Miscellaneous:

[magglyn]

The phone bills through the ceiling, I can’t afford to pay
I’ll get the damn thing disconnected I’ll phone the supplier today

“Good morning Sir, can I help you?” said the girl from Tele-co
“I’d like to discuss the cost of your calls” (not letting my anger show)
“Let me take your details, I’ll look into it right away”
The girl sounded so helpful I thought this my lucky day
“As I look upon my screen Sir” sang the angelic voice
“I can see you owe us for two months, how would like to pay?”

“This account should be paid by my missus, she ran up the bill”
“Be that as it may sir, you’ve an obligation to fulfil
You signed upon the dotted line, you agreed to all conditions
Now you tell us you can’t pay and you’re on your way to perdition”
“I think sir ought to pay his bill, right now without delay
If sir can’t afford to clear this debt how can he afford a holiday?”

By this time I had lost control, good cheer and common sense
I’d had enough of this whining bint I jumped down from the fence
“It wasn’t me who talked for hours I DID NOT MAKE THE CALLS”
“Be that as it may sir, we’ve got you by the balls”

“Will it be a cash payment, cheque or credit card?”
“We don’t want to take you to court sir the fines can be quite large”
“Now listen to me carefully, I have had enough”
“Oh now sir you bastard we’re going to cut you off!”

Well that was it the phone was dead and useless in my hand
I would not pay them a ha’penny let them sue me and be damned
As I sit and write this I admit I’m in a bit of a hole
The judge he gave me 6 months without a chance of parole

[Mysty]

LOL Stuart ..... you have a delightful sense of humor... I find I am quite enjoying reading your work. Always done with a humorous element. Well to me it is ... I mean to a man paying the bills it may not be funny. I can laugh because I am a female paying the mortgage and car loan. Loved this one : )

Mysty