Miscellaneous:

[MsJacquiiC]

Origami Secret

Birds in Spring don't smell
like lilacs.

Their shells crack
when you whisper "I love you" wrong.

Their throne is delicate and their wings
like paper origami.

Their sense of urgency
is the Mulatta fiending freedom's secret.

Yes their wings: origami secrets.

And though I amble, deliciously poeting;
paper & pen of borrowed-cap fame,

mine own camera capturing the thievery
of their caged-bird essence,

I refuse to whistle their song.
And I refuse to whistle their song.

Yay! That I know the
caged-bird in his ultimate and unending beauty.

He is only I, and I: an origami secret.



Copyright © 2007 Jacquii Cooke

[erikestabrook]

yes got here before Kim,

awesome poem msJ,

I love the third and fourth verses

[PaintedDiary]

[QUOTE=MsJacquiiC;17800] Origami Secret



Their shells crack
when I whisper "I love you" wrong.

Their thrown is delicate and their wings
like paper origami.

Yes their wings: origami secrets.

mine own camera capturing the thievery
of their caged-bird essence,

I refuse to whisper their song.
And I refuse to whistle their song.

Yay! That I know the
caged-bird in his ultimate and unending beauty.

He is only I, and I: an origami secret.


Copyright © 2007 Jacquii Cooke

Dear Ms Jacquii ,

This is a journey woven in a canvas that is interpersonal. What I have highlighted jumps out like a moth to a flame. The beauty of the word origami has so many layers in this piece, yet I feel this word is the very building block for the entire poem. The wings are made, shaped, tested, and observed. You gave the caged-bird hope, life, and beauty and no inhibition in this, and that is a clever twist. That last line speaks volumes, and one is proud, no longer have to be shy, and can strut a long knowing a beautiful secret. This was deliciously abstract, and appealed to all my senses in every way. I loved it. I may not have honed in on the true message, however, I can "feel" it. Awesome write Ms Jacquii.

~~~~KIM~~~~:< (@

[MsJacquiiC]

Thank you very much ERIK & KIM for reading and responding to my "spur of the moment" poem. I actually wrote this poem last week... I edited it just the other day and I am quite fond of this poem, as it is a bit of a secret into myself

At anyrate - I sure thank you for you kind comments

Jacquii.

[nomadicrhymer]

Ms. J! This seems a superbly descriptive ramble of the delicate psyche...I would add "ditto" to PD's comments as well as, my very favorite of all the lines - which seemed to reach out and drag me fluidly into the moment...

I amble, deliciously poeting;

Would that I could ramble, deliciously poeting, for the rest of my days...it sounds so idyllic, as on a soft, warm breezy afternoon in late July, walking by the river, pondering under the weeping willow...quietly, or even loudly, all alone...just poeting!

Awesome!!

Nomad

[mistyllspoetry]

You used some really nice words on this poem. I enjoyed ;-)

[MsJacquiiC]

Thanx you very much LADIES for your comments - I actually just correct a spelling error in the 3rd stanza... I misspelled "throne" - had it spelled "thrown" LOL

At anyrate - I certainly appreciates the love MS N & MISTY - I'm glad you enjoyed the poem!

Jacquii.

[Altree94]

Simply beautiful, MsJ! The depth to this work is truly tantalizing.
I think you have captured and displayed for us a little bit of the inner "you".
Layer upon layer with twists and turns, secrets we cannot know but we see the beautiful end result of the intricate origami bird (you) who refuses to be caged.
An awesome write!
- Tree.

[Jeez]

As writers... haven't
we all got origami
wings????

This is very deep
and emotional.

Thanks for the
read.

[MsJacquiiC]

Thanx very much MS TREE AND JEN for reading and commenting - yep - this poem is an inner "reflection" of sorts and I'm glad you both like! 'Tis also a deep vybe that I wanted to portray, as chicks sometimes don't get their due

Lovely comments LADIES

Jacquii.