butchiesmom

Ritual of the Chosen


All three of the councilmen standing in one spot meant only one thing to the villagers of Asailia. When they stood on the platform built only for rituals, it meant the Chosen had been selected and it was time for the ritual to begin.

Mara, as usual, was there before anyone else. How does she know? was the thought of each of the councilmen.

“Midwife Mara, where’s your daughter?” They had already heard what happened with Eilia, everyone in the village knew by the next morning and were happy for Eilia but sorry Ainie didn’t have the same luck.

“I don’t know. She wasn’t in her bed this morning. I went to look for her where Keirn and Eilia lives but they weren’t there either. The house is empty. Their belongings are gone.”

The Master Councilman looked at his friends, the only ones he’d ever had. He gave them a “what now?” look which they promptly returned with “I don’t know” shrugs. They’d already set the ritual in motion. There was no turning back now.

He drew his brother and best friend away from Mara’s eager, prying ears. They’d scoured the old cities and estates looking for any ancient relic which utilized energy and still worked. It had taken years to find enough to get them through until the star child was born and took out the siikers. They were tired of dealing with those creatures to save that which they believed in. None of them knew when the time would be for their jobs to end but they hoped it would be soon.

“I’ve already turned it on. It doesn’t matter whether we turn it off now or not. The siiker has been ignoring the slight draw in the energy field but this ancient relic has a higher signature. Don’t you feel it coming? Can’t you hear the warning?”

The head councilman turned to the crowd still gathering. “Go find Ainie, Midwife Mara’s daughter,’ he ordered, “She’s the Chosen. Quickly, there’s not much time left.”

He turned to Mara who was standing by his side as if she belonged to the Council. “Midwife Mara, do you know where Ainie is? If you do you had better tell us now.”

Mara denied any knowledge of her daughter’s whereabouts, “She was sleeping when I went to bed. When I awoke she was gone. I don’t know where she went. I thought she went for water, but I haven’t found her.”

“Know this, Midwife Mara, if Ainie isn’t found soon you will take her place.”

Mara’s eyes widened. “But…but…,” she sputtered, “but I’m the midwife! You need me here!”

“That’s not entirely true, Mara. You trained an apprentice, did you not?”

“Yes,” Mara was slow to reply but not slow to understand the implications of his question, “but she hasn’t completely been trained,” she hedged, “Mae doesn’t know everything she needs to know.,”

“Then why did you release Mae from her apprenticeship and title her as midwife?” he asked.

“I, um…,” she hedged again, “Mae said that? When did you see her?”

“There’s knowledge some are privy to, Midwife Mara, you are not one of them.”

Mara remembered a man, outside of a burning cottage, saying those very words. The rebuke didn’t hurt any less the second time around.

He continued, “Is it true? Did you title Mae as a midwife?”

“Yes, but…”

“No buts. If she was not ready to do birthing she should not have been titled as such. Though from what I’ve heard she has birthed many babes with no problems. Obviously you’ve taught her well. Tell me, what didn’t she learn from you?”

“I…I…I don’t remember exactly what at the moment.”

“Mara, I believe you’re trying to speak an untruth to me!”

“No…I mean….”

“It doesn’t matter now, Mistress Mara.” He said. For a councilman to omit a person's title meant the absence or removal of it. “Don’t you mean, Midwife Mara?” she meekly asked.

“I meant what I said, Mara. We’ll discuss the matter after the ritual.”

Eom looked over the crowd returning from their search for Ainie. They shook their heads. Ainie was gone. Time was closing in on them. Either they select someone from the crowd and hope it was enough or the siiker would enter the village and find their store of relics.

Eom looked at Yrral, Yrral looked at Lucry. Their minds linked long enough to make a decision. Yrral smiled. Mara had been bothering him a long time for a seat on the Council. He hadn’t wanted to tell Mara why her mother appeared to be a member of the Council yet she wasn’t. His smile widened with delight as to what he was about to tell her and what was going to be her fate. Yrral was glad Ainie had been spared. It seemed right for Mara to be the Chosen, one siiker attracting another… He hoped she didn’t anger it.

He held one hand high, a signal for quiet. Once he had everyone’s attention he spoke, “Since Mistress Mara,” he held his hand up again to quiet the shocked murmurs, “Mistress Mara, once known as Midwife Mara, has volunteered to take the place of her missing daughter, Ainie, so we can begin the ritual.”

Mara’s head, hung low since her demotion, jerked up at the councilman’s announcement. She opened her mouth to deny her willingness to participate in what was essentially a banning from the village. Since the time the ritual started, those selected as a Chosen have never returned. Her complexion paled. She tried to tell the crowd cheering her on that this wasn’t her idea that she thought, in fact, that it was a very bad idea, but nothing came out.

Yrral held up his hand again. The crowd quieted. “Now for those women soon to birth, don’t worry. Mara’s apprentice, Mae, now a midwife herself, will be here soon.” Mara, scanning the crowd looking for a face willing to take her place, looked sharply at Yrral. They’ve been planning for this! “She has agreed to stay here long enough to train an apprentice. “ The crowd cheered again.

“Mistress Mara.” Mara’s unkind thoughts were interrupted. “Please accept this as a gift for your gracious offer and your service to our village.” He held out the artifact which had been drawing the siiker nearer. Mara took it with a shaky hand. “Thank you, Councilman Yrral.” She was surprised she could speak and tried to speak her mind before she was forced to leave but she was again speechless. Her numbness at what had just transpired turned to a self-righteous anger. She wanted to scream at those who cheered her on but nothing would come out. She tried to delay the inevitable by dropping the artifact, stepping back from it and shaking her head no. Mara soon found that was a bad idea. The crowd closed in as the councilman picked it up again and handed to her. She took another step backwards and turned in the direction of home. She wanted nothing to do with what was going on regardless whether she was the focus or not.

The crowd would not allow her a chance to bolt. She stood looking at the people she’d thought friends and realized they were all acquaintances. Though she’d birthed their babes and healed some of their wounds, she’d never given them more than a nod of the head otherwise. Mara’s heart sank as she realized she had brought this on herself.

She took the artifact from Yrral, the smooth metal still warm from his body heat, and smiled as well as her whirling mind would permit her. “Thank you, Councilman Yrral. I take this gift as a token of your appreciation and will make use of it in my search.” Mara knew what came next from years of watching others go through it. The instructions… where she was to go, what she would search for...would be given to her next. No one heard what was said but the Chosen. She didn’t wait long. Councilman Yrral spoke next, “Come Mara, there are things which you must know before you leave.”

She and Yrral walked off to one side. The crowd could see them talking but couldn’t hear what was said. What they could see though was a display of what she refused to show outside of her home. The incredulous look on her face quickly changed to anger. They marveled at how fast her face turned a deep red despite the chill of the morning. Soon they finished and returned to the crowd. Mara’s face reflected the anger she still felt, but she found she was able to say a pleasant farewell and left the crowd and the trio comprising the Council of Asailia behind her.

I don’t believe it! It can’t be true! her thoughts continued along the line of what Yrral related to her. More than a few unkind thoughts were directed to the Council and those she’d found weren’t friends. “Not one person there asked to spare me! I helped every one of them and this is how they treat me!” Indignation and anger were her blinders protecting her from the humilition of her earlier revelation.

“I refuse to do as they bid! I’m Midwife Mara! No one tells me what to do! Mamma gave that title to me! They can’t take it away from me! I’m going home!” She threw the artifact down on the road and circled around the village to get to her home. She didn’t notice the glow coming out of the broken artifact, how it slowly crept toward the village or the person who picked it up.

***

Maobi watched Mara’s defiant tantrum from behind an ancient tree.

She listened to Mara’s words of defiance and watched as the incensed woman threw the artifact to the ground and saw Mara leave the path and head back to the village.

Maobi didn’t care about Mara’s tantrum what she wanted was what the Chosen woman had been given before she was set on the path. Maobi had been sent by the Protector to watch what the Chosen did then report to him. Maobi waited until she couldn’t hear Mara’s progress through the underbrush any longer then she stepped on to the path and retrieved the artifact from where Mara had thrown it.

She shook it, unaware of the crack in its housing from the force of its hitting the ground. Maobi didn’t feel the misted drops of ancient power fly out, hitting her face. Without benefit of Crafting talent, she also didn’t see the glow that accompanied such power.

Mysty

oooh Gail. I am left hanging on the cliff.. dang woman .....toss me a line and reel me in hmm? What I really want to know is .... WHY have you not submitted to an agent or a publisher Gail?? This is absolutely fantastic stuff you are writing Woman!!! I WANT the book so I can read it all at once!!!!!!!

LoL yes dang it I am impatient. This is REALLY good. I mean along the lines of Swords and Sorcerors type of Good. Marion Zimmer Bradley. You KNOW what I mean hm?

Love

Mysty

PS.... No changes necessary hon... the flow of it read smoothly and I am dying to read more.

butchiesmom

I'd toss you a line, but I'd have to find one first, lol. This is far from finished (one reason why I haven't submitted it to an agent or publisher). I've written two more scenes, both before this one, chronologically, which changes this one slightly, and have two more to write which might change it again. I've heard that agents and publishers alike, prefer a completed manuscript from a new writer (to make sure they can actually write) which is another reason why this hasn't been submitted.

It's good to know that if this hits book store shelves there will be at least one copy sold, lol. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mysty.

I'm a big scifi/fantasy fan but didn't know what you were talking about until I googled her (blushing) I'd read Mists of Avalon but didn't know the author, lol. I liked the subject, Morgan LeFey, which is why I read it. I blush when I think you compared my writing to that of hers. THANK YOU!

I showed the latest chapters to Crazymamma5, my cowriter, and one reads as clear as mud in spots and the other needs work too, so it might be a bit before I post them but this one might clear a bit of Mara's confusion about being picked and why the Council was eager to rid the village of her. Mara Goes to the Council (though it's also a rough draft)

I know it's hard to be patient, harder for me since I'm writing it and the characters have me on a need to know basis, but hang in there good things are coming.

hugs,
Gail

SarahNSH

Hello Gail!

Well, I finished your one chapter so I was on to this next one, especially since you gave me the heads-up about keeping my chin in place after reading it, lol. Anywho, I enjoyed this but do have some suggestions for you and some parts I noticed, and other parts I liked reading as well I wanted to point out for you, which I hope you don't mind. Well, here we go, I hope this is helpful:

The Master Councilman looked at his friends, the only ones he’d ever had. -

Hmmm, now this really makes me wonder... why are they the only friends he's ever had? Are people from the Council not allowed to mingle with the public? Are they kind of isolated from the rest of the group and keep to themselves, or are they only allowed to be seen inside of the Council? I don't know, I had a strong question of why? was the people of the Council the only friends he ever had? Anyways, as you know, I love to think. But, that was my thoughts with this part highlighted above.

Mara remembered a man, outside of a burning cottage, saying those very words. The rebuke didn’t hurt any less the second time around.
-

You know what? You may not believe this but I actually feel kinda sorry for Mara with how the Council despises her and treats her. I felt it with the last chapter I just reviewed and with this part right here. Which is good to build sympathy for a character too, so this is a good thing to do.

“It doesn’t matter now, Mistress Mara.” He said. For a councilman to omit a person's title meant the absence or removal of it. “Don’t you mean, Midwife Mara?” she meekly asked.
-

The underlined part above felt a little awkward to me when I was reading through this part and I was taken out of the story for a moment. It felt like you were explaining to the reader what this meant and with the quick dialogue action this shift felt a little strange to me, but again, this is just my thought and my opinion. I actually think with your info later on when they announce her demotion that you may not need to use this part to tell the reader about what it meant. Because, later on you show them about it, which I liked.

She wanted to scream at those who cheered her on but nothing would come out.-

Okay, I do have a suggestion for this part above. Since you already have in the part above this that "nothing would come out" I would suggest maybe switching up the wording of the last bit. Here's my suggestion for this part:

She wanted to scream at those who cheered her on but she couldn't find her voice.

The crowd would not allow her a chance to bolt. She stood looking at the people she’d thought friends and realized they were all acquaintances. Though she’d birthed their babes and healed some of their wounds, she’d never given them more than a nod of the head otherwise. Mara’s heart sank as she realized she had brought this on herself.-

Oh, I love this bit, how the realization hits her and how she feels this total alienation from everyone as they trap her and seal her to her fate. I thought this was well-done and just liked how all of this strikes her and this scene and part of it is just great.

And I really like the ending of your chapter and what it ends on. I'm glad you gave me a heads-up on this, this is definitely a jaw-dropper and quite a surprise! I enjoyed this overall and like how you have things set up in here. I like all the things that you seem to have going on here and I look forward to checking out more to see how this plays out. Thank you for sharing this and keep on writing away!

butchiesmom

Cool! You pointed out some things I noticed myself and some I didn't. Thanks. This will actually change slightly with the new scenes written and some which haven't been written yet.
I think you will like what happens there.

I, too, started feeling sorry for Mara after this until she threw another tantrum, lol. Yes, the Council's cruel to her, but she's been harassing them for years and well...you might've noticed she's not the nicest person or the brightest bulb in the pack...she just doesn't take a hint...

I believe there's good in everyone and that everyone has feelings and Mara's showing hers can be hurt. Too bad her 'aha' moment didn't last long, lol.

hugs,
Gail

erikestabrook

superb gail I'm very glad I'm keeping up