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Inspiring Novelists Aspiring to be a novelist? JPiC is in the business of inspiring and novelists are definitely welcome... So post your longer works in this section. (Only stories over 300 words please.)

"THE VIEW FROM THE TOWER."
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Old 10-03-2006, 10:51 AM
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"THE VIEW FROM THE TOWER."

"THE VIEW FROM THE TOWER." (Part 1) Author: Stardust.

Introduction:
I articulate much better in writting than in speech. My utterance in front of an audience is rather poor, due to the reason that, I am SHY!! I consider myself a WRITER. I have just a little time on Mondays to compose or recall my Stories into notebooks, before the boss comes back in, on Tuesdays. After I digged cat bowels, lifted heavy stuffs, did my daily chores and stood still to bear the mutilating pain without a shout, I would be able to use my spare time, giving the best of my dexterity in writing my Stories.
The Plot is about chaos, something so despicable and dreadful that, the Character, called Gladys, heard it through the Grapevine. This Story, which is basically part of fantasy, occurred in an underdeveloped and so much corrupted Country in the far corner or the foot of South America.

Chapter 1:
Gladys lived in Ivonne´s place at that moment, in a corrupted Country in the foot of South America. Ivonne had been Dr. W. Shadow´s wife. But, he had also had many mistresses...Dr. Wolfgang Shadow was a Medical Scientist and a powerful one. Gladys and Ivonne had indeed, met in some occasions. From all possible corners, Dr. Shadow had been watching Gladys. He would never let her go...She had known too much about his underground world of darkness, and she experienced no freedom at all...
Gladys recalled no other plights like this one, that had to encounter personally with such bravery. Gladys was a good and honest Undercovered Private Investigator, a Christian lady, and a true believer. Plus, she had registered many facts of life on her journals, since Gladys had been an amateur writer, who had always wanted to reach her inner dreams, to promote herself and to climb to the top.
A breathless silence was her daily company along with her cats. Gladys´vocal chords would be sliced, if she dared to brake the rules: the Boss Rules. Although, she would have liked to shatter the silence. Gladys was looking FOR JUSTICE, after all...
7 p.m. showed the old clock, and supper was set for one, at table. Dr. Shadow hadn´t been home.
Before mealtime, Gladys had always read a page or two of the Bible, which lay on the night-table of her bedroom. She also said a Prayer. However, the Bible was not in the place where it was supposed to be. Looking for it in closets and drawers in the Apartment, instead she only found her old Gospel, which Gladys used during her childhood.
To her surprise, she realized that, by going through the pages, there was an unusual, small picture of Ivonne, placed in the Last Chapter of the Gospel: "The Book of Revelations and the Apocalypses."
Ivonne had lived a corrupted life, full of sins and away from God, along with her husband, Dr. Shadow, a mad Medical Scientist. Dr. Shadow believed only in Science, and in what he would do for it, in order to improve Science in the World. His means were unknown, but side effects were left, as results...
Ivonne had only wanted a material world, and to save her hide. She would be interested in herself, and would not care less for others.
Gladys knew too well how corrupted Ivonne had always been...Besides, Ivonne had not believed in God.
Many other things fitted perfectly in the puzzle. However, Gladys would need more parts and evidence to complete the whole private investigation, not only about the MISSING PEOPLE, but also the Disappearance of Ivonne´s Maids and others. Like playing the Game of Chess, there was only one winner, at last. The evil was to lose. Gladys registered all facts into her journals, as reminders of evidence.
Ivonne´s decay grew, when her presence in the flow of Corruption began to turn into a downfall. Depression aroused, and Ivonne went down to Zero ground.
At its boiling point, the private investigation was following its course in a spotless clean manner.
Gladys headed for JUSTICE. She uplifted her spirit with a proud enthusiasm
in whatever she was doing. To her luck, Gladys had always worn a necklace with a gold Cross, as though it would let her feel protected. Furthermore, Gladys would do the sign of the Cross holding it tightly with her hand, whenever was needed to be done.
Looking out the window from the Tower in an old Skyscraper of the city, Gladys saw rain drops. The sun set much earlier in the fall. The dim lights of the distant Buildings appeared uneven, like tall mountains of concrete fading away in the dark blue sky.
Gladys lived there at that point in her life, but she was a bit frightened, especially at night, when the BATS came out for hunting insects in the open dark sky.
Suddenly, Gladys recalled something about many neighbours telling her the Story of the Jump: Ivonne´s Jump, to be more precise.
Ivonne had been badly hurt....Ivonne would not bear the pain any longer. She would not bear the loneliness either. She would not bear to dance with the devil any longer. Her dreams were shattered, as well as herself. So, Ivonne decided to meet Joe Black, face to face. She jumped off the high terrace like a waterfall from the old Skyscraper, killing herself instantly. Her blood, brain and bones were scattered on the ground.
The neighbours witnessed the scene, and many of them had a Nervous Breakdown. The devil had taken Ivonne´s body and soul, paying for her sins with her own sinful life. There was no beginning for a feeble and unlucky Ivonne. Time had not been on her side.
Then, after time, Glady´s nightmares arose without mercy...
Ivonne´s Ghost was able to be heard walking and grumbling with a strong voice, along the hallway of the old Building.
She had been there, waiting to take Glady´s life once again.
One evening......
Gladys was at table saying a Prayer, and ready for supper. Her cats were next to her, looking at the door in a strange manner, making noises and howling, and ready to attack the UNKNOWN.
Suddenly, a strange visit:.....Ivonne´s Ghost entered through the main door, but being hardly visible to one´s eyes. She swiftly dashed for Gladys and shouted: "You are sitting on my table, using my belongings and living in my place. You took everything I had, Gladys. I am NOT ALIVE, but the rest of us are STILL ALIVE. They will soon be coming after you to collect their prize. You are on the weeds. Your life is at stake!! And, they will get you. Be prepared Gladys!! You will soon DIE."
After that dreadful moment, Gladys looked up at the picture of Jesus Christ on the wall, she also pointed her gold Cross at the apparition, holding the Gospel as well, and Praying in a loud voice...Then, she shouted at the Ghost the Holly words -holding the Gospel in her hands: "VADE RETRO SATAN!! STOP AND GO IN THE NAME OF THE HOLLY LORD JESUS CHRIST, MY SAVIOUR!!"
In no time, the Ghost vanished into thin air.....
A sigh of relieve was at last in Glady´s mind, because she was so tired by fighting this battle with the evil, all by herself. Unfortunately, there were more events to come...Only a strong, brave believer would be able to defeat the devil at the end.
Then, Gladys kept on Praying next to her dear cats, until she fall asleep on the sofa. Did this happen for real, or was it part of a nightmare??...
This view of evil would not be the ending of the Story. There would be more nightmares coming up on Glady´s life. But, the Lord Jesus Christ was on Glady´s side, after all, she was a Soldier of God.

Author: Stardust. Written in 12/2005.

Last edited by stardust; 08-24-2007 at 11:34 AM.
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Old 10-13-2006, 06:16 PM
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Dear Ms Stardust,

I am not sure where to begin. In terms of your craftswoman ship, and the art of story writing, this is an EXCELLENT WRITE!! However, I cannot help being saddened by the true facts that were the bases of this story. Quite Chilling I might say , or to say the least. I would like to know, what kind of place was this, that Gladys was living in? Why was Gladys there after Ivonne, or was Gladys there just to investigate? Why would Gladys' vocal chords would be sliced, if she dared to brake the rules? Also, why would Gladys have liked to shatter the silence? What does Gladys know? What were the rules, and who's rules? Why did Gladys anger Ivonne so? Did they (Ivonne and Gladys) have a prior history before Ivonne took her life? I am very intrigued by this story Ms Starry, so please do tell......

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Old 10-13-2006, 10:03 PM
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Hello Painted: WOW!! WOW!!...You see, I caught your attention!! This is what I exactly want to do, in all my Mystery Stories. I usually start writing the First Chapter, in the middle of other things going on. My Stories are not Biographies. Sometimes, I begin the Story with the ending. Then, I go back to the beginning. This is my technique of telling Intrigues or Conspiracies. Sweet Painted, I am a Mystery Writer in my Story Telling. At times, the stories could be SCARY STORIES. However, the sad part of it is that, I take my stories from present realities, and give them some fantasy to change the real facts. I do not want the real offensers or criminals to realize that, I am talking about them, or got Inspirations out of them. In this particular story, Ivonne indeed, killed herself. Gladys was a Christian lady and a Private Investigator. Gladys was Investigating Missing People. Ivonne was part of a Secret Organization or Mafia. And her boss (Ivonne´s Boss), did not want her any longer. So, he planned to drive Ivonne to commit SUICIDE. Then, Gladys comes to the Scene, afterwards. Unfortunately, Gladys was a VICTIM HERSELF of IVONNE´S PLANS TO MURDER PEOPLE. To Ivonne´s misfortune, Gladys was smarter than her, and set a deadly Mousetrap to sink her in her own deadly trap. In other words, Ivonne was indeed, an Evil Character from the very beginning. About your question, whether Ivonne and Gladys knew each other before that event: I say YES!!...Although, I just can´t tell you the whole story. I only began to write it about a year ago. Unfortunately, the Second Chapter is not ready yet. Gladys was enlightened by the Guardian Angels, the Army of God. Gladys was sort of a Holy woman. Ivonne got scared to face Glady´s presence. Gladys began to have NIGHTMARES, which haunted her throughout the Story. Gladys began to see Ivonne´s Image, in different places after her death. The Boss of all Bosses would not want anybody to know, what was going on: "The Conspiracy". He would have probably fallen in love over sweet Gladys. Ivonne was the boss´wife. I call the Boss, when I refer to a Mafia Boss. It is an Undercovered Story. I plan to sell it to Hollywood, if some Producer is interested in My Story. As I have already mentioned in the Introduction, this Story is part Real and part Fantasy. The Imagination of Gladys is mixed up with the present reality, in other words, she goes crazy and confused, at times. Gladys wouldn´t know when the fact is for real or the fact is unreal. Gladys has also double personalities. She could be an angel or an avenger. How do you like that, my dear Painted??..Hugs, from Stardust.
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Old 12-20-2006, 11:42 AM
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ah now this seems good I would even read more of it,
the weird thing is this story isn't steady it jumps from points of great writing to point of writing that is lesser, this si all I noticed sorry I can't help you as much as I liked to but if you submit it yto the critique sallon they'll get it ready for publishment for sure, I liked it very much



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Old 12-20-2006, 12:13 PM
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Dear Erik: OH!! A BIG THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR NICE COMMENTS!! Your appraisals are so VALUABLE for me!! You see, this is a Story about ORGANIZED CRIME. I am sure, Hollywood would like to hear about it. I Plan to Sell it to Hollywood Producers, if I can. Anyway, I haven´t written the ending yet. I don´t think THE BOSS will ALOUD ME to...My mouth must be shut, or else...Do you understand what I am saying, sweetheart??...There is MAFIA in South America, and much worse than people might think about it. I just can´t talk about them...They will NEVER LET ME KEEP ALIVE!! Anyway, I am so Happy to see you here, darling. You see, I am a nice Christian American woman. I just got here by chance, and into the wrong place at the wrong time, just like any other VICTIM. The problem they had was that, I was a Writer and used to work for a US. Federal Agency. I had many USA friends. They did not expect that from me. I began to write all I knew, real stories...But, it suddenly stopped...Bye for now. See you later, Erik. God bless you, Erik!! Hugs and Love Always, from Stardust.
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Old 12-20-2006, 01:52 PM
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wow starry thats quite a tale, I've staye dout of gangs as long as i've been alive yeah your story might go over well here, mafia movies are big



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Old 08-24-2007, 12:02 PM
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Thank you, Erik and Ms. Kim for all your wise reviews and kind comments!! I appreciate them so much. You all take such precious time to read, as you are all hard workers in this friendly JPiC Community for Writers. I am so glad to be part of this lovely Team. It has already been 1 Year by now: "My First Anniversary with all of you." I am so sorry to be so late for my reply. The trouble is that, I have gone through so many Health Problems with my dear family all this year of 2007. So, I come back on stage now, if you wish. I can´t wait to go back on the road again. I love writing with a real passion. You see, I made some changes of this story, in order to be more clear to the readers. I expect all Readers to READ THE INTRODUCTION, as well as PART 1. All details are important to understand the whole picture, after all. I shall soon write Part 2 of this Story, which is going to be a thriller, and ANOTHER NIGHTMARE...You see, I am also a MYSTERY WRITER, but I have just a little time to spend on my writings lately. Poems are shorter and much faster to compose than Stories or Novels. One would need more time to work on a good Story or a good Novel. I can write a Poem in just a few minutes. It takes much longer time for me to write a good Story, though.
Well, Welcome to My World of Story-Telling!!...Starry.
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