JolieH

This exercise is from a list mail site I belong to. I got several positive critiques about it. They all said, they want to know what happened.

The assignment was to open a door in 300 words or less. This is about 298 words.



She thought it was stupid but took another step toward the door. The door bell rang, and her heart jumped. Staying out of sight, she glanced out the front window. His newer model Volvo, parked next to the curb, wore a meticulous shine. With the palms of her hands she pressed the front of her skirt down, and looked in the mirror hanging in the entrance hall. The picture in her profile was a couple years old. She worried he might be disappointed. Maybe she should have posted a new picture. She looked at the age lines around her mouth. Moving her lips slightly, she searched for a youthful expression then shrugged her shoulders.

This was her first date from match.com. They had been sending emails for three and a half weeks, He seemed too good to be true, divorced, educated, children grown up, enjoyed romantic dinners, walks on the beach, fine art, and classical music. He was independently wealthy having made his money selling real estate when the market was prime. He could even write poetry impressing her already with his polite but sexy style.

He had made a dinner reservation at the Marine Room in La Jolla. They serve the finest steak and sea food in the area. They would dine with an ocean view at sunset. The door bell rang again. She saw the image of his head through the beveled glass door. He shifted weight.

She reached out and took hold of the knob. Then standing with her face very close to the door, she turned the knob and pulled the door open, peeking around with a smile.
“John,” she said. There he stood holding and impressive spring mix bouquet.
“Betty,” he said, leaning slightly to meet her smile with his.

PaintedDiary

Dear Jolie,

Ok, ok ok, Ms JOLIE! What the hell happened next damn it! LOLOL I loved loved loved this! Great exercise! Your opening line as some is the most important in story writing is fantabulous and already I am hooked. I love the layout of this and the subject as this is becoming more common and scary these days. I felt like a sister next to her, nudging her on, as you placed me there. Your work is never verbose and has much beauty in its brevity. You left just enough closure to make he curse, lol, just enough to want more as you made the ending crave-able. Ya know you are a very gifted writer and artist and I always look forward to reading your work and viewing your artwork. Please tell me you are a tease with this, lol, and you will let us know what happens! Excellent rating and great write!

{{{~~~***KIM***~~~}}}

JolieH

Thank you very much. I guess I'll have to try to short story this piece. It was a fun excercise. We could do stuff like this here. It's really fun, and it was fun to read all the other frustrated writers pushing and pulling on those doors. I would have never come up with this idea for a story had I not been trying to use so many words just to open a door.

You could try a flash fiction challenge. I think Flash fiction is close to poetry in many ways. I really loved your little scary story, you published.