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Christ Church of Barclay Park

While part of Rose rebelled against her domestic role, as her artwork was prone to show, an equally strong part of her wanted to please her husband. She saw how much her husband looked forward to going to Church, how his mood brightened on Sunday mornings, how he fussed over what color tie to wear and what suit. Although Rose had grown up in a Jewish family and still considered herself Jewish, she stopped going to temple after she turned eighteen. When she married the Doctor, he told her that he wanted to raise the children Christian, and it seemed important to her husband that the whole family practice the same religion. Thus, regardless of her religious upbringing, Rose seemed willing to go to church to satisfy her husband.

The Christ Church of Barclay Park was a non-denominational Christian church that received a large amount of charitable funds from the wealthy members of the surrounding area. The result of so many donations was a beautiful sanctuary that held over five-hundred people, with pews of dark mahogany, royal blue carpet, and a panorama of stained glass windows. The stage of the chancel was elevated above the congregation and divided into three sections. On the far left of the stage, the choir’s high pews; in the center of the stage, a small baptismal altar; off to the right of the stage, a leafy alcove with giant Roman candles in gold stands. This is where the Reverend and the senior Pasteur sat during the service. To give his sermons, the Reverend had to descend down to the pulpit. The pulpit, a work of art in itself, was an engraved block of wood represented scenes of the Resurrection and had been commissioned by the Church Elders.

The Reverend’s face was salmon-pink with bushy white eyebrows, and he wore a royal blue robe that billowed underneath him with strips of dark velvet along the arms. The Reverend had a certain charm that Rose could appreciate, and in the beginning, his charm almost persuaded Rose that the Christ Church was an open, loving House of God just like any Jewish synagogue, where she could feel safe coming with her husband and their children. Oftentimes during the service, when the Reverend was reading out of the Bible, she felt her husband’s warm hands fasten around her always cold fingers, and a fleeting harmony would pass between them. Week after week, Rose accompanied her husband to church not because she saw herself as a Christian, but because she wanted to feel closer to her husband.

Occasionally during the service, a flash of panic would snap Rose up from her seat—she turned her gaze nervously to the congregation. In the mottled faces of the crowd, Rose saw the selfsame expression of counterfeit joy and had the sensation that she was suffocating. Then she would scramble out of the pew, stepping over people’s feet in her haste, as the Doctor called out to his wife and began to follow her. Unless the choir was singing or the congregation was standing, Rose’s panic attacks would create scenes in the church. Sometimes the Reverend would be giving his sermon, and the Doctor would be running down main aisle, chasing after his wife.

They stood together in the central hall outside of the sanctuary. “What’s wrong?” the Doctor asked.

Rose’s face was flushed; the pouches under her eyes swollen with tears. “I can’t sit in there.”

“Why not?”

“I’m uncomfortable.”

“What’s making you uncomfortable?”

“You are.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re pressuring me to be here. I’m Jewish.”



The Reverend and Rose meet

At times, Rose’s neurotic behavior was simply baffling to the Doctor. He couldn’t understand how such a compassionate, loving environment could excite such hysterical emotions in a person. He spoke to the Reverend in private about his difficulties with his wife, stressing the importance of raising their children Christian. If his wife refused to join him on Sunday mornings, then his children would think that there was something wrong between them. In a calm and self-assured voice, the Reverend told the Doctor not to worry. He asked the Doctor to arrange a meeting where he would be able to sit down with Rose and discuss spirituality.

Rose’s living room, beige carpeted with curio shelves and a white grand piano near the window, was rarely used. She asked the members of her house, in fact, not to go into the living room. The room was meant to be on display. It was in this room, however, that Rose and the Reverend “discussed spirituality”. They sat close enough to each other that Rose could smell the Reverend’s odor of talcum powder and Listerine. The Reverend told Rose about his Dutch-Reform upbringing, his years as a Pasteur in a small rural church, and then recently about coming to the Christ Church of Barclay Park. Rose laughed at the Reverend’s good-natured jokes, and overall, was enamored with his soft-spoken eloquence. The warmth and humanity that gathered in Reverend’s deep voice filled Rose with such peace-of-mind that, at one point during their conversation, she told herself that she must have made a mistake—maybe her husband was right—Christianity was nothing to be afraid of. It still wasn’t clear to her why all those faces in the congregation had given her such a fright, but the Reverend’s calm geniality at once settled her fears, and their meeting made such an impression on Rose that she even got the idea to paint the Reverend’s portrait.

“My portrait?” The Reverend asked, surprised.

“Why not?” Rose said. “If you’re willing to sit for me, I’m willing to paint you.”

“Well, I suppose we could give it a try. And if it comes out well, then we might even be able to hang it in the church.”

Rose was excited to paint the Reverend’s portrait. Her eyes lit up with joy when he mentioned hanging the painting in the Church. She knew that the Reverend was an important member of the community and that a portrait of him could bring her notoriety. The next week, having regained her self-possession, she returned to church with her husband and their children.



The Doctor’s Christian Revival

When the choir bellowed out their hymns, or when the Reverend spoke of Jesus Christ in his warm, saintly voice, the Doctor would steal a glance at his children’s faces as they rested their sleepy heads under their mother’s arms. During these moments, the Doctor could only smile, for he was grateful that his wife was coming to church with him every week now and overjoyed about her affinity to the Reverend. He couldn’t have predicted something as wonderful as this, and during these brief moments of contemplation in the Church, he basked in the lofty ideal of family happiness. After all, it was quite possible that the years to come would be filled with infinite joy and the four of them would live in perfect harmony. It was possible. He had wanted nothing more than for his wife to become a Christian like himself and feel comfortable in the Church. And so, during service, in the company of his wife’s presence, his highest desire approached fulfillment and he experienced a “high” unlike anything he had ever felt before—so pure and positive and filled with warmth that he was elevated above his usual state of petty concern.

The Doctor was also captivated by the hospitality of the church atmosphere, and for the first time in his life, he felt a part of a community. He enjoyed rubbing elbows with the sociable community of believers, and after service he was suffused with laughter and joy as the congregation funneled into the large central meeting area, where coffee and donuts were laid out each week. There was always a long line of parishioners waiting to share a couple words with the Reverend and the Doctor stood in this long line because he wanted to thank the Reverend for reuniting him with his wife, and bringing her into the open arms of the church.

Now that his wife was attending services with him on a regular basis, the Doctor felt he ought to participate more in church life. During the three months that Rose was painting the Reverend’s portrait, the Doctor signed up for church retreats, attended weekly Bible studies, and enrolled himself in family values seminars. He also registered his son and daughter to take confirmation classes.