Dali Diary Entry #2, February 21st, 1949…..Crimson Bath - Poetry in Color Forum
 


Poetry in Color Forum
Donation Goal For Private Hosting 2009
Help us get better hosting = make your donation today!
We Have Received $160 Towards Our Goal Of $750
21.33% Of Our Goal Has Been Reached




Welcome To The JPiC Community.





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:30 AM.
Official Forum Language Is English. Translate Below:
Click Here To Join JPiC Forum.

Kewl Stuff JPiC Radio Daily Horoscope JPiC Arcade Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
    JPiC Portal » Main Forum Index » Shades Of Fiction » Inspiring Novelists

Inspiring Novelists Aspiring to be a novelist? JPiC is in the business of inspiring and novelists are definitely welcome... So post your longer works in this section. (Only stories over 300 words please.)
LVS Continued...

Dali Diary Entry #2, February 21st, 1949…..Crimson Bath
this thread has 14 replies and has been viewed 803 times


Post New Thread  Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-21-2008, 07:54 PM
  post #1
JPiC Senior Moderator Extraordinaire

PaintedDiary's Avatar

PaintedDiary Is The Original Thread Starter
My Mood:
Real Name: Kimberley D. Robinson
Last Online: Yesterday 07:28 PM
Location: PA
A/S/L: 45
Join Date: Jun 23 2006
Posts: 4,472 Threads: 261
Member Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 167
Thanked 22 Times in 14 Posts
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
Surfs The Web With:
Awards Showcase
Contest Winner Award Titanium Friend Award Critique Extraordinaire Award Artistic Award Contributor Award #2 Hall Of Fame Contributor Award 
Total Awards: 7
PaintedDiary has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Icon12 Dali Diary Entry #2, February 21st, 1949…..Crimson Bath

I am writing this Dali Diary Entry #2 “very rough draft” in past tense as per the suggestion of Ms Jacquii…..and makes much more sense to me now.

Dali Diary Entry #2, February 21st, 1949…..Crimson Bath



The next night, I wrote "her" a poem expressing how desperately I wanted to see her, and drown in her mysterious sea. She loved me, touched me, and excited me like no man ever did before. I sketched her as mystical, erogenous, enchanting, and cunning. She was a perfect femme for a Salvador Dali painting. Then I thought, yes, Dali, was the perfect name for her.

No one would have believed me if I told them that she was but a fine mist upon my skin. Dali was an erotic zephyr, with an ominous ancient fragrance. Bizarre scents which I became familiar with from reading, from researching, and from first hand experience. Creatures of myth and folklore were my preferred genre when reading as a child. I thought them to be extinct, not extant. Frightened by my speculations, I dismissed the thoughts that Dali was indeed a vampire.

Upon arrival, her noctilucent haze glimmered like Sirius. She was slightly sobbing as she approached me, and I could feel her damp cheek brush ever so softly against mine. Whilst whispering "SSSaasscchhaa" in my ear, I felt a chilling breeze, gently closing my eyes. With the barest touch, she caressed me, nibbled my nape, my breasts, and slowly moved on to tease my ready lips. I was all hers, with arched back and eyes closed. Her tongue, wet and warm, left indelible trails of tender kisses inside my thighs. She gently lifted me closer. All I could see were Heaven’s most brilliant stars, and hear Heaven’s most harmonious symphony.

Under her spell, I did not care about anything else, and my pleasure resounded in spiral galaxy echoes. When I opened my eyes, she was gone, and only a linger of what smelled like decay remained. I was left feeling sad, violated, and oh so satisfied. I embraced myself, pretending my arms were hers.

Moments later, sharp pains inside my thighs abruptly replaced my ethereal reminiscing of her being there. Dribbling blood accompanied the stinging pain. I rushed to wash my inconceivable night away. My world shattered as I sat in a crimson bath. Vampires do indeed exist, and so did Dali.

Painted lol



Signed By PaintedDiary


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.


Last edited by PaintedDiary; 05-04-2008 at 08:16 PM.
PaintedDiary is offline   Reply With Quote
JPiC Forum Sponsor Links • This Forum is enhanced with content-revelevant advertisings...
JPiC Whole-Post Ad Policy
Whole-Post advertisings are shown only to JPiC Forum For Writers' Guests. Once successfully registered, such ads will not be shown. CLICK HERE to register your 100% FREE JPiC account today and become an active Member of our Community for Poets & Writers! CLICK HERE for advertising opportunities.

Old 04-22-2008, 10:47 AM
  post #2
Moderator

butchiesmom's Avatar

My Mood:
Real Name: Gail Deemer
Last Online: 01-07-2009 10:18 PM
Location: Clune, PA
A/S/L: 54
Join Date: Oct 20 2006
Posts: 835 Threads: 79
Member Blog Entries: 8
Thanks: 9
Thanked 17 Times in 17 Posts
Surfs The Web With:
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PaintedDiary View Post
No one would have believed me if I told them that she was only but a fine mist upon my skin. Dali was an erotic zephyr, with an ominous ancient fragrance.
OMG! I could see everything, feel everything, want everything! Holy crap! I need a shower myself! WOW! There's no other word to describe how I'm feeling right now! The details here are simply fantastic. They're as tangible as the vampire Dali and as intangible as the tangible emotions here!

Fantastic, Sis!!!!!!!
Gail
butchiesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-23-2008, 06:48 PM
  post #3
JPiC Senior Moderator Extraordinaire

PaintedDiary's Avatar

PaintedDiary Is The Original Thread Starter
My Mood:
Real Name: Kimberley D. Robinson
Last Online: Yesterday 07:28 PM
Location: PA
A/S/L: 45
Join Date: Jun 23 2006
Posts: 4,472 Threads: 261
Member Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 167
Thanked 22 Times in 14 Posts
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
Surfs The Web With:
Awards Showcase
Contest Winner Award Titanium Friend Award Critique Extraordinaire Award Artistic Award Contributor Award #2 Hall Of Fame Contributor Award 
Total Awards: 7
PaintedDiary has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Thanks so much Gail for reading and commenting! I have more coming and an edited version of Entry #1. Like I said, you are so inspiring, and I am most grateful for you taking precious time to read my work. Love ya Sis!

Kim



Signed By PaintedDiary


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

PaintedDiary is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2008, 02:27 AM
  post #4
JPiC Senior Elite

zaac's Avatar

My Mood:
Real Name: David Graf
Last Online: 01-06-2009 08:22 PM
A/S/L: 45
Join Date: Oct 31 2006
Posts: 546 Threads: 94
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
zaac has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
this is twisted in a special PD kinda way.

z



Signed By zaac


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

zaac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2008, 09:41 AM
  post #5
JPiC Senior Moderator Extraordinaire

PaintedDiary's Avatar

PaintedDiary Is The Original Thread Starter
My Mood:
Real Name: Kimberley D. Robinson
Last Online: Yesterday 07:28 PM
Location: PA
A/S/L: 45
Join Date: Jun 23 2006
Posts: 4,472 Threads: 261
Member Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 167
Thanked 22 Times in 14 Posts
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
Surfs The Web With:
Awards Showcase
Contest Winner Award Titanium Friend Award Critique Extraordinaire Award Artistic Award Contributor Award #2 Hall Of Fame Contributor Award 
Total Awards: 7
PaintedDiary has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
LOLOL...thank you Zaac...for taking time to read and to comment....twisted and demented you call me...and thank you...lol...

Kim



Signed By PaintedDiary


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

PaintedDiary is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2008, 11:04 PM
  post #6
Contributor

JolieH's Avatar

Real Name: Jolie Harsch
Last Online: 10-23-2008 10:05 PM
Location: CA
A/S/L: 48
Join Date: Jul 3 2007
Posts: 510 Threads: 82
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
Biography: I am a mother of two and a student at CSUSM.
JolieH has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
There you go, you have the vampire element suggested. The last sentence in the first paragraph sounds a little awkward compared to the rest of the piece. Good luck, and let me know when further parts are posted.



Signed By JolieH


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.

JolieH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2008, 07:12 PM
  post #7
JPiC Senior Moderator Extraordinaire

PaintedDiary's Avatar

PaintedDiary Is The Original Thread Starter
My Mood:
Real Name: Kimberley D. Robinson
Last Online: Yesterday 07:28 PM
Location: PA
A/S/L: 45
Join Date: Jun 23 2006
Posts: 4,472 Threads: 261
Member Blog Entries: 2
Thanks: 167
Thanked 22 Times in 14 Posts
Biography: Teachers, like candles; consume a little of ourselves everyday, so our students can shine bright.
Surfs The Web With:
Awards Showcase
Contest Winner Award Titanium Friend Award Critique Extraordinaire Award Artistic Award Contributor Award #2 Hall Of Fame Contributor Award 
Total Awards: 7
PaintedDiary has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Icon7

Quote:
Originally Posted by JolieH View Post
There you go, you have the vampire element suggested. The last sentence in the first paragraph sounds a little awkward compared to the rest of the piece. Good luck, and let me know when further parts are posted.
Thank you so much Jolie for taking precious time to read and comment. I wanted to build upon the first entry and leave the element of mystery and raise questions since no one knew of the vampire element unless I told them. So I wanted to see if it could stand alone as a diary entry with mystery, then see if I could get away with introducing the vampire element in the second diary entry. I will be changing that last sentence as per your suggestion! Thank you! Take Care.

Kim



Signed By PaintedDiary


Forum Signatures Are Not Shown To Unregistered Guests.
CLICK HERE to Register Your Free JPiC Forum Account.


Last edited by PaintedDiary; 04-28-2008 at 07:41 PM.
PaintedDiary is offline   Reply With Quote