You've Got Mail {Flash Fiction}

PaintedDiary · 03:54 PM

Hey Yawl! I wanted to share my short story. I wanted to take a brief walk on the dark side. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

You've Got Mail {Flash Fiction}

It's late, about 2:30 am. She jumps on the PC. No mood for television. Lightning flashes. Raindrops sound mysterious against her window pane. She checks e-mail first.

"Wanna play hide and seek?". Sender unknown.
I w-i-l-l p-l-a-y, she typed. A half hour passed, still no response. Although, she felt like somebody was x-raying her. Checked e-mail again. "I was gonna play!", she laughed out loud. Then----her windows frost and a deep voice whispers, "GO SEEK". Erotic shadows dance on her screen.

Frozen with fear, she cannot move or speak. Her ribcage pulsates. Hands from behind, massages her neck and explores her anatomy. Her exhale, now irregular, seems to approve the invasion. She echoes somberly, wandering who could this be. She turns around and screams. Screams are silenced. Hellish maggots laugh at her, while dissolving her soul into damnation. Devil types back, Y-o-u F-o-o-l!

MsJacquiiC · 06-25-2006, 07:49 PM

Hey PAINTED - very nice story... Spooky kinda - yeah...
Makes me never ever want to play LOL
Very nice sharing - Thanx

Jacquii.

BTW - didn't know you where shortstory writer also
Very many faceted and talented

Now what's up with the "devilish" mood???

PaintedDiary · 06-25-2006, 11:51 PM

Just havin a little fun...I played pranks today on my friends, LOL! About to storm here, so enjoy your night.

GetShorty · 07-09-2006, 01:12 AM

Devilish! I can relate.

The Following Text Is Quoted:

Originally Posted by PaintedDiary

Her exhale, now irregular, seems to approve the invasion

I absolutely love this line. I swear I went back and reread at least three times. o_O

Very entertaining little story.

PaintedDiary · 07-09-2006, 08:27 AM

Thank you so much GetShorty, I wanted to do something devilish and fun. I am glad you enjoyed this, and also for taking time to read it. Three times, awwwww your making me blush now!!

Much Luv'...~*Painted Diary*~

Sebby · 07-15-2006, 05:31 PM

That was brilliant..love spooky supernatural stuff, great twist

PaintedDiary · 07-15-2006, 08:15 PM

Hi VodkaSlayer. Me to!!!!!!!!!!!! My favorite movies, books, and stories are scary ones!!!!!!!! I think, I am going to write more. This was so much FUN!!!!!! I am so glad you liked it, and thank you for taking the time to read it! Luv Ya'!!

butchiesmom · 10-31-2006, 01:17 PM

So cool! I didn't see the last part coming, lol. You did a really swell job. You did a really great job with the imaging! I could see her on the computer and could feel the hands on my shoulders.
Just a suggestion: "Hands from behind, messages..." should be "Hands from behind, massages..."
A great ghost story!
Gail

PaintedDiary · 10-31-2006, 03:35 PM

Hi Gail,

Thank you so much for taking time to read, and comment. I'm glad you liked the story. I am so glad you did also because I forgot to edit the word to 'massage" here as well!!! Thank you bunches!

Kim

sage · 12-09-2006, 06:50 PM

I'm going to go out on a limb here; she had a dream; she wakes up, sweaty, panting, but strangely not afraid...she gets up and checks the computer, and it is turned off. (just my off-beat take on this...)

yummmm, I loved this PD, well wrought, filled with erotic innuendo and suspense! Where were you going with this? more, more!

hugs,
sage