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Miscellaneous Have a poetic style of your own? Have poems that defies all conventional categories? Share them here please. (i.e. dark & bitter, political, revolutionary, abstract, etcetera...)
made in a few minutes alone

Hours Alone
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Old 07-14-2007, 09:53 AM
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Hours Alone

sinking in this life,
not knowing what's the ground,
taught over and over again,
the Earth holds chains by bounds,

time to myself is all the time I have,
it would help if I knew the vein to stab,
people know each other and all I know,
is they don't get along or care a bit at all,

Pampered, never doing by myself,
Is this ugly mess what I wanted for me?
time by time these hours,
are flooding my mind,

What am I? not the answer for your solution,
a soul of pollution, who doesn't know where to find himself,
something to hold is far to foreign,
no one's forgiven,

I was taught by hours alone,
how tragic this life is,
it's set a reminder of what love has failed to do,
the only thing I'm in need of is you.



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Last edited by erikestabrook; 07-15-2007 at 10:36 AM.
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Old 07-15-2007, 12:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erikestabrook View Post
sinking in this life,


it would help if I knew the vein to stab,


What am I? not the answer for your solution,
a soul of pollution,

I was taught by hours alone,

the only thing I'm in need of is you.
Dear Erik,

I read this several times and it is interesting how you are talking to yourself, your love, to the world, and your audience with certain select words or phrases and I thought that was very skillful. The lines I highlighted stood out like flood lights, and are very powerful and are attention getting! That last line was classic after a sad and what appears to be a very dismal existence. I also love how it was not pretty much until that last line, that I knew you were talking to your love, and then I instantly reacted differently to your piece. Many ranges of emotion intertwined here. Great Poem Erik!

Kimberly



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Old 07-15-2007, 10:37 AM
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corrections made and thanks Kim



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