PaintedDiary

CHOCOLATE BARS

**Warning--Explicit Language**

Chapter 1

Characters—Sam Senior (Father)
Sam Junior (Son)
Denise (Mother)
Danielle (Daughter)
Xavier (25 year old man)

So far these are the characters, more characters will be introduced in
the next Chapter. I have to go back and fill in the quotation marks.

"Boy, it’s hard enough on me. I work two jobs round the clock. Don’t know day from night. Your sister’s pregnant! A man named Xavier. Yes, I said, a man!" Denise screams, "Who the fuck is Xavier?" "My baby is only sixteen, and havin a baby!" And now I find out this Xavier is twenty-five years old! That ain’t love, that’s RAPE!!! "How could she do this?", as Denise holds Danielle's own baby picture upon her breast. "Times are hard enough as it is. Now I have a newborn baby to care for". "I thought she would know...that ain’t love, that she was only...used. She is perhaps to naive, and blinded by what she thought was love to know that’s rape."

In a softer weep Denise said. When your Daddy left, I thought my world would never behold another sunray. Then after awhile, I realized my sunshine comes in threes. God’s sunshine, you, and your sister. I knew then, I had something to live for, strive for, to provide for. To continue to survive, all I could do is work, two and three jobs, to maintain. I blame myself Junior. I wasn’t here for Danielle. She said she thought she was in love. What the fuck does love got to do with it! I wasn’t here to talk to her, to guide her; even protect her.

Danielle said that Xavier's wife called her, and told her to stay away from her husband. She also laughed at Danielle while telling her that she is one of many young girls that Xavier has used. Of course Xavier did not mention the fact that he was married. Danielle said the worst part was that she heard Xavier laughing in the background, and calling her a dumb bitch at the same time.

"I am goin to find this Xavier if it's the last thing I do, and I'm goin to fuckin' kill him!", Junior said in a rage of fury. "Junior!, stop talkin like that!" "That is not goin to help anybody or anything, jus' will put you behind bars!" "I need you son, to be strong!" Denise says as she comforts junior. "This is my burden junior, and I will cope the best way I can, and we will make it". You know your Father predicted all that we are going through, and wasn't man enough to be here when it came to pass. Bastard.

Junior looks down at his mother and says, "Mom, you are so beautiful, without you, where would we be. Look, I know, I’m not the best son. I know there are many things I could have done differently. When I left home, I was angry, even selfish. Thinking why can’t I do anything right in her eyes. Why can’t I make Mom love me? Why does she hate me? Why am I just like my Father? Why, when I look at Mom, she only sees my Father____ looking back. Why am I , your son, transparent, to you? I’m going to be seventeen in three days. Uncle Jim said when I turn seventeen; I can work for him, down at the steel mill. I can help with the bills. I want to be there for Danielle, the baby, and most important_____for you.
Junior's Mom cups her hand upon his face, and told him something she had never told him before. You know son, when I met your Father, he was like a Black Diamond. He sparkled when parallel to the path of a certain kind of light. I thought that light was me. Everything was fine until you were born. Your Father told me that if I had a son, he was going to leave. My spirit was pierced like lightning through thick black clouds. I told him that most men strut like a peacock upon the announcement, You just had a baby boy! Instead, you run____why? Your Father, with tears in his eyes, looked at me as if his soul was plucked out of him, and only a cage remained. His silence felt strange and dark. His expression was incomprehensible, as if further questioning was a violation. He wiped a single tear, with his eyes fixed on you Jr., as you lay only ten hours old. He held you in his arms. His silence spoke clearly, and I knew he was somehow____ serious. Then he laid you down gently, kissed you, and then kissed me to. Denise….I need time to think things through, he said.

I told your Father, that I knew we don’t live in the best neighborhood, make a lot of money, there’s drugs, gangs, and guns. But we can make it somewhere else. To hear the words, I’m leaving, after just havin your baby was just crazy. I thought maybe I was crazy. Maybe, I should let this sorry motherfucca go! Things seemed not the same after that. Your Father did leave, and for the next year, he was back and forth, and gave money once a week. He stopped comin around when I told him that I was pregnant again, with your sister, but the money kept comin.

He announced once more, that he was leaving, and leaving for good this time. This time, I was stronger, strong in my faith in God, and that it would be all right. Yeah, this motherfucca, gots to go, I whispered to myself. Your Father looked at me and said baby, it’s not so much the streets, not so much the drugs, and not so much of anything cept' “Chocolate Bars”.

I never saw or heard from your Father again, however, the money kept comin. No time to go collect, I had two of my own diamonds to keep polished. With soft tears rolling down, Sam Junior said, Mom, what did Dad mean?

Junior, I never knew. The last thing he said to me was that, he was leaving because; he could not bear seeing his son survive the pungent taste of Chocolate Bars, like he did.

MsJacquiiC

WOW! Great write KIM Just one thing though - where did the quotation marks go?

Anyway - very interesting write - I'm certainly looking forward to the 2nd installment. This piece gives me hope that JPiC will survive the infancy stage - if you will...

Very nice to see the characters take shape right before my eyes - You've done a wonderful job with this story... Still wondering why? Why the "pungent taste of Chocolate Bars"? What does that mean? Where are you going with these "Chocolate Bars"

Like I said - Looking forward to installment #2
Great piece of storytelling - Thanx for sharing!

Jacquii.

Patricia_Lynn

I liked what I read and would like to see more. Will there be more? The chocolate bars kind of threw me off though. I'm still confused with that one, lol. Please don't get upset with me on this. I like this part-->Your sister’s pregnant! Some man named Xavier. Yes, I said, a man! Who the fuck is Xavier? My baby is only sixteen, and havin a baby. Danielle said this Xavier is twenty-five years old! That ain’t love, that’s RAPE!!! <--It seems to be missing something.

And now I find out this Xavier is twenty-five years old! That ain’t love, that’s RAPE!!! Just a thought

I almost feel I am stepping over my boundary

I think this part is good and speaks loud-->In a softer weep Denise said, "When your Daddy left, I thought my world would never behold another sunray. Then after awhile, I realized my sunshine comes in threes. God’s sunshine, you, and your sister. I knew then, I had something to live for, strive for, to provide for.
I think you have a start to a great story, keep up the good work

PaintedDiary

Dear Ms Jacquii and Patricia,

Thank you for taking precious time to read and comment! Yes, those quotation marks ran away!!! LOL!!! I will find them and put them in the story!! LOL!! Yes there is another installment, and in the 2nd, the "Chocolate Bars" significance will be revealed! The inspiration for this piece came from my dealing with "The Gang Member" families, when I lived in East Los Angeles. Based on true facts. Thank you for your suggestions, as I will review and incorporate the suggestions when revising this piece, and continuing with the next. Patricia, if writers get upset when reviewed, then they should not write! LOL!!! I welcome any and all criticism. Makes me perfect my craft. So thanks hun for your review. Thank you both again. Take Care.

Kimberly aka Painted Diary

erikestabrook

yeah Kim this story was good, the turmoil is this is kind of rush people like to know how their chracters act genrally before they become a mess,
just thoughts, this could be a good story

PaintedDiary

Hi Erik,

Thank you for taking precious time to read and comment. I really did not understand your comment, but will take a look again. Thanks!!! No rush to me, as I wanted the "Wow" factor upfront, then lay out a story. This is the way of life for Families of Gangs, like the Bloods, and the Crypts. Thanks again Erik for reading!!!

Painted

erikestabrook