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Inspiring Novelists Aspiring to be a novelist? JPiC is in the business of inspiring and novelists are definitely welcome... So post your longer works in this section. (Only stories over 300 words please.)
ROUGH DRAFT!!!!!!!!!

Eilia's Pain
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Old 04-17-2008, 10:53 AM
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Eilia's Pain

From the pain came joy. Eilia should’ve been a happy child with loving parents and siblings. Instead, she was a quiet, solitary child with one friend, Ainie, her older ‘sister’. From the pain of Mara’s bullying came the solitude Eilia sought by going to her ‘special place’ in the nearby countryside. She first discovered her power there, her ability to draw on the energy of the planet, though she didn’t understand what she was doing.

An isolated glade, the grass was always green, even in times of drought, the trees grew a bit taller, the birds sang a little louder. The stream running by the side of the glade gurgled a bit faster than anywhere else she’d been.

It was in this glade, Eilia felt safe. It was here, she discovered her talent at an earlier age than any of her family had ever known. It was here, for some reason, the power was stronger and easier to obtain. It was here, Eilia went when the pain was more than she could bear. It was here, the pain would drain away and peace would surround her. She could swear there was even an aura, a pale shimmering of the air, which surrounded her when that happened, but the tears filling her eyes distorted the air anyway, so she couldn’t be sure.

The wind wafted softly through the leaves of the trees in the forest. Branches, thick with age and heavy with fruit, bowed down toward the sparse vegetation on the forest floor. Insects and rodents scuttled toward the clearing at the edge of the trees. The young girl sat on the ground in the middle of the clearing unaware of the animals which peered at her curiously from the protection of the forest.

Her arms held her legs tight against her slender body as deep, soul-wrenching sobs half-strangled her. Waist-length hair veiled red-rimmed violet eyes, her normally translucent complexion blotchy from tears. She became aware of the songs of the birds and the hum of insects as the painful sobs slowed down.

Slowly, the magic of her special place calmed her, quieting her tormented soul. As her tears died away, the little stream at the edge of the clearing drew her attention. Her body relaxed, tension visibly melting away as she stood up and walked over to the stream. Kneeling, she splashed the cool water on her face, soothing her tear-burned eyes, water splattering the skirt of her long brown dress, as she drank from cupped hands.

She had run from the village, crying the entire way, hardly able to see where she was going at times. She didn’t see the stranger that passed her on his way into the village or the way he looked at her as she ran past him. Ainie, her only friend, had been named as the Chosen One and those named as such were never seen again.

Bright blue eyes watched from the safety of cover as Eilia dried her face and hands with her skirt.
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Old 04-17-2008, 02:10 PM
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Ok I am commenting,lol, private joke. I like that version of it, but still want to know who the blue eyes belong to lol!
Its all starting to come together now.



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Old 04-17-2008, 03:55 PM
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Haha! It is starting to come together! It's a story which just won't go away! Thanks for commenting, Racheul.

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Gail
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Old 04-19-2008, 10:23 AM
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this was well-written and compelling



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Old 04-19-2008, 10:29 AM
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Thanks, Erik! I can't wait to start fleshing it in.
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Gail
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Old 04-19-2008, 10:36 AM
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Dear Gail,

This is phenomenal! It is very well written and the build up of the "special place", and why it it so "special" was lovely. Very descriptive and kept my attention from beginning to end. You write beautifully Gail...always I leave your work wanting more and more and more! That first line was most fitting for branching out with the story as well. Love this Sis!

Kim



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Old 04-19-2008, 10:55 AM
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Thanks, Sis! Isn't it wonderful how we are able to write and make it so believable? I went for 20 years thinking I had no talent for anything!

Now I've taught crochet and tatting classes and discovered a love and real talent for writing! Isn't life wonderful?

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Gail
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