Miscellaneous:

[TrueBlue]

Sometimes you're just a little bit more dead
Than before
I thought all of my life was a long slow knife
Oh how wrong I was I didn't know
And I didn't know what I was living and
What I was hiding for
Now I know, O now I know
Yeah I didn't know things could get this low
Yeah it wounds me at the core

Once I was proud, now I concede from shame
All the hate I feel is what I sew
As the wind will not blow aways these feelings
Daily unto nightly nightmares, it goes
From watching the news broadcast obituary refrains,
I am all over the place, entangled by my fears, these feelings almost insane
I acquiesce

So involved in my self righteous pain
I am trapped inside myself
I quietly smile when it rains
In my melancholy castle I do dwell
As all of time seems to begin and to end
Happy in my sadness, the pit into which I fell

To fix this world? I am lame, and it hurts so
And in this disposition I remain
Because it's not really hell
I read Edgar Allan Poe

And you know I like to keep my teenage tragedy
To me that's the way it's got to be, yeah that's how it was
To be outcast, to hurt, to need, to know how to be alone,
To drink, to forget it, to get a buzz
Yes I feel a fuzz -- I cannot condone

Somehow back then we all fit in together
But, time, our friendships could not weather
We all went into the world!
But no it's not sad
O, it's not so bad
I won't cry any tears

But - O, my lover, - don't say no! That's the end of the world
I have lived for you for years
If never I know your embrace
I will drown away from my peers
I might as well enter the war
I might give away my life to chores
I might as well never again think of myself
I might as well burn my art, break my bookshelves
Eat my hat, and live under a bridge
Because no worthy life that will be

Sometimes I feel just a little bit more dead
But don't give up on my love

I have been living for your embrace

[PaintedDiary]

Dear True,

Sometimes you're just a little bit more dead
Than before

How clever, how true, how many can relate. I got very misty-eyed in reading this. I just wanted to reach out, give you you a big ol' hug, and say, it is ok. I believe, this was written during those tormented years in turmoil. Very poignant, the subject matter, how painful the experience, how non-existant, I feel in your poetry at times. I love this also because despite this emotional roller coaster, you have a message that is LOUD AND CLEAR!!!!!

But - O, my lover, - don't say no! That's the end of the world
I have lived for you for years
If never I know your embrace
I will drown away from my peers
I might as well enter the war
I might give away my life to chores
I might as well never again think of myself
I might as well burn my art, break my bookshelves
Eat my hat, and live under a bridge
Because no worthy life that will be

Sometimes I feel just a little bit more dead
But don't give up on my love

This was such a profound last stanza!!!!! I almost can see that as being the love of your higher being that you believe in, self-love, and the love of your lover (in the sense of the traditional meaning). True do you have a book, or published, if not, are you in the process? I would like to purchase your book. If you do not have one yet, consider me one of your biggest supporters!!! SMILE!!!!

Luv Ya'......Painted

[Poetic*Freedom]

"I am trapped inside myself"
>NICE!...I'm luvin' the word choice!....

"To be outcast, to hurt, to need, to know how to be alone,
To drink, to forget it, to get a buzz
Yes I feel a fuzz"
>the sad story of oh so many!- drink away the pain!....but this actually made me smile a lil'...lol!....

all in all..a very nice piece- as in the beginning' I thought you were givin' up on life- but then could it be that you are in "love"?!....whatever it is- you expressed it thooughly, great word choice, and just :O.....keep doin' what you do!....

[erikestabrook]

Wow I never thought I'd find soemthing similar to what I'm writing about now,
borderline dark imagery, but mostly summing up a plight very good very full of hope yet still hopeless I think it had good nagles i would like it however too be purer in this sense no romantiscism just get down to teh root of your fear, hoplessness, disillusion ment thats what I'm doing

[MsJacquiiC]

Hey PAUL - this piece is nicely constructed - the rhythm seems to demand a toe-tapping of sorts. I'm liking the emotion that went into writing this piece. The end was sort of a surprise, as I didn't know you were really calling to a lover for such understanding and loyalty...

That aside - there's so many things I like about this writing. It has an "old english" feel to it - if you will... Just the way the words so fall into place - not unlike the "pit" you speak of:

As all of time seems to begin and to end
Happy in my sadness, the pit into which I fell
AND
Because no worthy life that will be

But the emotion speaks volumes.
But - O, my lover, - don't say no! That's the end of the world
I have lived for you for years
If never I know your embrace
I will drown away...

Somehow - I don't think you acquiese, fade away into the wind like so many pieces of ash... No I don't think you do that. Seems you have much to strive for -----> I almost heard a tear in the beckoning "O Lover..." So much to strive for - 'Tis not love that's the dream.

Hope that makes sense LOL
Thanx for sharing though PAUL - very nice poem!

Jacquii.

[Altree94]

This is great! At first I thought it was going to be all gloom and doom but your 6th stanza added a spark of hope to it that made it a very enjoyable read. Loved that last line in the 4th too - I read Edgar Allan Poe - a simple line that conveys a lot, as does the line "happy in my sadness". Fantastic!