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    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Shades Of Fiction » Inspiring Novelists

Inspiring Novelists Aspiring to be a novelist? JPiC is in the business of inspiring and novelists are definitely welcome... So post your longer works in this section. (Only stories over 300 words please.)
Continuation of Eilia

Brinn's Journey
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Old 01-28-2008, 01:27 AM
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Brinn's Journey

Another scene from Eilia but not sure where it will fit yet. I'm not even sure it's finished, lol. I have several scenes written but haven't placed them yet. I might post more. Thought maybe someone might like it.

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Hide! Danger approaches! Brinn stopped moving, as the voices spoke, and listened. She heard only her breath and the ever constant voices whispering to her. No bird song, or buzz of insects reached her ears, even the leaves on the trees were silent, as if they too, were listening. She had learned to trust the voices, so she ducked into and behind a dense growth of brush as quickly as her thickening body would allow. She waited. Though her knees cramped and her legs ached, she stayed where she was. Just as she was ready to ease the burden on her knees and legs she heard the faint sound of shuffling feet and the creak of squeaky wheels coming from the direction she had been heading.

She watched as an old man and woman shuffled by, their shoes, mostly soles, tied to their feet with rags. The old woman bent under the weight of a large bag, moved slowly, each step placed carefully, as if each could be her last. The old man pulled a two-wheeled cart behind him. Looking at the belongings, piled high on the cart, Brinn could see why the old woman’s burden wasn’t in the cart also.

The old man, bent over from pulling the cart, grunted with the effort of each step forward. Brinn wondered why a burden beast wasn’t pulling cart instead, but the rags on their feet looked like strips torn from their tattered garment and decided they probably never had one or something happened to it along the way.

'It's only an old couple moving some bundles!' Brinn thought. They aren’t what they appear, was enough to stay her from acting on instinct and helping the old couple in some way. Look carefully, the voices told her, use your inner eye. Brinn took a deep breath and looked again at the man and woman as they shuffled by. A faint aura formed around them. Seekers, the voices told her, They gather the chosen and must not know you are here. It took a long time for them to pass her position.

‘Seekers? The Chosen?’ Brinn thought watching the strange couple slowly move away from her. Then she remembered the old ritual still observed by some of the villages. She’d heard no one knew what The Chosen were to look for or why but a some poor soul was sent out anyway. She’d read something in the prophecy about ‘those hidden in time’ and about one who would return and wondered if this was what it referred to.

Brinn’s legs protested as she slowly rose and returned to the path to continue on her way.

The old couple wasn’t the only people she had to avoid. As the child inside her grew, it became more difficult to find a place large enough to conceal her. Always, the voices gave her advanced warning.

Last edited by butchiesmom; 03-17-2008 at 01:57 PM. Reason: changes
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Old 01-28-2008, 09:54 AM
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I think you've done a great job with this Gail,
good enough to make an abhorer of short stories enjoy it throughout



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Old 01-28-2008, 10:00 AM
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Thanks, Erik! When I actually finish it you'll be the first one I tell. I have a bunch of scenes I've written but don't have it attached to anything else in the book yet.

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