Lines of Perception - Poetry in Color Forum
Register Members List JPiC Blogs Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read JPiC Newsletter

Go Back   Poetry in Color Forum > Shades Of Fiction > Short Stories
JPiC Forum Chatbox
Chatbox Disabled For Your Usergroup...
* You must be logged in to view and use the JPiC Chatbox!
Recent JPiC Forum Posts
Newest Announcements/Admin Notes
 

Lines of Perception

Thread Information: This thread has 5 replies and has been viewed 1018 times
Like Tree3Likes
  • 3 Post By jakeminick

 
Social Bookmarks Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-22-2011, 01:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
McGonagall's Ghost
jakeminick's Avatar
Age: 29 | Gender: Male
jakeminick's Mood:
Last Online:
Yesterday 12:51 PM
Default Lines of Perception jakeminick Started This Thread
He krept off the road and gently shuffled through the grass up to the fence, still wheezing from the narrow escape. The smell of cut grass overtaking a vapor of liquor and coke, as he flipped over the fence (apparently made from two by fours and wire). Ducking down in the sandy yard he scanned the area with periodic twitches. No lights on. Wooden stairs leading to the screened in porch of a trailer. A place to hide and think of what to do next. He tip toed to the placid porch and slid up the door hook with the dripping butterfly knife he had stolen from Martinez a few days ago. He sat down on the floor against the trailer wall in the darkness and wondered. Was Martinez one of them? If not, he's dead. The skin was so cold and scaly. It must have been the Jamaican Musk that disrupted their shifting abilities. How the fuck is this possible? She was so warm and coaxing. Almost slithering with her...A shudder ran from his loins, and up through his spine as he re-experienced her skin shift. The repeated plunging of blade as she hissed in mid mutation. The others instinctively enclosed on me. I saw their slimy faces. I barely escaped with my life. Was that coke or P.C.P.?...
 

Old 05-24-2011, 01:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
Miss Understood
MsJacquiiC's Avatar
Name: Jacquii Cooke
Gender: Female
Location: In a cloud of smoke.
MsJacquiiC's Mood:
Last Online:
Yesterday 06:05 PM
Default Re: Lines of Perception
So you were tripping balls eh? LOL
Nice write though - I liked the feeling of anticipation throughout. Applause for doing a little something different!



“I do use powerful words to evoke emotion, but also to stimulate imagination. If one can 'see' the words dance before
his eyes - then he can likely feel, smell and even taste them as well. And I do thoroughly enjoy really tasty poems.
My poetry is an emotions-fest sprinkled with a little garlic salt, Mrs. Dash, fresh ginger and Tabasco sauce...
My poetry is like a piece of General Tso's chicken tossed in ghetto soul.” ---
MsJacquiiC



JacquiiCooke.com | Poetica Magnifique
Professional Web & Graphic Design Services
GreetingsGalleryOnline | Beautifully Free e-Cards


You REALLY Like Us? ==> Support JPiC with a donation or Purchase a premium membership

 

Old 05-24-2011, 07:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
McGonagall's Ghost
jakeminick's Avatar
Age: 29 | Gender: Male
jakeminick's Mood:
Last Online:
Yesterday 12:51 PM
Default Re: Lines of Perception jakeminick Started This Thread
thanks jacquii. no, that's what i came up with sober. could've took a little more time on it i guess. if i was tripping though, it would've probably been way too detailed with no direction at all. something like reptiles entering the minds of humans and strangling their inner child with a business tie, chuckle. thanks for the likes!
 

Old 05-26-2011, 08:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
Moderator
nomadicrhymer's Avatar
Name: Therese
Gender: Female
Location: Claremont, CA
nomadicrhymer's Mood:
Last Online:
04-05-2012 11:54 AM
Default Re: Lines of Perception
Nice write. I was trying to figure out what was going on... aliens? Murder? Definitely had me guessing...

Nomad

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
 

Old 02-14-2012, 02:23 PM   #5 (permalink)
JPiC Premium VIP Member
butchiesmom's Avatar
Name: Gail
butchiesmom's Mood:
Last Online:
04-17-2012 03:49 PM
Default Re: Lines of Perception
Wow, a bit of fantasy manufactured by too much chili the night before...that's what would've caused one of my nightmare scenarios.

I actually love any kind of fantasy but mutating characters are one of my favorites. You said much with so little. I read this wondering why he had trouble getting over the fence and to the house, what was dripping off his knife and who he was hiding from. You had me from the first sentence to the last word.

I would love to see where this leads and ends.

Loved it
Gail

May You Fly with Eagles
Run with Wolves
Walk with Buffalos
and
Always be my Friend
 

Old 02-15-2012, 07:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
McGonagall's Ghost
jakeminick's Avatar
Age: 29 | Gender: Male
jakeminick's Mood:
Last Online:
Yesterday 12:51 PM
Default Re: Lines of Perception jakeminick Started This Thread
thank you. i was just kind of taking a stab at writing a short story. practicing. i never really thought of a larger scheme. kind of just freestyling. glad it was entertaining.
 

Visit Our Friends

JPiC Portal > Main Forum Index > Shades Of Fiction > Short Stories

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Collaboration Game: Tag Poetry MsJacquiiC Forum Games 91 04-10-2008 12:32 PM
The Secret Is Perception Kit Carson Creative Traditional 2 01-17-2008 08:05 AM
Hooks, Lines & Sinkers MsJacquiiC Lit Articles Database 0 01-06-2008 09:18 PM
First lines of books you've read! Sally Roberts Forum Games 0 01-06-2008 03:42 PM
In The Lines Of My Hands zaac Emotional Romantic 5 01-30-2007 11:10 AM
Navigation
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:31 PM.
GreetingsGalleryOnline.com

Powered by vBulletin® gets JPiCans scribing.
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Some Custom Pages Using vBAdvanced CMPS