkled with a little garlic salt, Mrs. Dash, fresh ginger and Tabasco sauce...
My poetry is like a piece of General Tso's chicken tossed in ghetto soul.” ---
MsJacquiiC



JacquiiCooke.com | Poetica Magnifique
Professional Web & Graphic Design Services
GreetingsGalleryOnline | Beautifully Free e-Cards


You REALLY Like Us? ==> Support JPiC with a donation or Purchase a premium membership

 

Visit Our Friends

JPiC Portal > Main Forum Index > Poetic Colours > Miscellaneous

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



Navigation
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:11 AM.
GreetingsGalleryOnline.com

Powered by vBulletin® gets JPiCans scribing.
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Some Custom Pages Using vBAdvanced CMPS