Revisions:

[mangodroplet]

haha finally got it in here...
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As rays of dying sunlight hit the trees,
and birds fly from long hunting to their nests,
the air turns still as night starts to progress,
and from dark hidden cracks the shadows flee.

The creatures scurry fast away from Death
as Darkness creeps along the forest floor.
They scamper from the subtle, quiet roar
of its slow noxious, mortifying breath.

Within the night of shrouds when they have flight,
the mist entwines and makes a milky sea,
The entities of beings sight unseen,
make ready for the war in Dark or Light.

Now all seems that the Dark may rule the land,
as nowhere can the light be found to keep.
And Darkness comforts in its reign of sleep,
when resting seems to be the main command.

But as the Dark is happy in its rule,
the Light makes small encroaches in the realm.
It creeps along the earth, with it's gray helm,
relying on the hope that Dark is fool.

The Light delivers Hope to those inside
who lay awake imprisoned in the Dark.
It starts to wake the almost dim, lost spark
of being free, where all is great and wide.

And quick! The Light bursts from its hiding holes!
An epic battle starts as spirits clash!
Throughout the Dark and brush the Light must slash!
And all will fight to keep their moral souls.

The birds succeed to screech the Dark away,
and as the Dark has reigned upon the land,
the Light will too create a throne as planned,
for domination of the night and day.

But as the humans do not learn the Past,
and know that Past repeats itself in time,
they go on thinking that all is sublime,
while danger comes as they running fast.

So Light and Dark again will battle soon
and life will follow this old, long-sung tune.



(ok, i've been working on this, and the highlighted stanzas are the ones I have been able to work on so far, i'll make the rest follow that same structure)
*UPDATE* I finally finished all the stanzas. hope you like them...but still, i need help!!!!)

`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thanks for taking the time to read and help revise it!
Take into mind that this is a blank verse and if some of my words are awkward, it is my inexperienced self trying to keep to the iambic pentameter.
If you see a better word placing there, please tell me, or else just tell me where it is awkward so i can try to make it flow better.
thanks a lot!
~mango~

[Jeez]

This is interesting...

The third stanza needs to
be opened up some...

it feels a little heavy to
me????

' could be wrong????

Still... this is very nicely
done...

and it 's content made me
feel as if we were in
that night and day life.

Thanks for the
read.

[erikestabrook]

heres the dilema its an epic epics are extremely long traditionally I lik ethe beginning verses the best choose one length of a battle described our shortness of a poem describing words like in the beginning that smy full-hearted opinion

[mangodroplet]

but see, i'm not calling THIS poem an Epic, I'm calling it the Epic of Life.

:]

I had sartor tell me the exact thing...haha

[erikestabrook]

lol wel we're both right and sartors done poetry much longer than me