Holly

Story continued..

Chapter Two :
School

I supply Mr. Bruce with the note and take my place in the first row, third column. Mr. Bruce, Like Mrs. Ann, is heavy.

"Lexy Nickels, please come to the office for a moment. Lexy Nickels," the speaker announces.

What the hell?! Wasn't I just up there for an hour? I rise and journey to the stupid office.

"Lexy, I need to ask you something," I listen to Mrs. Daisy say.

Okay.. Talk already. Not that I want you to. What would be nice is if you'd shut up and leave me alone!

"Can you give me your parents’ names?"

"Um..."

Why does she want their names? What if she calls them or arrests them for some reason? There is absolutely no way I'm telling her their names!

"And also, I was just wondering, do you know where you Father is?”

"No. I have no idea where he is."

Or if he's alive. Nor do I care.

"I'm not giving you their names. Never."

"You know very well, Lexy, that I can easily get your parents' names. Please tell me. It will be easier for both of us."

What the hell does she need their names for?

"Leon Scott and Darcy Kane Nickels," I submit.

I scamper back to science. You shouldn't have told her that. She didn't need to know.

I endure the rest of Science class, taking endless notes on genetics, cells, and the likes. If we had a test on it right now, I would get everything correct. But Mr. Bruce would reward me with no higher than an F. Because he hates me! I don't understand why, though, but he does.

Next I attend Reading. Advanced Reading. There's only Advanced Math and Reading. I'm in both. But I shouldn't be. I'm not extremely smart at all. A poem pops into my head.

"Yet, I'm not really smart,
Nobody is!
Some are just dumber
Than other kids!”

I jot it down swiftly so I can get to work.

“Write, in your own words, a summary of this book," Mrs. May directs.

Yeah, this is so Advanced. I write the summary. Then the bell rings. It's lunch time.

Zack walks up to me. He chuckles. God, I love his laugh. And I love Zack. Tell him. Now, Lexy!

"I can't believe they call that Advanced Reading!" he huffs.

"I know! I was thinking the same thing!"

"So what'd they call you to the office for?"

"Mrs. Daisy was a little desperate to gain my parents' names."

"Why?"

If you tell him, you have to tell him who you love. He'll ask. You know it. You refuse it, too, don't you? We walk to my locker and wait for Constance. She shows up immediately.

"Tell me all the details! Everything!"

"About what?" Zack inquires of me.

"I... started crying in Miss April's class and Mrs. Ann sent me to the stupid counselor."

"Oh, God! Not the counselor!" Zack grins sarcastically.

"Anyway, so she asked me all these questions. She thinks I'm self -inflicted and I have a large lack of love. Something like that," I finish.

Now we're sitting in the cafeteria, eating our lunches together.

"You shouldn't do that to yourself, Lexy," Zack scolds softly.

"I know."

"The counselor will be all over you!" Connie exclaims.

"How do you figure I did it to myself?"

"Because I've been your friend for so long, Lexy. Your best friend. How can you not be certain I've memorized all your ways?”

I love you so much, Zachary Michael Edmundson. I want to give you everything in the entire world. No. More than that. I'd give you the universe if I could. I want you to need me, Zack. I need you to need me. I want you to need me as much as I need you. My desire is for you to love me. To hold me and cherish me for all eternity. But you never will, will you? No one will. Nobody wants to have a girl like me.

Lexy, Zack's aware that you love him. He has to be. He said he's memorized all your ways. Of thinking and acting. Of wanting and hoping. He knows you. He understands you. But, God, Zack does not love you! To him you're only a friend. A girl who requires a light all the time. A girl who can't handle the dark. Not even a shadow.

He's hugging me. I'm crying. I squeeze him tightly. Very tightly. I need you, Zack. Don't ever leave me. Connie's ridding of all our trash. Zack places me on his lap. I wrap my lanky arms around his neck and rest my head on his right shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I - I shouldn't - "

I can't stop grieving. My breaths are all short and wheezy sounding. The bell chimes. It's time for the next class. I practically jump off of Zack. I'm not going to make him late again. I sprint away.

"Lexy, wait!"

Too late.

Social Studies. Mr. James. I hate them both so much. Today I'm not going to pay attention. What the hell does it matter, anyhow? No matter what, I'm going to fail his class. And possibly seventh grade.

I need to think of a way to make money. I have to help Mom pay for stuff. What about a writing contest? You probably wouldn't win, but at least it's something to try. But what poem should I use? I could use that dumb "Hate" poem from earlier today...

"You're so stupid! I hate you, Lexy!"

Zack hates me. I'm stupid. He says so.

"You're the worst poet ever!"

I know! I know! I suck!

"Die, bitch!"

He shoots me. Pain. Blood. Green blood...

"Miss Nickels!"

A dream. A dream? Oh, shit!

“Were you sleeping in my class?"

Obviously! You're the one that's been awake! You should know if I was sleeping or paying attention!

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize it."

"Hurry to your next class. If it happens again, detention!"

I won't see you again, dumb ass.

I pick up my stuff and leave. I go to Advanced Math. My favorite teacher, Mr. Brown, is there. That's something to life my spirits. Kind of.

"Simplify the extended fraction.

.........1
_____________
............1
2 + __________
................1
.......2 + ______
....................1
..............2 + __
.....................2

Good luck!"

Okay... I have to work backwards. Two plus one half is two and a half. Make that an improper fraction, which is five over two. Put the one over that and you have one over five over two. Multiply each by two over one, the denominator, and that gives me two over ten over two. And that is... two fifths. Add the two and that's two and two fifths, or twelve fifths. And then one over twelve over five times the denominator is.. five twelfths. Five twelfths plus two is twenty nine twelfths. One over twenty nine over twelve multiplied by the denominator is twelve over three hundred forty eight over twelve, or... twelve over twenty nine. So the answer is twelve over twenty nine!

I wonder if Zack's finished yet. I wait patiently for Mr. Brown to let us do a few more difficult problems. The period eventually ends.

Now I go to Keyboarding. I loathe typing. I press all the letters repeatedly. God, it stings. I want to scream. Mr. Kazack doesn't care. Not one bit. He only continues to stroll around the room, watching each and every one of us closely.

And Keyboarding stops. There's one more hour left. Free period. I go to the school library and fall asleep.

“Lexy!"

It sounds like Zack.

"Hey, Lexy!"

I open my eyes. It is Zack.

"We have to go or we'll miss the bus."

"Oh, shit! Sorry. Sorry."

I bundle up my books, folders, pencils, and papers and we scram to Bus 43.

“I'm sorry about today, guys," I apologize.

"It's fine, Lexy. Quit worrying about it," assures Connie.

"I just thought you were on your period or somethin'. Until it registered that you had definitely cut yourself last night."

My face turns pink. Zack! You can't say that! It's wrong! We reach my house and I hop out. The moment I'm in my room, I plop on my bed covered with green sheets and automatically rest deeply.