MsJacquiiC

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where
my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch and ask
where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
channel manually

3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too"...F*cking right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look"...Of course it is.
Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?"...No tosser I
paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.

6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved?'... Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it.

8. When people say, "life is short" ... What the f*ck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you're waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?"... If the bus had come would I be standing here, knobhead?

10. People who say things like, "My eyes aren't what they used to be". So
what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks, "Is that nice?" No it's
really revolting- I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce that they're going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering...It has to be "a McChicken
burger", just "a Chicken Burger" gets a blank look. Well I'll have a McStraw
and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

14. When you're involved in an accident and someone asks, "Are you alright?"
Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

PaintedDiary

Oh My Goodness.....this is the funniest damn thing.....how did I miss this!!!

Now when these things occur...I will know what to say..been wanting to anyway! LOLOL!!

Thank you Ms Jacquii for this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim

Jeez

Your really on a
rant today....


It's amuseing.

There are lots of these
sayings that are said every
day....

and the way you
say them will have
everybody.............

nomadicrhymer

tears falling!!! Yeeooowww! Ms. J...this is just TOO much...look, my kids are staring at me with wide-open eyes wondering if I'm going all looney again!! Darn, this was good. Fantastic ranting will lead to peaceful sleeping...

Thanks again, Ms. J. Like PD - I have no clue how I didn't see this one befo'

Nomad