Miscellaneous:

[Lane]

I`m not to good at this, but I try..

Recluse

I met someone with no hearing..
She placed Her hand upon My guitar,
a hand upon my throat.

She smiled at the silly songs,
and as I went on, steadied Her touch,
and the music played on.

Though sorrow floats between hand and Souls
there is no mourning.
She understood, as it came to and end...
tomorrow`s ash...

The scent only wanders in my mind
not the halls and rooms where once prevalent...She is not there.
but the music, the music rises.
I felt the cool eagerness, and rhythm of Her touch
hopelessly listening as She.. and would redeem nothing more.

I lay flat and still upon the ground,
in that time that was not measured or counted
I misplaced the language, not hearing another man`s words.
The hungry light stings paled eyes,
and the music..the music plays on.

"question my abilities..never my heart"

© Copyright 2011 Vincent

[MsJacquiiC]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Lane

The scent only wanders in my mind
not the halls and rooms where once prevalent...She is not there.
but the music, the music rises.
I felt the cool eagerness, and rhythm of Her touch
hopelessly listening as She.. and would redeem nothing more.

...

"question my abilities..never my heart"

Hey Lane - I love the intimacy you have with your music in this piece. I'm a connoisseur of all types of music. A classically trained tubist I am. So I know this intimacy well.

The stanza I quoted above is nice, likely my favorite. It's really makes apparent how music has the power to touch one in a special way. The last line of this 4th stanza, however, kinda left me hanging.. I guess it's supposed to be a moment of expectation, but what was expected didn't happen... IDK. It's worded a little oddly for me.

The very last line of the poem is brilliant. A little unexpected actually. "Question my abilities perhaps, but never question my heart!" I love this as my mantra of the moment.

Anyway - this made for a nice read = thanks for sharing!

Jacquii.

[Lane]

your way to kind to me, there are some good thoughts I try to get them all working together...lol
I`ll get better! thank you for commenting. Lane

[jakeminick]

nice piece. i like the original flow of imagery. from her hand to your throat; to the future, to the past swimming through your head and vibrating back out your throat. and there seems to be a sense of all this between the both of you but then, hitting a wall of language. the title doesn't seem to fit very well but, maybe i just don't get it.

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by Lane

The hungry light stings paled eyes

is that a metaphor for the desire of communication between the both of you? anyway, cool write. i read it like 4 times trying to get it and, i don't always care enough to do that.

[MsJacquiiC]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by jakeminick

The Following Text Is Quoted:

The hungry light stings paled eyes

is that a metaphor for the desire of communication between the both of you?

I was wondering about this as well.
Definitely interested in the answer to this.
The way I read it though - I was thinking metaphorically about sheet music on the stand with a light shined upon it for the musician to read.

Anyway - yes! Good question - what IS "The hungry light stings paled eyes" a metaphor for...?