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»» Jack and Jill
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Miscellaneous Have a poetic style of your own? Have poems that defies all conventional categories? Share them here please. (i.e. dark & bitter, political, revolutionary, abstract, etcetera...)

lol, I couldn't help it

Jack and Jill

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10-07-2007, 09:54 PM

post #1

PaintedDiary

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Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
On a foggy Hallows’ Eve

A lantern was needed by Jack
Too bad a whining Jill’s neck went snap
Her decapitated head was a pleasure to cleave

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10-08-2007, 12:42 AM

post #2

MsJacquiiC

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Biography: Jacquii Cooke is a 32 year old Black Poet from Oak Ridge, Tennessee. As Webmistress of Poetry in Color Forum, she is devoted to the more abstract styles, especially those with a strong feminine voice that center around the topic of redemption and righting the wrongs of past transgressions.

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OK - Now this is waaaaay different from you MS KIM --- well your poetry realm anyway

-- But interestingly enough I kinda like it - Yeah it's a short rhyme - but the structure is nice and the content is right in time for the Halloween celebrations

One word though: EW!

At anyrate - an interesting share MS KIM - thanx for the read!

Jacquii.

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10-08-2007, 05:51 AM

post #3

lasher

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Hey now PD,

Jill may have deserved that for her incessant whining, but to actually walk up a dark hill with a man and his ax? Well, off with her head, I say!! lol..
PD + a spooky write = delicious visuals......lolol

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10-08-2007, 12:27 PM

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JolieH

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Sick Kim,

Funny though, poor Jill, should have wacked Jacks head. LOL

Interesting take on the nursery rhyme. I don't know if it was intentional, but it's kind of fun that it creates a pyrimid form.

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10-08-2007, 04:31 PM

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MsJacquiiC

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Quote:

Originally Posted by JolieH

I don't know if it was intentional, but it's kind of fun that it creates a pyrimid form.

Ha! That's the SAME thing I asked KIM yesterday!
Said it looked like a Clarity Pyramid with Kimberley magic

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10-11-2007, 03:45 AM

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nomadicrhymer

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Beautifully laid out pyramid!!! lovely! Now, as to the content...hmmm...didn't Jill always take care of Jack...and THIS is how she gets repaid? LOL! just goes to show, no good deed goes unpunished...

pretty cool, PD

Nomad

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10-11-2007, 11:30 PM

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PaintedDiary

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Hey Ms Jacquii....only you would notice the pyramid shape...lol..I didn't even think about until you said it and ya know...it DOES!

...lol....I am so glad you stopped by to read this. I thought you would like! lol...

Hey now lasher...lol..."Well off with her head I say!"...lasher you are too much...I'm still laughing my azz off here in West Chester! lol...thanks for reading and commenting lasher...

Hey Jolie...thanks for reading and commenting....next time it will be Jack's demise....lol...

Hahha Ms Jacquii...I hope nmy magic turns to green one day! lolol

Ms Nomad...thanks for reading and commenting.....yes she sure did and she got her head decapitated! Lions, tigers, and bears...OH MY! lolol ...

Thanks everyone for taking precious time to read and to comment. I appreciate it, and hopefully, I work up some more Kimberely Magic for another story, lol...love yas!

PD

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Last edited by PaintedDiary; 10-12-2007 at 02:23 AM.