Revisions:

[PaintedDiary]

Little brown girls' Mothers
watching them hurl,
pieces of weave in the wind:
"Flow with me,
hear my words of poetry..."

I.

About a little brown girl's,
journey from tragedy to spirituality.

Must love thyself unconditionally,
misty mirrors foresee,
chocolate candy sisters,
yearning amour propre; yet lonely.

Witness illusive vanilla images,
exquisite nappy hair,
adorned with caramelized sugar skin,
_____they envy.

Some little brown girls walk straight lines,
flossin' crooked shoes,
some fitted for a junkie,
bare brown feet often decorate a gurney.

Enslaved by euphoria induced consequences,
of ganja and cocoa leaves,
tainted dreams, tears savor salty__and all of twenty.

"Little brown girls hear my bawdry words,
of what misty mirrors foresee..."

Love has no boundary when testing the sea,
naive appetite copious,
not choosy.


II.

HIV, a baby?, some labeled doxy
possible life changes, taken vaguely,
hear what your story could be.

A little brown girl's search for love,
was practiced dangerously,
she didn’t ask any of them, if germ free.

He said little brown girl was fine and sexy,
beautiful words to a little brown girl,
who is looking for any kind of love,
not a love that is deserving.

"Damn!" Little brown girl said,
"He looks to good, to be sickly!".

He said he was freaky,
said, "No love here Baby Girl, cause this "fuck" is free",
as he fucked her with his goatee,
got in it, took about a minute,
was over quickly.

He didn’t look in her eyes to see,
her love ripped painstakingly.
said he didn’t love her,
said "Thanks Baby Girl, now I got more pussy to sightsee!"

Why? Little brown girl’s love wasn’t stingy,
made her crazy…..that his love was,
only applied superficially.

Little brown girl screams,
"Am I not shapely_____enough!"
As she missed meals,
chasin’ lily model stereotype beauty.


III.

Misty mirror speaks wisdom loudly,
reflects back, her hair beautifully bushy,
blood purged,
no longer dirty,
pumps softly in every capillary.

Soul thirsts whispers from pedigree,
little brown girl’s body metamorphosed from HIV,
her intellect says study; maybe write a thesis,
for a degree.

Eventually….. her diary unfolds a story,
of a little brown girl’s life worth living,
education replenished, not from strangers,
but from loving family members,
who never stopped looking,
for their little brown girl,
faces reality of a positive result____yet surviving.

From African desert painted women in her family,
from every shade of wisdom____breathtaking.

Now, a brown woman, as strong as the Sequoia,
makes love that tastes of myrrh and honey,
Speaks proudly, "Know thyself is a gift given preciously,
not to a false image, but created in the image of Adam’s Eve".

IV.

"Little brown girls hear my bawdry words,
of what misty mirrors foresee..."

Misty mirror teaches a lesson_____ clearly,
the spoken words of little brown girls' tainted memories.

[MsJacquiiC]

The Following Text Is Quoted:

from every shade of wisdom____breathtaking.

Now, a brown woman, as strong as the Sequoia,

1 comment: Simply exquisite editing process has this poem seen! I'd place this one in the final revisions right away MS KIM!

Keep us updated on your submission process, as I am very excited to see this one in print!

Very well done - The quoted above sums up your poem very lovely - I'm glad to have been a part of your revision process! LOVELY LOVELY write!

Thanx for sharing it with us!

Jacquii.

[PaintedDiary]

Thank you sooo much Ms Jacquii for helping me evolve this piece to a piece that is publisher ready. I could not have done it without you. As I have said, you are my inspiration, and the reason I paint liquid words with a sable prayer once again. Much Luv and Many Hugs.....

Kim

[PaintedDiary]

Thank you Ms Jacquii. I currently am working on the compliment to this "Little Brown Boys", and will submit both. I will keep you posted, and thanks again!!!

Painted

[erikestabrook]

Kim this was excellent,
I was thinking this seems much more seasoned,
allot of thought i can tell takes place in this,
sounds really like Maya Angelou

[PaintedDiary]

Dear Erik,

I am humbled by your response. I am so grateful you took precious time to read and comment. Ya know what's funny? Believe it or not some time ago Maya gave a lecture at West Chester University, we talked afterwards, and she gave me that name of her agent, and said, "Chil'....you got God's gift!", please write my agent,,,and I did not. I was frozen with fear! I guess I missed my calling!!! I have been writing for 33 years!!!!!LOL!!!! Yeah...since I was 10, with the occasional hiatus, neverless, for that long! Thank you so much again Erk.

{{{{~~**Painted**~~}}}}

[erikestabrook]

thats longer than I've been alive,
well it shows in this one at least,

[erikestabrook]

wow that sounds so awesome yeah you really missed yoru break,
but you know you could've missed it for a reason your probably more focused and ready now

[PaintedDiary]

Yeah, you are right Erik, thank you again. LOL!!!

[ronn55]

I've made this observatin and comment before. We were made in God's image innocent and blessed and then we grow up selfish, greedy, unsure of what love is. Grabbing moments of pleasure to ease the pain reality has set in. You give of yourself here and there and before you know it there's very little left if any. What God meant for blessing I used for my own reasons. So now I sit here in a repentent state. Now knowing the way I do, this is one path I dare to tread again.