MiscellaneousHave a poetic style of your own? Have poems that defies all conventional categories? Share them here please. (i.e. dark & bitter, political, revolutionary, abstract, etcetera...)
Night Falls
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Biography: divorced, 4 children, 2 still at home...planning to retire in Belize soon!
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Night Falls
Night falls
within this day
as a heart stands still
as breath withdraws
itself into the shadows
eyes fall gently shut
and chest collapses
hands are limp
to circumstances
no soul within
no…
nevermore.
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Virgin Rebel has not received any JPiC Member Awards.
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Short but nice piece, I was feeling the flow of it and even though it was short the words still paint a vivid picture. Great work, hope you continue to drop poetic gems like this one.
Biography: divorced, 4 children, 2 still at home...planning to retire in Belize soon!
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nomadicrhymer has not championed any arcade games.
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Hi Q! thanks for commenting! I will try to find more time to write! lol! Most of my stuff is hidden deep down in the archives...gone to perdition! I appreciate the feedback!
Biography: I am a poetry, short story, and Novel writer.
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Hello nomad!
Ohhh, I really do like this poem, short but packing a good punch to it! I like how you centered the poem and the line length that you have for each line. The flow of the poem is great and it just flows from one line to the next. I really love the images you have going on too, I just get this image of this woman standing alone, her breath withdrawing, and the actions that the poem was describing. I felt it was kind of sad in the tone, as if someone had just left her. And especially with the end of the poem:
no soul within
….nevermore.
And with the two lines before it with her hands being limp to the circumstances. As if she couldn't help what had happened and was at a loss of what to do. Or, at least this is what I got from reading your poem. It has a beautiful edge to it and you choose your words really well and the ending is poignant too. Anywho, I really did enjoy this! It's small but even though it is a smaller poem it says a lot with very little.
Biography: divorced, 4 children, 2 still at home...planning to retire in Belize soon!
Surfs The Web With:
nomadicrhymer has not championed any arcade games.
Instant Message Info Is Private.
Sarah Thanks for reading! It is about someone dying...as I watched and what I saw happening...but what you got from it is certainly fitting as well...that's the beauty of interpretation! Thanks again!
Sergo...I appreciate your comments...thanks for stopping by!
Bear...I hope you are well! Have a great weekend...thanks for the poetic love!
